The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1512:49 AM
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The Barmy OFFers Club
Throughout the annals of history people of like purpose and intent have gathered together in efforts to share and strengthen their common ideals and to strive in unison towards extraordinary goals. The Knights Templar, the Illuminati, the Freemasons, and other such ancient assemblies have used the combined abilities and fortunes of their members to attempt broad sweeping and long-lasting changes around the globe. Their greatness and power were and are inextricably tied to their like-mindedness and shared zeal, and because of this they became far greater than the sum of their individual parts.
The Barmy OFFers Club is nothing like this. We are a daft group, though rather clever and creative, who happen to share the same obsession for the marvelous WWI aerial combat flight sim, 'Over Flanders Fields'. We do not imagine for an instant that we will alter the course of world history, apart from the bygone years of 1914 through 1918 in which our many virtual selves fly and fight and live and die. Since we are a bit over-the-top we do things on occasion that are considered by those not of us to be...well...barmy. Furthermore, we don't look upon these things we do as a negative but rather more a badge of honour. Because of this shared skewed outlook we have been drawn together with others who not only understand but actually appreciate such daftness, as they suffer from the same wonderful instability themselves.
Are you such an individual? Do you lack the grip on reality it takes to become one of the BOC? If you think you qualify then we encourage you to apply for membership in this less than illustrious yet somehow elite group of halfwits. Read through our charter and post your qualifications below. Prove to us just how round-the-bend you are for OFF and you too can have your name added to our 'Roll Call Of The Barmy'. Dues will be collected in the club bar on the first Saturday of each month, (and if you believe for even a moment that there actually is a club bar you are closer to qualifying for membership in the BOC than you might realize).
Honorary Members (this lot is barmier than all of us):
Winder Polovski OvS Shredward Paarma Sandbagger Rabu Makai RexHannover Nod Capt.Winters Matt Milne AnKor And all the special contributors who have worked with the OFF dev team over the years
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1506:18 AM
Anything that uses the Dodo bird for a mascot is something I'm interested in...
You would have been proud of us Honorary members (Pol, Sandbagger and I) when we all geeked out at the Hendon RAF museum. I am convinced the museum manager was content with just leaving us there as we knew more than anyone in the whole place... but he could see my eyes fixed on that D.Va and must have know I would have jumped in it and took off as soon as he turned his back.. with Sandbagger grabbing the SE5a, and Pol in the Fee.
Ahh.... nothing better that the era of the WWI Biplane.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1508:57 AM
Originally Posted By: OvStachel
... but he could see my eyes fixed on that D.Va and must have known I would have jumped in it and took off as soon as he turned his back.. with Sandbagger grabbing the SE5a, and Pol in the Fee.
Yeah, I can imagine THAT only too well! How the poor man was sitting on glowing coal with you lot in his fine collection!
Should you ever visit THE VINTAGE AVIATOR together, I'm sure Peter Jackson would quickly hire a hundred Orcs and position them as a "life guard" around you as long as you are in there. "Oh my god - the 'Golden Triumvirate'! Guards!!!" Mmuahahahahahaaa!!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1511:59 AM
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Oooo, talk of Albs and SE5s and Fees and The Vintage Aviator, very nice! But I must interrupt such banter for official club business.
(Lou ducks at this point as anything of proper throwing size that isn't nailed down is hurled at him with the accuracy only practiced inebriation can provide.)
HA! You all missed. Now then, MFair has petitioned for membership into our little group. I for one say he's qualified and then some simply by asking to be included in this lot. A round of 'ayes' are in order don't you think, followed by a round of drinks on our newest victim.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1502:31 PM
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Another foo...ler ah, individual has made known his desire to join our ranks. What say you all to Nietzsche becoming one of the daft, the touched, the barmy? Aye says I! Yet another bar tab to take advantage of, me thinks.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1502:35 PM
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Oh, and seems I'm neglect in mentioning Raine's desire to join up as well. When it rains barmy, it pours. Aye again, says I! This is developing into a potentially epic blow-out.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1502:48 PM
Originally Posted By: lederhosen
Sooooo
how does one apply for membership then? I'm not stupid, just barmy.
As per the original post in this thread, you need only ask and state your qualifications as noted in our charter. In your case lederhosen it would simply be a formality as you are quite clearly one cylinder short of a rotary.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1504:59 PM
Originally Posted By: lederhosen
Sooooo
how does one apply for membership then? I'm not stupid, just barmy.
You bring up an important point. I have a German pilot, "Rex von Schnaups" that I use to demonstrate WOFF to my brother in law (also named Rex, coincidenatlly). He's always absconding with the Baron's triplane, to which the Baron spits, "Er weiß nicht einmal steigen 'bekloppt.' Er ist nur ein Idiot."
(with apologies to the real German speakers here, that was Google translate. I jad "barmy" in quotes, which came out "bekloppt.")
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1505:39 PM
Salute
Dear Sirs, Madams or hermaphrodites,
After reading through the list I believe I qualify to be a member under articles 1,3,4,15,19,20 and 24 of the charter, and wish to register my application to join this very fine group of equally daft people.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1505:51 PM
Originally Posted By: Olham
You wrote: "He doesn't even know climb 'barmy'." Whatever that means...???
Shoot, I just should have wrote it in English. I'd intended the Baron to spit out in disgust, "He doesn't even rise to "barmy". He's just an idiot!" Blasted on-line translators... ruined whatever kmild grade of "funny" might have been in there...
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1506:15 PM
@Drone: Ah! LOL ...doesn't matter, still funny. Well, this Expression is so complicated in German Language, that I currently don't even know, how I would say that... Maybe: "Hah! Er hat's nicht mal bis -Bekloppt- geschafft, er ist auf -Idiot- hängen geblieben." ...or so...
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1506:32 PM
Thanks, Nietzsche! I was always (hic) bad at languages.
(I remind everyone that, as this is a solemn meeting of the BOC for conferring membership, we should all be dizzy drunk. Or pick your euphemism. "All gassed up!" "Well oiled!" "All gooned up!" "wasted" "Plastered" etc)
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/1509:11 PM
Lou,
Thank you for passing my application along to the grand and illustrious members of the Club. I shall await their decision with baited breath.
