30 years ago today, I remember thinking...

<January 9th, 1988 3:30 PM CST>

1. “Holy crap, am I really doing this (not even 6 months previous I was still a teenager)?!

2. “Oh man, she's beautiful (as her brother escorted her down the aisle). And in about 6 hours we'll be finally cashing in our 'v-cards' (looking at watch all evening)!”

3. “Damn these tuxedo pants are uncomfortable (even with maxed-out adjustable waist, already gaining weight), I *knew* I should have gone one size up!”

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It all starts with an engagement ring (I proposed early '87), I remember spending ~$700.00 on it, bought it at a Zales in Cortana Mall. Which means I probably grossly overpaid for a very tiny rock (with elevated prongs to make the diamond appear bigger), but she's always been happy with it (never was high-maintenance, quite the opposite, thankfully)...




Wife getting ready at my parent's house, me goofing around outside of Community Center...






We pulled off a $2,000.00 wedding (selling her Dodge Omni to pay for it) for ~100 people, including her dress, food, cake, liquor (beer only), photographer, everything! Only because so many people (mostly our families) helped out so much with arrangements and food, they knew our (and mother-in-law's) situation. We were also lucky that her cousin had a VHS camcorder (the big kind that rested on your shoulder or stand) and offered to tape our wedding and reception.

The newly renovated Community Center was only $50.00 (both wedding and reception) but required us to wait in line outside for a couple of days to reserve our date (often taking turns). Very small town, everyone knows everyone so at least you camped out with people you knew, it was actually kind of fun. When the wedding ceremony was over, tables were brought out and chairs rearranged for the reception, keeping the middle open for dancing.

More pics...




Only later when I saw the pictures did I realize that I already had a bald spot at 20...




And never forget, women need to be romanced (unfortunately I did forget this for about 20 years)...




The paperwork (secular wedding performed by the town's Judge)...



The Judge told us that he had never performed a full-scale wedding before, and later others would follow (telling us how impressed they were). Man, looking over the 'lyrics', I forgot just how short and simple our wedding ceremony was.




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So, how are we going to celebrate our 30th Anniversary this evening? A nice dinner out? Watch the wedding tape (converted to DVD)? Reminisce about our honeymoon (St. Francisville Inn, a little Victorian-styled bed and breakfast about a 45 min. drive northwest of here, all we could afford)? Nope, none of the above...

Wife has been in bed with the flu since Monday (Influenza A), in 'quarantine' until Friday (some heavy meds she's on, I'm about to pick up my own preventative prescription after I post). Our flu shots a few weeks back were apparently ineffective. But that's the breaks sometimes, it's just an inconvenience, we can celebrate later.

Despite some rocky times (nothing fatal, just cumulative mistakes and disconnects over the years), we both agree that being together was meant to be, that the many ruts we found ourselves in were worth clawing our way out of. So I guess that attitude ultimately trumps all.

I plan to revisit or repeat this thread on #50 (in 20 years).

Congratulations Mark on reaching 30 years

I will have my 3rd wedding anniversary in April this year

Congrats on your upcoming 30 years Mark!



Were you dressed for a wedding or a prom in those pics?

Literally #TBT

Congrats!

Thanks, all.

PM, it was the 80's, man!

Now that I think about it, living in a small conservative Southern town, we were probably a few years behind the times (think Napoleon Dynamite).

Yeah, those fashions look more like early 80's than late 80's.

Congrats ! We have #40 coming this April 1st

Congrats, Mark!

I'm on Year 13....with wife #3. I think this one will be a keeper.

Awesome Mark, Congrats on your 30th.

Having our 24th this June.

Congrats! Just made 10th this last year myself.

One of my cousins told me he would, in silver sharpie, write "HELP" on the bottom of one shoe and "ME" on the bottom of the other so when nealing at the altar, everyone would read it. He made me so paranoid, I had to check the bottom a couple of times before the ceremony just to be safe, all the while knowing there was no way he could because I had the shoes on already. Fricking mind games.

Congratulations!!

Very good. My congratulations.

Congrats! It’s good way to live that fewer and fewer come to know these days.

Thanks again, everyone.

I pulled out those pics and documents and then wrote a post about it as I was feeling down about this evening, but everything will be re-planned. I started taking Tamiflu today and feeling fine, wife also on Tamiflu and a nasal spray (after getting a steroid shot) and says she's feeling better.



