Folks,

Ship's Log
Date: Still today
Time: Perhaps it's later than we think
Last Position: Still just in sight of that sub

It has been 6 long hours of paddling, huffing and puffing since my last entry. Even with a stiff breeze and a makeshift sail courtesy of Dux's limited shipboard wardrobe and a colorful spinnaker made from C51s red bloomers we are making precious little headway against the current in our desperate attempt to escape from the clutches of Olga and her friends in the German electro boot.

Every man jack is doing more than his duty and to the fullest. There is another rain squall coming up, perhaps we can hide it that? Dux, what are you doing with that signal mirror? Good Lord man are you signaling to the U-boat? Yes, I see some return flashes from its conning tower in the distance. Hmmmmmm. My German is kinda rusty....... By gosh, it's being sent in, in English and with a Russian accent.

The message reads: Kommm bak Duxey bebe. Komm too me U R my wan tru laver... der bosch dey are allez kaput now. Stoppp U rowink stopp U sailink I van see U old asski safe on dis heer bot prontoski. Then there is an extremely personal message that follows [blush!] that the modest Dux would certainly not care to have posted in the log. Besides I do not know how to spell the Russian equivalent of 'lap dance'.

Dux stop blowing that damn tin whistle before I throttle you. C51 why on earth did you return it to Dux? Just for that malfeasance C51 you cannot have another helping of roast beef (as if we really had any). Stop crying man. Get yourself together. Here, have a sandwich. Ouch! that was my hand you bit. I give up!

Oh well, what difference does it really make? We're not getting anywhere paddling anyway. The U-boat kaptain's drawers passed us and are miles ahead going out of sight.

We may as well give up and make for the relative safety of the U-boat. You did your best men. When we make it home again, and I swear that we will, any Englishman will be proud to shake you by the hand. Take heart lads.

Even if it is an enemy ruse almost anything is better than slowly starving in an open boat with three other blighters who are just as sun stroked, salt rymed, malnourished and obviously just as bloody nuts as I am. Let's turn around and paddle hard in the other direction lads. Good bloody grief C51 and Dux, it appears that you two have jolly well been paddling in that direction all along. No wonder we got nowhere. SIGH!

Oh God! No! It was a trap after all. I can just see the silver-white wake of a single torpedo streaking in our direction........ Abandon ship men, it's every man for himself..... No C51 we cannot take the caviar and roast beef with us, get out of the boat man....NOW!