By the way, that cricket bat spanking thing isn't the initiation is it? I mean, if it's going to get kinky, I'd prefer the other thing. You know, the one with the duck, the dwarf, and the tub of Velveeta cream cheese.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/24/1501:10 AM
Well, I shall ask to join as well. I do believe at least half of the qualifications apply to myself. At least that is all I will admit to at this time. I await your decision Sir! It would be an honor to be in such a daft group.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/24/1506:18 AM
I would certaily ask to join this illustrious group, and offer the following for your perusal:
Article 10: Not only do I mutter 'rat-a-tat' at cars that cut me off, I do so at cars that are too slow, and whenever I simply feel like it. The only way I can go on roller coasters is if I can focus on the seat in front of me and pretend I'm pursuing it through the turns, guns blazing.
Article 5: While I have not completely 'checked my six' in a vehicle, I have caught myself slowly sweeping my head from left to right, looking for cars at longer range.
Article 1: I have indeed seen WOFF in every day occurrences or straying into my thoughts: For example, I've more than once thought a project's chance of success at work was about equal to a Fokker E.III vs. a Camel.
(If not worse.)
Article 4: We won't even talk about my desk, the maps I've actually managed to put away for much, the Joystick my wife is constantly pushing aside so she can get to her 'games', enough dice to make Gary Gygax of D&D fame proud, and character/squadron notes.
Article 17: Many times I've regalled my wife with tales of another brilliant death. Particularly the sadder ones, such as when I've escaped an enemy, clipped a fence, SURVIVED, then crashed just before the aerodrome because I cut my engine too soon and stalled out.
Article 16 in spades: I end up throwing away half my papers at work, because all my to do lists, notes and stats end up being escorted by German and British biplanes. Or even roundels.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/24/1512:18 PM
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CatKnight, your credential will most certainly qualify you for membership. AYE! oooooooo, my head ... shouldn't have shouted that. For the rest of the morning all discussions and votes shall be kept at a whisper. And yes, we have a bar CK and you have a bar tab as of several hours ago that has already grown to quite an impressive amount. You'll want to talk to the barkeep about settling up on that.
MFair, I petitioned on your behalf earlier here so you were voted in last night at some point during the proceedings, though just when is a bit fuzzy.
Yes, so then, if my calculations are correct, we've five new members to our cadre. Please welcome fellow Barmy OFFers MFair, Nietzsche, Raine, lederhosen, and CatKnight. Your names will be added to our Roll Call of the Barmy and you'll each be receiving your acceptance letters and club badges. But not until I've found the bromo and gotten several cups of coffee in me. And someone collect up all these beer-soaked sweaters and hang them outside, I damned near broke my neck slipping on one of them earlier this - oh - never mind, that one's mine.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/24/1501:16 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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CatKnight, your credential will most certainly qualify you for membership. AYE! oooooooo, my head ... shouldn't have shouted that. For the rest of the morning all discussions and votes shall be kept at a whisper. And yes, we have a bar CK and you have a bar tab as of several hours ago that has already grown to quite an impressive amount. You'll want to talk to the barkeep about settling up on that.
MFair, I petitioned on your behalf earlier here so you were voted in last night at some point during the proceedings, though just when is a bit fuzzy.
Yes, so then, if my calculations are correct, we've five new members to our cadre. Please welcome fellow Barmy OFFers MFair, Nietzsche, Raine, lederhosen, and CatKnight. Your names will be added to our Roll Call of the Barmy and you'll each be receiving your acceptance letters and club badges. But not until I've found the bromo and gotten several cups of coffee in me. And someone collect up all these beer-soaked sweaters and hang them outside, I damned near broke my neck slipping on one of them earlier this - oh - never mind, that one's mine.
Lou, we may be needing to replace the old cricket bat soon as it has seen considerable service as of late! May I suggest that the next one be made of iron wood? Awfully heavy to swing but packs a nice wallop!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/24/1501:24 PM
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GASP! Replace the most hallowed and ancient cricket bat? Sacrilege! I am going to assume that's the hangover talking Robert and forgive you this transgression, but only once. Replace the cricket bat he says - phhht.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/24/1501:33 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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GASP! Replace the most hallowed and ancient cricket bat? Sacrilege! I am going to assume that's the hangover talking Robert and forgive you this transgression, but only once. Replace the cricket bat he says - phhht.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/24/1502:25 PM
Yes, well, I would like to thank my Mom, my Cat, my Latin-Teacher, the Guy at the Computer-Store and all the lovely Persons involved in this abitious Project, that is now making the World a bit brighter than it was before. I couldn't have done it without your Help. You are terrific! ...wait...wrong notepaper...
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/24/1505:08 PM
I was stacking firewood and thinking of the big all nighter chunks as heavy bombers and stacking smaller morning starters right next to them and thinking of those as scouts.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/24/1505:40 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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MudWasp, is that a statement of your qualifications for entrance into our questionable group? If so, you have my vote Sir.
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Aye agree, indobl...indoubabl...for sure! Hic! Sorry Lou, but someone has to drain the left over glasses! Wouldn't want to pollute the environememt..envromem.. the earth! Hic!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/24/1510:48 PM
Seeing as I am going to be around for a while longer. The "Sword of Damocles" having been removed. I would like to formerly apply for entrance into this esteemed group. I looked at the qualifying points and think that I qualify under the following... Numbers 1,2,4,5,9,10,15,16,and 23. I thank you for your consideration in this matter. Typhoon (Tony)
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/24/1511:18 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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MudWasp, is that a statement of your qualifications for entrance into our questionable group? If so, you have my vote Sir.
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Yes, just one of many examples.
Today at my grandsons first birthday party is another. I made paper airplanes then showed the young kids how to do so and had a mini war, boys vs girls in the basement. We then rubbed inflated ballons on our hair and stuck them to the ceiling. They reminded me of zepplins. I taped a toothpick to the nose of the streamlined paper airplanes and we went on a zepplin raid. Much fun popping those ballons with tooth pick nosed paper airplanes. It even brought the adults downstairs wondering what all the commotion was about.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/25/1502:22 AM
I kinda dreded it being boring. Pick my mom up from the Lutheran home and went off nto the party. Got her home a little late for supper, no biggie as she had controband food.
I wanted to set the paper airplanes afire and launch of the back deck. The adults didn't like that, and it was windy with freezing rain.
Had fun driving my mother, great gramadma she is, home.
Her dementia is setting in, but boy did we chat up a storm on the way home. Kinda reminda me of a Truman Capote short story.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/25/1502:55 AM
I like paper arplanes and kites.
"A Christmas Memory" is about a young boy, referred to as "Buddy," and his older cousin, who is unnamed in the story but is called Sook in later adaptations. The boy is the narrator, and his older cousin — who is eccentric and childlike — is his best friend. They live in a house with other relatives, who are authoritative and stern, and have a dog named Queenie.
