A Question to other fathers

As many of you know, in recent months I have been stressed out and anxious about not being able to see my daughter in the Philippines. Tomorrow, I am going to try to set up a meeting with a local politician. I just wanted to get some other opinions, just to make sure that I am not over reacting to the situation re; my daughter.

Currently, my daughter is 11 years old. She has a half sister, and a half brother. The sister has bullied my daughter for a few years, but my daughter stands up to her. The main problem is coming from her brother, who is now (As I recall) about 21-25 years old. The boy is out and out homosexual (not that there is anything wrong with that) but for some years now, he has been dressing up and putting makeup on my daughter, effectively making her look older. The last time I was there, I directly asked him not to do this anymore, he laughed, and said yes. But it has continued, and I think has gone too far.

Recently, I was alerted by a friend over there (sister of one of my daughters teachers) that a Facebook page had been created under my daughters name. Sure enough, it is there, even though as I believe you have to be 13 to create a Facebook page. In her photos, she has been "done up"'; her hair has been colored, she has full makeup on, and even has colored contact lenses in her eyes. For me, this has been very distressing, because (I hate saying this) she looks seductive, but also VERY unhappy. Let's face facts; a lot of perverts go to the Philippines to have sex with young girls. I don't want this to happen to my daughter. There are tons of young, single mums out there, I don't want my daughter to become just another statistic. My concerns is that she could be taken advantage of by an older man. She gets my family height as well, so she already looks a little older than what she is anyway.

Attempts to contact her mother and discuss this have all been ignored.

I'm appealing to a local politician to try to help me to get an exemption to fly. I need to know that my daughter is safe. Emotionally and mentally, it is wrecking me. My question to all is this:

Am I over-reacting? Am I just of a generation that has not noticed change? Or would other fathers of an 11 year old daughter have similar concerns to me? Delicate subjects, but I would appreciate all opinions.

Thanks again,

Andrew.

Not a father but you def need to at the very least let Facebook know about the page since that is something you can do from AUS.

Good luck going forward and hope all turns out well

No, you are not overreacting. I would have a fit if my daughter was doing what yours was. You need to do everything in your power to shut down her Facebook account and separate her from half brother, who is a very bad influence on her, and sadly, sounds like her mother is a problem, too. Is there any way you can sue for custody?

I agree with the other posters ,,I have two daughters and several grand daughters ,,She's too young for that kind of stuff and the step brother is too old to be doing stuff like that,,,and posting it on FB is asking for trouble..I hope you get permission to travel soon and get s couple of folks down there straightened out..Good luck M8

Thanks guys.

Happy to know I'm not over reacting to this. I was mostly unhappy that she had colored contacts in her eyes, when she has no vision problems. Might hurt her eyes. As for her brother, I've warned him in the past, he has generally looked at me and laughed things off. But now a number of my friends have concerns too, if which they have advised me.

Under Filipino law, the odds are stacked against me. Because I did not marry her mother, she is seen there as an illigitimate child, even though I signed her birth certificate as father. Under this law, her mother gets custody until Elise is 18.

I can fight this but it will have to be dirty. I will have to display to the court that she has been neglected (she has) and paint the family as a bad influence. Got witnesses to help me with this, including her teachers.

Just hoping and praying for an exemption to fly. Hope this politician can help me.

It's asking for trouble even if there's nothing going on right now.

And I'd be leery of a daughter that age having any social media presence at all, as that's course how a lot of predators start "shopping".

I don't think its a coincidence that my stepdaughter was stalked for a time by multiple men in vehicles soon after she opened a Facebook account when she was 14.

The world is a rampantly evil place and you are right to be concerned. Your daughter is your responsibility, so don't let anything or anyone stand in the way of doing what is right by her. Move to the Philippines if you have to. The system isn't kind to fathers in this day and age, which I have learned firsthand. But don't let a broken system of people who don't care about her prevent you from taking care of her.

Facebook has child protection rules for under 13s, they may not have nor use a FB profile.

They have a duty to follow their terms of service.

She’s certainly a vulnerable target and is on the path to human trafficking.

I wouldn’t take it lightly. Human sex trafficking is rampant right now, and unfortunately it’s very likely she’s already been found by online predators.

I’d contact FB with her profile, and proof that she is only 11. Demand they suspend the account. Threaten legal action as well.

Overreacting , Hell! No such thing in this situation. Keep doing what you're doing. I have a fourteen year old daughter who I watch like a hawk. She is home schooled. One day I heard her on her computer, and I heard a man's voice. I thought, "Who the *&%$ is she talking to, and I went right into her room. It was her on-line math teacher! Ooops! Can't be too careful.

I knew I was right about this.

It's my duty to protect her with my life, and I take that duty very seriously. So far, I have put in 3 requests for international travel to our border control, but they have rejected me based on: "We do not allow family reunions" WTF? I have given them a 12 points document explaining my concerns. But I think here, you have to fit into a 'criteria'....in fact, I'm sure there is a computer assessing my request, not a person, even though in all cases there has been a name on the end of the rejection letter (conveniently without a surname, reference number, or return email address) so it seems impossible to appeal. I'm hoping that if I can see this politician, I can show him her on FB. I know he has daughters, so it may appeal to his family side. Still awaiting a reply from his office.

One thing that has happened here, is that with this COVID thing, Australians have been able to tap into some of their retirement money. I did this because I had lost my job, and I'm still out of work now. The good thing is, I'm banking this money, and if I go to the Phil and live a more conservative life there, nothing extravagant, I should be good to live there for about 3 years, even if I don't work. Reasonable price flights to get there, I check every few days, probably not the best thing to do, I know. I can't think of anything else that I can do to expedite this. But man, emotionally, it's doing me in real bad.

Call police on half brother.