Well, I don't mean to paint my marriage as some shining example, far from it (and I won't rehash the negatives right now ). I think everyone has to follow their own path, even if not the traditional ways, to find what works for them and makes them happy. Cliché I know, but whatever it is you want, as I'm learning later in life now that I believe I finally do know what I want now, you have to work for it. I still have to keep a bad attitude in check (I blame 90's Grunge ), also have a lazy streak. I remind myself constantly to make better decisions, to appreciate what I have and to show it with my actions as well as my words. Gotta ways to go yet.

I did make *some* good choices though, I'm convinced of that.

Congrats Mark and Mrs. G!

It's evident from your posts here that you are both making it work, consciously and with loving effort. Not too many people have that skill and energy over such a long time.

Congrats, that is so great!

v6,
boNes

Congratulations, you incurable romantic, posting those pix after 30 years! From a 37 year veteran

That suit tho'

I think most of us married in the early eighties looking back at wedding photos think 'did I really wear THAT?!)

The tux still isn't as bad as the light blue 3-piece suit I'm wearing in this 1984 Polaroid (our first pic together, also in my parent's living room).



This is about the same time my 8-track collection was peaking so yeah, I was a bit behind the times.

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I'm hesitant to post group pics on a public board (even an obscure one like SimHQ) but I took this one low-res enough, I think...




I'm looking forward to watching the wedding/reception video again, it's been a long time. Maybe later today if we're up to it.

Congratulations, MarkG!

Congratulations Mark.


Wheels

I've refrained from writing anything too cringe-worthy (I think), like the kind of sap in a Bryan Adams' power ballad or Hallmark Card. But while I'm being pummeled by unusually strong doses of nostalgia (or maybe it's the anti-flu meds I'm on), I want to tell a story about my wife's character that made a real impact on me in those early years...

My wife competed with her best friend for top honors of our class (small school, graduating class of ~200). They took turns taking the lead, but then her friend (also Maid of Honor in our wedding, in group pic above) became ill during our Senior year and was out of school for several weeks. Every day after school, my wife would bring her friend class assignments so that she didn't fall behind. Her friend won by half a point...



Wife still received a scholarship to LSU which is all she really wanted (and another while in college for scholastic achievement).

I finished HS on time by the skin of my teeth (I had a good tutor to pull me out from the depths of failure, another dynamic to our relationship). Opposites really do attract, I guess.

Seriously, the school thing is bothering me a *lot* right now, more than it ever has. Success stories like Nixer's gives me hope.

Congrats!

EDIT: You too JimK, and others who are racking up the mileage (and you should be able to keep a running total if not on your first).

I'll revisit thread in 10 years with pics if we actually do a Norwegian cruise for #40.

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Oh man, I'm just now realizing looking at above pic that our HS class (1985) song was "Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To)" - Diana Ross (1975)! We really are about a decade behind the times down here!

Or they just don't post so much about it. Eh, I gotta eventually calm it down a bit, I know.

I'm guessing you're still on the hunt (at least passively) for the next potential Mrs. Helmut?

well done Mark and Mrs. G! As proof of my old guy status, my wife and I will celebrate our 41st in February. We weathered some tough times , but can laugh at most of the things that troubled us long ago.

Sounds about right. Early to mid 70's is about that last time I owned a pair of white shoes.

Congrats to you and the wife.

Congrats Mark on 30 yrs ! Many don't even make it to 8 yrs.

That’s what I mean though.
A person should do what makes them happy. Not much worse out there than a bad marriage.
However, (It seems like) a lot of people these days don’t do it out of not wanting to put someone else first and not wanting to commit.
Eh, whatever, it’s fine with me. I have a lot of respect for those that do it and it lasts. It’s hard to know if you’re one of those or not some days. LOL

Ah, I get ya now RK (my internet comprehension skills are often lacking).

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Thinking over comments and wanting to provide a summary to make my thread complete...

Other than some goober decisions (i.e. taking off to Atlanta without her just a few months in), I'd say the first ~5 years or so of marriage were fantastic (and the "love life" was insane, as we knew it would be). Well, except for the constant fighting (never physical though...paraphrasing: "If you ever cheat on me, hit me, or I feel like you no longer love me, it's over with no second chances." - and I never doubted that she meant it). Hard to believe how much we fought in those early years of marriage and with such intensity (after a peaceful courtship). But making up was equally intense (the 'chemistry' always lurking just beneath the surface).