The family is very poor, but Buddy looks forward to Christmas every year nevertheless, and he and his elderly cousin save their pennies for this occasion. Every year at Christmastime, Buddy and his friend collect pecans and buy whiskey — from a scary American Indian bootlegger named Haha Jones — and many other ingredients to make fruitcakes. They send the cakes to acquaintances they have met only once or twice, and to people they've never met at all, like President Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
This year, after the two have finished the elaborate four-day production of making fruitcakes, the elderly cousin decides to celebrate by finishing off the remaining whiskey in the bottle. This leads to the two of them becoming drunk, and being severely reprimanded by angry relatives.
The next day Buddy and his friend go to a faraway grove, which the elderly cousin has proclaimed the best place, by far, to chop down Christmas trees. They manage to take back a large and beautiful tree, despite the arduous trek back home.
They spend the following days making decorations for the tree and presents for the relatives, Queenie, and each other. Buddy and the older cousin keep their gifts to each other a secret, although Buddy assumes his friend has made him a kite, as she has every year. He has made her a kite, too.
Come Christmas morning, the two of them are up at the crack of dawn, anxious to open their presents. Buddy is extremely disappointed, having received the rather dismal gifts of old hand-me-downs and a subscription to a religious magazine. His friend has gotten the somewhat better gifts of Satsuma oranges and hand-knitted scarves. Queenie gets a bone.
Then they exchange their joyful presents to each other: the two kites. In a beautiful hidden meadow, they fly the kites that day in the clear winter sky, while eating the older cousin's Christmas oranges. The elderly cousin thinks of this as heaven, and says that God and heaven must be like this.
It is their last Christmas together. The following year, the boy is sent to military school. Although Buddy and his friend keep up a constant correspondence, this is unable to last because his elderly cousin suffers more and more the ravages of old age, and slips into dementia. Soon, she is unable to remember who Buddy is, and not long after, she passes away.
As Buddy says later: "And when that happens, I know it. A message saying so merely confirms a piece of news some secret vein had already received, severing me from an irreplaceable part of myself, letting it loose like a kite on a broken string. That is why, walking across a school campus on this particular December morning, I keep searching the sky. As if I expected to see, rather like hearts, a lost pair of kites hurrying towards heaven."
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/25/1503:56 AM
Gentlemen, I would request admittance into your august assemblage, even though it be only January. In my defense, I would OFFer up any of my challenge videos and say "If they not be barmy, then not barmy be I!" I should wear the badge with pride, if in the future I should ever be so fortunate as to do something that would warrant "pride"! What say you, my daft overlords? and (W)OF(F) course, , followed directly by ...
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/25/1510:59 AM
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Rick, your WOFF challenge videos have certainly demonstrated that your grip on reality is tentative at best. AYE!
Tony, your lunacy goes back years with OFF so I know you qualify. AYE! again.
Thanks to these most recent lapses in good judgement it appears we'll have another trio soon sharing our traditions what with MudWasp, Rick, and Typhoon throwing their collective mad hats into the ring for consideration. Barmy love company.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/25/1508:40 PM
Ok, so today while roping a cow, with the wind in my face, I saw myself as a winged aviator sitting in his Sopwith Triplane and my quarry was an Albatross scout. I made my way to his six and let loose my riata.......I mean Lewis, and sent him down in flames!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/25/1509:11 PM
Originally Posted By: MFair
Ok, so today while roping a cow, with the wind in my face, I saw myself as a winged aviator sitting in his Sopwith Triplane and my quarry was an Albatross scout. I made my way to his six and let loose my riata.......I mean Lewis, and sent him down in flames!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/25/1510:53 PM
Originally Posted By: DukeIronHand
Aye! And aye to more drinks. Starting to get crowded in here. How much barmy can a thread hold?
"Iff it shouldt gett too crowded, you can all come into my headt, meine Herren - there is sooo much empty space in there, that you couldt still gett loszt! Mmuahahahahaaa""
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/26/1504:21 PM
Originally Posted By: MFair
The aftermath of being accepted into BOC
MFair, I love that classic style chapeau you are wearing! Reminds me of an old Tom Mix movie! The whole outfit, pants and boots fit the same look! Very nice in deed sir! Just one thing out of place! That Jack Daniels should read "Rot Gut"!
Oh well, can't blame you for choosing a better tasting poison!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/26/1505:11 PM
Originally Posted By: Olham
Originally Posted By: Robert_Wiggins
That Jack Daniels should read "Rot Gut"!
??? ??? ???
Olham Rot Gut was a term commonly referred to by cowboys for the very poor quality whiskey normally sold in the saloons out west. The good stuff was expensive and saloons made more profit on the cheap whiskey because most cowboys couldn't afford the good stuff.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/26/1505:19 PM
Ah, thank you - I thought it was meant to be German: both words exist in German too, and in English this would mean "red good" or "red well" - but it wouldn't make any sense.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/26/1505:26 PM
Sho... <hic!> I need another bar, drink-keeper <hic>! I mean, another drink, beerkeep! err...<HIC!>
shish we've been handin' out theesh fanshy BOC badges'n'shtuff, err.. how cn these poor daft sots show'em off? Over at CA? We got shome trick to mirror threads?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/26/1505:50 PM
Originally Posted By: Robert_Wiggins
Originally Posted By: MFair
The aftermath of being accepted into BOC
MFair, I love that classic style chapeau you are wearing! Reminds me of an old Tom Mix movie! The whole outfit, pants and boots fit the same look! Very nice in deed sir! Just one thing out of place! That Jack Daniels should read "Rot Gut"!
Oh well, can't blame you for choosing a better tasting poison!
Thank you Robert. I so love the old west look. If you can't be a real cowboy at least you can look like one!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/26/1506:55 PM
Originally Posted By: Olham
MFair, is that really you in that chair? Quite barmy, your "uniform code"...
Yep Olham, that be me in the picture. I built an old west saloon a few years back on my place so that I could sit on the porch with a diet coke, not much of a drinker, and enjoy the sunset after a ride. One word of advice. Do not piss off the bartender, she can be double barrel mean. Love that place almost as much as WOFF!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/26/1507:00 PM
How could one piss off that lady? I mean, not only because she has a knife... Nice saloon you built there - but not drinking much in there is barmy again IMHO.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/26/1507:01 PM
I think maybe I need to build another "Flyers Bar". Anyone have any WWI aircraft memorabilia they want to donate! We could make it the official BOC Bar.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/26/1507:04 PM
Originally Posted By: Olham
How could one piss off that lady? I mean, not only because she has a knife... Nice saloon you built there - but not drinking much in there is barmy again IMHO.
