Brother SNAFU, I do hope that you are still keeping your head down, and the other end too. It is no laughing matter to be sure however if I lived up north I'd be wearing a heavy steel cooking pot on my head and have at least one more stuffed down my pants.
I take those same precautions fairly often around here on the occasions when the wife has somehow caught me blissfully at work perpetrating a minor infraction of one of the many standard rules of safety, good taste, hygiene or matrimony (sometimes all of these at the same time).
You kindly compared my writing to a fine wine? Hmmmmm. OK, and like fine wine, reading my stories all too often brings on an irresistible feeling of drowsiness and a strong desire to drop right off to sleep.
I wish everyone a safe and happy Halloween next week. I will be dressing as the ugliest most kid frightening critter on the face of this monster-green earth. No Sir SNAFU I will not be disguised as Old Dux although the thought crossed my feeble mind. One Dux running rampant on Halloween night is quite enough thank you. Also I will not be wearing the custom-made outfit that makes me look just like my dear, saintly mother-in-law.
If you will recall I wore that amazing mother-in-law costume last year. And because it was such a damn realistic getup I got beaten up by a rowdy crowd of bill collectors, bookies and hitmen. Before I could dust myself off, bind my wounds and remove the costume to assume my own identity, I was wrongfully identified once again, arrested for assault on a police officer, fleeing the scene of an illegal crap game, counterfeiting church raffle tickets and for having passed several rubber checks.
Only after that Frankenstein type did the strip search down at the local pokey was my true identity determined and things eventually set right. Ok, ok to be completely truthful I was then incorrectly charged with impersonating a female and after my pitiful protests of my complete innocence they finally discovered their mistakes and dropped all the charges. No one said they were sorry, I was just handed my crumpled little trick or treat bag (now empty) and released. Do you know the worst part? It was now too late in the evening to get more candy. I will never, ever wear that costume again.
No indeed, for I will be sensably dressed as myself this year. That chills you right down to your bone marrow doesn't it?
------------------ "Blessed are they who expect nothing. For they will not be disappointed." - Edmund Qwenn, "The Trouble with Harry"
[This message has been edited by Jolly Roger Too (edited 10-21-2002).]