The toughest part for me at first was unstable employment (AutoCAD drafting/design - layoffs, shutdowns, contracting). Wife had her own "problems" (constantly traveling, relentless family matters back home) but was always the rock and source of stability in our marriage (she's worked for the same company since being recruited off campus her Senior year in '89).

I had no business getting married at 20, but it's not like I've regretted never experiencing the freedom of single life. Although I should have focused on my education first (I did well on my ACT and was accepted into LSU's School of Architecture) while experiencing living completely on my own (feels like I was handed off from mother to wife). But I also didn't want to chance letting this girl slip away, after coming close her Freshman year of college, before tightening up my act (if just enough).

Continuing...

After 8 years in Atlanta we moved to Jacksonville with her job transfer, following the '96 Summer Olympics. It was soon after that she began hinting about starting a family, when all I wanted to start was a Corvette (I *loved* the new C5). But then my business went from having a very bright future (giving formal company presentations, international sales, Hewlett Packard showing interest in my software) to a dismal failure (threats, lawsuits and software lock-downs [I wasn't directly involved in legal proceedings (only indirectly) but was greatly affected by the lock-downs]). I probably should have sought professional help because it was the one time in my life that I truly felt depressed. Not so much that I was considering harming myself, just determined to eat myself to an early grave (wife's health also began declining around this time).

Fast-forward to 2008, we didn't even celebrate our 20th Anniversary (nor a few before that, IIRC). By this point our marriage was at best a somewhat friendly roommate situation (even the occasional fighting turned to indifference). The marriage was dead and had been for some time, although deep down the love was still there...somewhere.

Then in Oct. of 2008 I had a health scare (emergency doctor's appointment [EKG, outrageous BP] followed by hospital tests the next day) that changed everything, I mean *everything*! I don't even know the date (receipts buried somewhere in the files), but following that appointment (the absolute lowest point in our lives), we made a decision that we were going to fight for our marriage, starting with our health. Despite the many screw-ups of the previous 20 years, we were going to start turning things around.

A year later (2009) my wife took another job transfer (excited about going from corporate to mill environment), back home to the Baton Rouge area (her mom's health deteriorating, wanting her to be “home” close to family, also to be closer to my aging parents). Suddenly, within a year of improving our health and marriage, we found ourselves back where we started, enjoying our old dating and courtship stomping grounds (mostly around LSU). It's like a time warp, we became the couple we were before things got so complicated and messed up.

Fast-forward to the Summer of 2015, vacationing in the N. Georgia mountains, walking hand-in-hand along the main strip of Helen, GA...

"This is what I've always dreamed our marriage would be." I wholeheartedly agreed.

Overly dramatic? Sure. True story? Every freaking word of it.

Ok, *this* is more like the post I wanted to end on...

Wife is now over the flu (I never caught it, Tamiflu must work where the flu shots didn't, it's expensive enough) and today we watched the wedding/reception video...



A total low-resolution cringe-fest (I was hoping being the nostalgic type that I wouldn't cringe so much ), but we're lucky that in Jan. of '88, we have any video at all (and with sound). I also forgot that my brother converted all of our home movies and wedding DVDs to MP4s, watching on Windows Media Player.

We'll watch it again in another 10 years. We figure it's at least possible to have another vibrant 30 years ahead of us, based on my parents going on 61 this August (I was an accident, born on their 10th Anniversary...lucky them).

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Anyway, we had another one of those talks...

Where to go from here, besides staying healthy and helping my parents to stay healthy. For one, a big project coming up this Summer, my father and I will be constructing a 280 sq. ft. sun room w/open beam ceiling off the back of their apartment, facing the pond. Our other two major construction projects ("barn" workshop and apartment) worked out really well (I designed them in AutoCAD).

But my wife is convinced I'm not going to be truly happy until I get my F-19 game done, along with whatever I need to learn to make it happen. Something I've talked about for years, I actually dream about it sometimes, yet I've never given it any *real* effort past a bunch of false starts. We figure there's no more of an opportune time than right now to do it.

Funny thing is that she told me (in a nice but concerned way) that I need to get my head out of the 80's until the weekend (Friday evenings), that we can go back together (kind of like a mental roll-playing thing we do) but to try to stay focused on the present, during the week. My response, "F-19 *is* the 80's, baby!" Her response, "Being on the laptop [meaning online] as much as you are isn't very 80's." D'oh, got me there.

I always thought these guys were on to something...



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7pqPpa3qiM