Never said there was not much drinking in there. Just said "I" was not much of a drinker. Only rule was "No Rude Behavior".
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/26/1508:47 PM
Originally Posted By: Robert_Wiggins
Originally Posted By: MFair
Never said there was not much drinking in there. Just said "I" was not much of a drinker. Only rule was "No Rude Behavior".
So.....I take it the idea of saloon dancing girls is out!
That is a pretty nice Saloon you built. Is it primarily a party room?
Well if there were Robert, that bartender would be using the knife on my throat! I have entertained the idea though. We have had a few small get togethers there but mainly used to sit and ponder on the world.
To get back on topic, so to speak, if someone has a rotary engine lamp, a Fokker rudder, a few fuselage fabric scraps with serial numbers, and a gun or two. I guess we would need a Sopwith rudder also, would not want Olham to not feel welcome. I think I could come up with a dandy Officers Bar. Like I say, it could be the Official BOC Meeting House. A piano would be nice too. Can anyone in BOC bang on the ivories?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/27/1504:31 AM
MFair, that saloon is brilliant! I'd just want to sit there all day with a shotgun saying things like "Keep movin' stranger, if'n ye know what's good fer ye."
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/27/1504:54 AM
Originally Posted By: Raine
MFair, that saloon is brilliant! I'd just want to sit there all day with a shotgun saying things like "Keep movin' stranger, if'n ye know what's good fer ye."
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/29/1503:01 AM
If I ever got the chance, I'd saddle up with MFair any day. And then act like Yosemite Sam around the saloon!
Errr.. loftyc, I suggest that you review the list of qualifications at the beginning of this thread and report back with your itemized list of "barminess"! Just the fact that you're on this thread is a fair indication, but we need to be sure.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/29/1511:55 AM
Originally Posted By: Raine
MFair, that saloon is brilliant! I'd just want to sit there all day with a shotgun saying things like "Keep movin' stranger, if'n ye know what's good fer ye."
Raine and Humandrone,if you look closer at the picture there is a double barrel 12 gauge sitting next to me. I have been known to act a bit like Yosemite Sam after too many drinks but that was some time ago. Now it's more like " Grandpa" on " The Real McCoys".
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/29/1501:25 PM
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The Real McCoys, now there's a show I haven't thought of in years. By jingy-jang, best hitch up the wagon Luke, we gotta git them supplies. I'm near outta my tabakka! (As I recall Grandpa would refer to the wagon even though they actually had a pick-up truck.)
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/29/1501:32 PM
HA! I feel like Grandpa McCoy after a hard day's work, that's for sure. We sit out on our swing before we head in, and by the time I get up I've stiffened up so bad, and so many times I've fetched my arms up the way he used to and imitated him, "Well, little Luke, I guess we'd best be headin' in - if I could just get this pitchfork outta my ***!"
I don't know where you're located, but any more, with coyotes and bigger cats making a comeback, it's probably a good idea to keep a shotgun handy, maybe even just like the old West, in your saddle! Criminee, I'm in an area that's not really rural, patches of woods and housing plans, and we have coyotes here!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/29/1501:33 PM
Originally Posted By: HumanDrone
Errr.. loftyc, I suggest that you review the list of qualifications at the beginning of this thread and report back with your itemized list of "barminess"! Just the fact that you're on this thread is a fair indication, but we need to be sure.
Then, YOU buy the drinks!
Quite right HD. loftyc, you need only list a few of your 'credentials' per the charter and you will be in, likely deeper than you'll care to be.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/29/1502:03 PM
Originally Posted By: HumanDrone
HA! I feel like Grandpa McCoy after a hard day's work, that's for sure. We sit out on our swing before we head in, and by the time I get up I've stiffened up so bad, and so many times I've fetched my arms up the way he used to and imitated him, "Well, little Luke, I guess we'd best be headin' in - if I could just get this pitchfork outta my ***!"
I don't know where you're located, but any more, with coyotes and bigger cats making a comeback, it's probably a good idea to keep a shotgun handy, maybe even just like the old West, in your saddle! Criminee, I'm in an area that's not really rural, patches of woods and housing plans, and we have coyotes here!
HumanDrone,coyotes we have plenty of. You can sit on the porch and here their song every night. Black bears are making a comeback. You hear rumors of big cats but no proof. Located in the deep south USA. as for keeping a 6 shooter in the saddle, you can shoot off 4 of my 5 mounts. If you have ever tried Cowboy Mounted Shooting it is a rush! FYI, you can shoot off of any horse......Once!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/29/1502:07 PM
Originally Posted By: MFair
Originally Posted By: Raine
MFair, that saloon is brilliant! I'd just want to sit there all day with a shotgun saying things like "Keep movin' stranger, if'n ye know what's good fer ye."
Raine and Humandrone,if you look closer at the picture there is a double barrel 12 gauge sitting next to me. I have been known to act a bit like Yosemite Sam after too many drinks but that was some time ago. Now it's more like " Grandpa" on " The Real McCoys".
I noticed the "coach gun" as I call it. Does it have side hammers or is it a box lock?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/29/1503:58 PM
Originally Posted By: MFair
Originally Posted By: HumanDrone
HA! I feel like Grandpa McCoy after a hard day's work, that's for sure. We sit out on our swing before we head in, and by the time I get up I've stiffened up so bad, and so many times I've fetched my arms up the way he used to and imitated him, "Well, little Luke, I guess we'd best be headin' in - if I could just get this pitchfork outta my ***!"
I don't know where you're located, but any more, with coyotes and bigger cats making a comeback, it's probably a good idea to keep a shotgun handy, maybe even just like the old West, in your saddle! Criminee, I'm in an area that's not really rural, patches of woods and housing plans, and we have coyotes here!
HumanDrone,coyotes we have plenty of. You can sit on the porch and here their song every night. Black bears are making a comeback. You hear rumors of big cats but no proof. Located in the deep south USA. as for keeping a 6 shooter in the saddle, you can shoot off 4 of my 5 mounts. If you have ever tried Cowboy Mounted Shooting it is a rush! FYI, you can shoot off of any horse......Once!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/29/1504:25 PM
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All this talk of horses and the earlier mention of Yosemite Sam reminded me of the following cartoon. While Sam is showing off his riding and handling skills vis-ŕ-vis a 'ship of the desert', (and an elephant), I've a hunch he applies the same methods to horses.
