I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when this large trouble-making biker walked up, grabbed my drink, and drank it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he said menacingly as I burst into tears.

"This is the worst day of my life" I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting today and the boss fired me. I walked to the parking lot to find my car had been stolen and I don't have insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with another man and then my own dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to end it all. I buy a drink, drop a capsule in it, sit here and watch the poison dissolve, then you show up and drink the whole thing!"

well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit...

May I pass on that?