Smoking in the gas station

Only in Balloch...Went into fill up the car at the Esso Well, I couldn't believe it, I noticed two policemen watching a woman smoking a cig while she was filling up.

I saw her & thought "what an idiot....with the police right there too".
I went in to pay and As I was walking out I heard someone screaming.
I looked outside & the woman's arm was on fire!!! She was swinging her arm & running around going ballistic!!

I rushed outside to help & the police had put her on the ground & were putting the fire out with what looked like their CS gas, but turned out to be bottled water!!!!

They put the bloody handcuffs on her & threw her in the police car.
I thought "she shouldn't have been smoking & putting petrol in, but really, hand cuffs!!!!

Being the nosey bugger I am, I asked them what they were arresting her for?
The policeman turned looked at me and said........................................
"WAVING A FIREARM!! "

Badum-tum tiss!

LOL

lol

Don't quit your day job Alicatt!

Doh! already did

Joke reminds me of the scene in "The Survivors" with Robin Williams and Walter Matthau early in the movie when Matthau's gas station blows up due to his cigarette rolling into a pool of gas left on the ground by Robin Williams.
Can't find a clip on YouTube unfortunately,


Wheels

I am standing at the window looking out at the rain and was thinking about how sad my wife has been looking.

I’m considering letting her in.

If it's "bad joke day"...

I was woke up at 4:00am today by some strange woman banging on my door. So I got up and let her out.

As I watch the green Mile

lol

My wife went missing last week. Today the police came round and told me to expect the worst, so I went down to the charity shop and asked to have her clothes back.

Don't give up hope, RedToo.

new multimillion dollar study finds;
people live longer the more birthdays they have

Another reason it sucks to be born on February 29th.

And tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life..