Gawd, these old cartoons still make me split a side!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/29/1506:05 PM
Lou,that took me back a few years. Saturday morning cartoon with my brothers. Robert,too funny, and I don't recall which one I had with me on that day as I have one hammered and one box lock. Down south only the short ones we call coach guns.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/29/1507:39 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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All this talk of horses and the earlier mention of Yosemite Sam reminded me of the following cartoon. While Sam is showing off his riding and handling skills vis-ŕ-vis a 'ship of the desert', (and an elephant), I've a hunch he applies the same methods to horses.
<clipped video>
Gawd, these old cartoons still make me split a side!
.
You ain't just kidding! They are about the best ever made, I just roar with laughter. Do you recall some group of handkerchief-wringing busybodies getting their knickers all twisted up about how violent they were?
So now we have Dragonball-Z and the like... what an improvement...
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/18/1508:14 PM
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But Banjoman, what are your qualifications?
HEE HAW! It's most definitely an "aye" from me. Vice President Olham, Vice President Dej, what say either or both of you? Members of questionable standing, what say any or all of you? Is this man barmy enough?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/18/1508:32 PM
He spends too much time thinking about WOFF.... that is good enough for me, a questionable member, often questioned by SWMBO when I explain what I DiD today
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/18/1508:41 PM
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"what I DiD today" - that one made me laugh out loud, MudWasp. Did She Who Must Be Obeyed find the humour in it? (he asked knowing full well what the answer was)
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/18/1508:51 PM
I got just enough accomplished around the old shack that SWMBO didn't bat an eye.
Speaking of shacks....MFair....I didn't see those pics of yours until today. Mighty Fine club house Hey, do you shoot a black powder percussion cap revolver, or ever done so? I like them once in awhile. on the chaps and hat
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/18/1509:25 PM
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Originally Posted By: Banjoman
If accepted, I promise to fly under a towel or blanket while wearing two sweaters.
All well and good, but will you also set up a small fan to blow regular spritzes of castor oil, supplied by a cobbled windshield washer/nozzle assembly, into your face as you fly your WOFF sorties? Hmmmmmmmm?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/18/1509:48 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
Vice President Olham, Vice President Dej, what say either or both of you? Members of questionable standing, what say any or all of you? Is this man barmy enough?
Well, Lou,after this question you spent most of the time talking about "banjos". Even "duelling banjos"! That should be barmy enough, even without any WOFF in it. So let's make him a member, and let's hope he knows the other word with "b": "Binge"! I hope you have taken enough money off your bank account for one, Banjoman?!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/18/1510:57 PM
Anyone who wears two sweaters gets the ok from me!
Mudwasp,if it concerns black powder, I have set it off. Rifles, smooth bores, pistols, cannons, cohorn mortars, and a few home made things back when you could do such things without getting a call from a government agency.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/18/1511:00 PM
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Two sweaters - too true, MFair.
MudWasp, I've been on the hunt for just the right old wicker chair for my 'cockpit'. Still hunting, but then that is half the fun.
Olham, I agree, the previous diversion does indicate barmyness to be sure. And then of course there is the mere fact that he wants to be a member of our group. So be it.
Banjoman, welcome to the Barmy OFFers Club! A tab has been started at the bar on your behalf and we're already making use of it. Drinks on the Banjoman - BWOC BWOC BWOC! As soon as Robert gets here with the cricket bat the ceremonial beating can begin.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/18/1511:12 PM
MFair, do you have a cannon?
I get a kick out of having fun on the 4th of July. Don't have a proper historical type cannon, justy hillbilly rig something for fun. I love that old green fuse that burns underwater....love hate with the beavers...
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/18/1511:38 PM
Hahaha, I'm finally home. I love listening to Earl Scruggs and Steve Martin play the banjo. In case you didn't know this, but Earl Scruggs wrote Foggy Mountain Breakdown.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/19/1512:09 AM
Originally Posted By: MudWasp
MFair, do you have a cannon?
I get a kick out of having fun on the 4th of July. Don't have a proper historical type cannon, justy hillbilly rig something for fun. I love that old green fuse that burns underwater....love hate with the beavers...
I used to have a Naval 2 pounder. That is until the sheriff drove up and told me he had reports of someone "shooting off heavy artillery". I told him that it was not me because my cannon was only a 2 pounder. He was not amused. While it was not illegal I quit so that I would not piss off whoever it was I had upset. Mind you this is way out in the country. Sold it to a fellow that does pyrotechnic shows. A friend that passed away a few years back had 9 Rev. War cannons and mortars. Not originals. Don't know what happened to his collection, but we really drew a crowd at the range.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/19/1512:24 AM
I've flown under the radar for police/sheriffs.... for my hillbilly antics, or beaver control hijinks. Love to be at the front porch of your watering hole on the 4thh..... can't make it happen tho....
Sad what happens to originals...go collect dust....they often do.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/19/1501:56 AM
Originally Posted By: Banjoman
MFair, you live in Mississippi, I'm surprised you had problems with your small cannon. I guess times have changes and not for the better.
That was 28 years ago. It does make a pretty loud boom to chunk a 2 lb. ball. We made our ammo from Campbell's soup cans. Filled them with quick crete. Whala, instant projectile.
At a living history event on a big lake in Tennessee years ago we asked the Ranger where we could shoot the cannon. No projectiles mind you. He said, "out over the lake". When we asked about the bass boats he said, "Oh!, you better lead them pretty good!" We all had a good laugh.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/19/1502:25 AM
Originally Posted By: MudWasp
I'll take..... a hard apple cider.... I like the fizz
ME too! Dang, I missed all the fun. Now a guy that can pick a banjo well...
Still, you guys are too easy. I wanted a pic of him flying with a towel draped over his head and monitor!
Lou, I see you found the cricket bat! MFair, wish we could still have a blast at your place. I settle for "works bombs" now and then... he that hath ears to hear...
WELCOME, Banjoman! Glad I could be a small part of it!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/19/1510:19 AM
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Cavaliere57, you need only give us a few specific instances of your barmyness and we will be happy to consider your application. As example, I actually do have a WWI French uniforme de pilote d'avion standing in my flying room.
So, don't be shy, share some of your barmy with us and we can welcome yet another new member into our illustrious cadre.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/19/1512:37 PM
Here you go MudWast,shooting some kind of explosive with a AR at 20 yards. It looked like those green night sticks that pack packers used with some sort of detination cord around it.
Edit, Seem the sound is out of sync but you get the idea.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/20/1502:38 AM
Lou, I think your collection is unrivaled!
MFair, nothing like a good blast for some fun. Guys just have to blow thing up, it seems. As long as nobody gets hurt!
Now where's our barmy Italian applicant? Lou's still warmed up from his last round with the cricket bat, and the rest of us just want to get all gooned up again.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/20/1504:06 AM
I would like to line up (for the cricket bat) and report for duty.
A few points that I believe make me eligible to belong to this esteemed group include but are not limited to:
Whenever I get into a car I turn the steering wheel to make sure the ailerons are working.
Much to the enjoyment of my son but consternation of my girlfriend, I am unable to resist making daka daka sounds when over taking trucks (two seaters)on the road.
When drunk, if I fall over, I get back to my feet saying "Any landing you walk away from..."
There is a bridge across a river that divides the city where I live. Once I cross that bridge I start to keep a sharp eye out as I'm now in enemy territory; my ex wife lives there
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/20/1511:00 AM
I think you have to leave 2 bottles of Lou's preferred adult beverage , one in each boot of his WWI pilots uniform , with all your credentials. I think. With all this partying it's getting hard to remember!
But I agree, you got it bad.....ain't it great! To Mistress's, Wifes, and Girlfriends. May they never meet!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/21/1502:40 AM
I was a member of the Barmy OFFer's from the old forum. Does the membership still apply even iff'n you fly in another simulator, and you haven't been active lately with this or the other forum?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/21/1503:03 AM
Yeah I'm inflicting my WWI obsession on the crew at FlightGear nowadays. I've even got a psuedo historical WWI mod I'm developing for Belfort-Chaux, and just recently put in an airfield at Corcieux.
I think my fellow forum Airliner jocks don't get me. but they seem to like my screen shots.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/21/1509:57 AM
OK this is my "cockpit apparel",but only for good weather situations,and my "flying machine" as well as my "observer" with her "mouthpiece" on.If you wanna see a collection of empty wine bottles also (and other various alcoholic liquids) just ask me! Is that enough? P.S. Sub/Sub Lieutenant Amanda,she's my granddaughter.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/21/1512:10 PM
Nice collection of guitars there. Not that I can play one. Didn't Johnny 'Alliday 'ave a 'Arley? (my wife is allowed to make jokes about him as she is French herself but not a lover of yé yé music. (hope I got the accents right )
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/21/1508:23 PM
I would vote for you if those were banjos, but guitars I just don't know. I'm kidding, you have my vote. Your grand daughter is cute, I've never seen anyone on a Harley with a pacifier.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/21/1511:21 PM
Originally Posted By: JimAttrill
Nice collection of guitars there. Not that I can play one. Didn't Johnny 'Alliday 'ave a 'Arley? (my wife is allowed to make jokes about him as she is French herself but not a lover of yé yé music. (hope I got the accents right )
I don't know about Hallyday really,he was never my piece of cake,I play Jazz and Blues mainly But yes "ye ye" music was definitely a thing of the sixties
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/21/1511:26 PM
Originally Posted By: Banjoman
I would vote for you if those were banjos, but guitars I just don't know. I'm kidding, you have my vote. Your grand daughter is cute, I've never seen anyone on a Harley with a pacifier.
A friend of mine has a Bluegrass Band,guitar double bass mandolin banjo harp,good stuff,I can play something on a Banjo ,but I'm not very good in it,to be honest. ah..ah... you cannot really take the pacifier out of Amanda's mouth,without risking your life!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/22/1505:12 AM
Originally Posted By: Cavaliere57
OK this is my "cockpit apparel",but only for good weather situations,and my "flying machine" as well as my "observer" with her "mouthpiece" on.If you wanna see a collection of empty wine bottles also (and other various alcoholic liquids) just ask me! Is that enough?
Nice pics, Cavaliere! Yes, I think you are barmy enough for the club. Let's hear what the president will say.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/22/1506:03 PM
CAN'T WE JUST GET TO THE (virtual)DRINKING?!?!
Cavalier, I'd give my eyeteeth to have been able to help with one of my granddaughters. What her mother & a couple others in my circle have done to that girl is just about enough to get me swinging, and I mean "bar room roundhouse" style. Make the most of it.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/22/1509:01 PM
Originally Posted By: HumanDrone
CAN'T WE JUST GET TO THE (virtual)DRINKING?!?!
Cavalier, I'd give my eyeteeth to have been able to help with one of my granddaughters. What her mother & a couple others in my circle have done to that girl is just about enough to get me swinging, and I mean "bar room roundhouse" style. Make the most of it.
I'm doing it,and will keep on doing,don't worry... And yes let's go to the drinking...
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/22/1509:01 PM
Originally Posted By: Olham
Originally Posted By: Cavaliere57
OK this is my "cockpit apparel",but only for good weather situations,and my "flying machine" as well as my "observer" with her "mouthpiece" on.If you wanna see a collection of empty wine bottles also (and other various alcoholic liquids) just ask me! Is that enough?
Nice pics, Cavaliere! Yes, I think you are barmy enough for the club. Let's hear what the president will say.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/23/1512:25 AM
Hi Maeran,
That's a snazzy looking one? is it for WOFF?
I can't say the Shorthorn is all mine, as it owes a bit of it's 3D and textures to Fighter Squadron WWI, but I made the Renault 8C for it and the improved interior and the Renault 12C for the Biz A version, I'm also making a Voison LA III and a H-Farman 20.
I like really old WWI Lattice tail planes. You can't get any barmier than that.
It's kind of a shame 'cause OFF has both Belfort and Belfort-Chaux and they were both M-Farman aerodromes of great reputation, and I'd love to fly a Farman squad out of Belfort.
Does anyone know if WOFF has MF-25's aerodrome at Vadelaincourt?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/23/1501:07 AM
I like WOFFing with grandkids.
M O O N ....that spells fun with Grandkids, small fires, speared frogs, and BB guns. Showings animal tracks in the mud.... teaching them to hunt and shoot.
Can't wait till they come for two weeks this summer... We will have fun.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/23/1507:55 AM
Originally Posted By: MudWasp
Cavalier57, I like seeing you air dry your long selve shirts.
Good on you for raising them !
Second duty ya didn't expect. Gotta love a good motor bike too....why Harley for you?
Because I love V twins,always been a "Vtwin kind of biker",I had mainly Ducatis ( yes I was a Sport Motorbiker) some Aprilias,a wonderfull Cagiva Raptor,even a Moto Guzzi many years ago...and I like HD bikes since ages,they are the "essence" of a motorcYcle. It has come now because I am more a relaxed biker these days,I am done with mad runs on mountain passes,and all that adrenaline stuff,I just glide and take it easy now,still like going for turning and bending roads but with nonchalance,with style I would say.....
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/23/1510:34 AM
Originally Posted By: Smosh
I would like to line up (for the cricket bat) and report for duty.
A few points that I believe make me eligible to belong to this esteemed group include but are not limited to:
Whenever I get into a car I turn the steering wheel to make sure the ailerons are working.
Much to the enjoyment of my son but consternation of my girlfriend, I am unable to resist making daka daka sounds when over taking trucks (two seaters)on the road.
When drunk, if I fall over, I get back to my feet saying "Any landing you walk away from..."
There is a bridge across a river that divides the city where I live. Once I cross that bridge I start to keep a sharp eye out as I'm now in enemy territory; my ex wife lives there
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/23/1511:27 AM
Originally Posted By: Lewis
Hi Maeran,
That's a snazzy looking one? is it for WOFF?
That would be a fine ambition. I don't know how to do that (yet). This one is intended for FSX. I've built it in accordance with the requirements for FSX so it should appear at least.
Originally Posted By: Lewis
I can't say the Shorthorn is all mine, as it owes a bit of it's 3D and textures to Fighter Squadron WWI, but I made the Renault 8C for it and the improved interior and the Renault 12C for the Biz A version, I'm also making a Voison LA III and a H-Farman
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/23/1508:41 PM
Thanks CatKnight, I have to say they're inspired by the work Pol and the other 3D artists have put into OFF and WOFF.
Maybe this is too barmy, but... Has anyone tried porting in the Bleriot Militaire-2 that's available for CFS3, into OFF or WOFF? It would fill a small gap in early war aircraft.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/23/1509:02 PM
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Alrighty Gents, I am at last back in camp and have some time to catch up on the goings on here.
Cavaliere57 and Smosh, both of you have presented credentials of impeccable barmyness and I say “Aye!” to each of you.
Lewis, as has been stated already, once a member always a member. And those are some gorgeous planes you’ve built there, only a barmy individual would spend so much time on such a project. To your question: I have brought the Bleriot into OFF and it worked fine, so I am betting it would work in WOFF as well. However, I don’t believe the devs can incorporate it officially into WOFF as it is not their property.
Maeran, that MF Shorthorn of yours is a beauty as well and is one of the planes I would very much like to see added to WOFF. Also, you appear to be one cylinder short of a rotary too, perhaps you’d like to become one of the daft, the touched, the barmy.
loftyc, some time back you asked about becoming a member of the BOC. As I noted then, you need only list a few of your qualifications.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/24/1509:38 AM
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Time to make it all official then. Listen up you lot! We welcome two more into our ranks as both Cavaliere57 and Smosh, after displaying lapses in good judgement and common sense by asking to join our cadre, are now indeed gentlemen of questionable standing and shall be treated as such. BARKEEP! Two more bar tabs have just been created and must be abused, as must their soon-to-be debtors. Robert, the cricket bat if you will. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/24/1510:30 AM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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Time to make it all official then. Listen up you lot! We welcome two more into our ranks as both Cavaliere57 and Smosh, after displaying lapses in good judgement and common sense by asking to join our cadre, are now indeed gentlemen of questionable standing and shall be treated as such. BARKEEP! Two more bar tabs have just been created and must be abused, as must their soon-to-be debtors. Robert, the cricket bat if you will. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
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And may I add, A toast to all! I feel safe in announcing that shortly it won't only be the cricket bat that is pickled!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/24/1503:40 PM
Seems I just came in at the right time! My congratulations, gentlemen, on your new memberships! And now let's see, if we can drink you dry! BWOC BWOC BWOC!!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/24/1509:01 PM
Ok this round's on my tab, you all keep clucking, I'ma gonna go outside and shout at the moon.. "..... woof, woof, woof,....Contact! ........ Woof! Woof! Woff!
But probably not all in that order, Oh, did you say order? I'll have another..
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/25/1508:20 PM
Okay, Lewis. I'll take you up on that drink. I'll be the geriatric naked chap at the bar wearing riding boots and a fez. By the way, watch out for the others around here. They're a little eccentric.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/26/1512:56 AM
Originally Posted By: Lewis
Ok this round's on my tab, you all keep clucking, I'ma gonna go outside and shout at the moon.. "..... woof, woof, woof,....Contact! ........ Woof! Woof! Woff!
But probably not all in that order, Oh, did you say order? I'll have another..
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/28/1504:45 AM
Zfmadgretz!
I thought I said shout not shout, er shooot............ now lookie, what one of youze done, Some,.... er somebodys gonna have to go up there,.......... an' spackle all those little holes, inna moon. It's not gonna be me, I'm too unsteady as,...........well I'm not standing. Fer no moon being fulla holes,.....that's just silly.
You... you just go ahead. Just go fire up the Fee, fly the hell up there, and you try an stand ona edge of the coaming and try an spackle all those bullet holes inna 70 knot wind.......inner face. While trying to spackle b, bullet holes, inna damn holey moon.
all Barmy! every single one uhya...... fer shooting up the poor moon....
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/28/1511:00 PM
Originally Posted By: Lewis
Zfmadgretz!
I thought I said shout not shout, er shooot............ now lookie, what one of youze done, Some,.... er somebodys gonna have to go up there,.......... an' spackle all those little holes, inna moon. It's not gonna be me, I'm too unsteady as,...........well I'm not standing. Fer no moon being fulla holes,.....that's just silly.
You... you just go ahead. Just go fire up the Fee, fly the hell up there, and you try an stand ona edge of the coaming and try an spackle all those bullet holes inna 70 knot wind.......inner face. While trying to spackle b, bullet holes, inna damn holey moon.
all Barmy! every single one uhya...... fer shooting up the poor moon....
You did say shout, but I read shoot... anyway, we all know how things can escalate when drunk shouting starts!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/29/1502:57 AM
...I decided to go on a twilight beer run after tilling. Ran into a goat farmer that lives nearby when I hit the Inn/Tavern Bear Lake PA. Aall on the 5's for him for me check it out...I'lll do that. A goat is nothing more than a small deer in my mind for size...but those ears like a Hound Dog. Less mowing too...I'm a good butcher...
MOON.... that spells a good beer run, hellos, and something ODD to investigate.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 05/29/1506:59 AM
Damm clouds had me down on my spear frog hunt. Then they broke so i could see better. Much is done by sound and silience, but I love spearing in the moonlight. MOON....does that spell manic? Stayed up way to long and still want to rrrRock & Roll. While I was standing on a mound in the total dark, Watchtower was Playing in my head.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/04/1505:28 AM
Tonight I'm Dancing.......but I'm quiet with headphones on... MOON is Waning...Beaver travel trough the swamp and remind me of submarines...22 worked great when the state gave me permit to do so. Trapping I didn't care for...when I kill I like to see it then and there and react to make the kill clean and quick. I don't want my prey to suffer, traps bother me some in the way death comes.
I like the swamp by moonlight... Might go Longbow...kept on my back when trident hunting frogs. Being a Granpa reminds of being a kid, I'm rusty at being a kid...have to work on that.
A tune I'm in the mood for about moons. Hope a big Harvest Moon comes my way fall, and for all of you too.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/04/1505:58 AM
....and a Nutter One..
just like stories told in song. It'll be my last MOON Spring singing... I let he bearded hen live another year, turkey season is over. I might name her/him/it Bruce or Caitlyn.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/04/1506:47 AM
Having purused the requirements of this fine club I believe I have the attributes to become one of this select band of Brothers and would therefore like to apply.
So I do not make a fool of myself during initiation please let me know,
Which trouser leg do I have to roll up?
Which nipple must be exposed?
Which dodgy handshake to apply?
And most importantly a course to steer for the Mess bar?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/04/1508:58 AM
Originally Posted By: cCromwell
Having purused the requirements of this fine club I believe I have the attributes to become one of this select band of Brothers and would therefore like to apply.
So I do not make a fool of myself during initiation please let me know,
Which trouser leg do I have to roll up?
Which nipple must be exposed?
Which dodgy handshake to apply?
And most importantly a course to steer for the Mess bar?
Many thanks in advance.
You need to post a picture of yourself wearing only underpants,and show your tongue,that's all! The Mess is half mile to the NorthWest,in case of fog we blow a horn.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/04/1511:25 AM
First may I say that the wearing of the underpants is no problem. I may wait until July before submitting pictures as I put the pants in the Wash in June and therefore shall be pantless until they dry.
My flying of WOFF will also have to be curtailled during the washing/drying process as I fly by the seat of my pants and without the said smalls flying would be downright dangerous and fool hardy.
As for WOFF barmeyness, I could cite that it took me over a year before taking the plunge and purchasing it.
I have been trying to navigate the WOFF world using maps from "Flying Corp Gold". Did not go too well.
Tried to taxi into a hangar...court marshall is up next Monday
Shot my own tail off whilst flying as gunner...Court marshall is up next Tuesday
Wanted to see what happened if I parked my aircraft in front of a train....Court marshall is up next Wednesday
Took a phone call on my mobile during finals told caller I was landing an aeroplane and I would call back. Then flew into a tree....Court marshall is up next Thursday. Later found out the caller was my Mother-in-Law
Using the same MS force Feed back that I purchased over 12 years ago
Do not use TIR
Hope that gives a measure of my unproffesional barmyness.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/04/1512:04 PM
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Yes - yes, I'd say your credentials are quite in order. VP Olham is currently on vacation but will be returning soon, and VP Dej is on secret assignment somewhere but does drop in occasionally. That being the case, I will ask for a show of hands from fellow BOC members. What say you lot - is this man barmy or what? "Aye" says I!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/04/1512:13 PM
Originally Posted By: cCromwell
First may I say that the wearing of the underpants is no problem. I may wait until July before submitting pictures as I put the pants in the Wash in June and therefore shall be pantless until they dry.
My flying of WOFF will also have to be curtailled during the washing/drying process as I fly by the seat of my pants and without the said smalls flying would be downright dangerous and fool hardy.
As for WOFF barmeyness, I could cite that it took me over a year before taking the plunge and purchasing it.
I have been trying to navigate the WOFF world using maps from "Flying Corp Gold". Did not go too well.
Tried to taxi into a hangar...court marshall is up next Monday
Shot my own tail off whilst flying as gunner...Court marshall is up next Tuesday
Wanted to see what happened if I parked my aircraft in front of a train....Court marshall is up next Wednesday
Took a phone call on my mobile during finals told caller I was landing an aeroplane and I would call back. Then flew into a tree....Court marshall is up next Thursday. Later found out the caller was my Mother-in-Law
Using the same MS force Feed back that I purchased over 12 years ago
Do not use TIR
Hope that gives a measure of my unproffesional barmyness.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/04/1508:09 PM
Pictures are definitely required Lou, the man has to prove: a) that he has a washing machine; b) that his underpants can fly it. Alternatively, an enormous bar bill trumps all and the rubber's his. Give 'im 'is badge.
*Addressing the barman of the bofficers' mess... A pint of Adnam's Broadside for me, Trevor. On the new guy, the one with the stutter.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/04/1508:17 PM
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Ah, very good! Dej has dropped by and given the second official "Oaky Doaky" required by our constitution for acceptance into our most honoured and venerable society - gawd, was that hard to say with a straight face - so then, cCromewll, welcome to the BOC. A bar tab has been started in your name and is already being abused, much as you will be once Robert has the cricket bat properly readied.
BARKEEP! A pint a' red and two fingers of the most expensive single malt you have on the shelf, all on cCromwell's tab. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/04/1508:45 PM
Originally Posted By: DukeIronHand
Another bar tab! And the ritual spanking! Another fine night in the OFF'ing...
Ah, yes... the spanking. *Wipes eye nostalgically* Almost tempted to join all over again. Just like school... Brookfields boy, if you know what one means.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/04/1508:59 PM
Thank you for including me as one of your esteemed club. I too have partaken of the ale known as Adnams Broadside, I hope the bar also carrys Woodfords Nelsons Revenge...please remember he usually has his revenge about 3am. Underpants will definatly need washing.
Thank you also for opening my bar tab...and for testing it out....frequently by all accounts. Please advise me when I am expected to pay it....I will ensure it is paid once my Granny has accepted my sob story of the Squadron Dog needing a false leg and has forwarded the required funds.
I hope the cricket bat has been well oiled...if they are not oiled they have a tendency to split, this can effect the stroke and worse leave splinters,...I know this as I went to public school. Yes Dezh...I was that boy.
Let us all remember we are officers and Gentlmen and should behave as such. Therefore I will NOT be submitting photographs of myself in a state of undress as 1) I do not wish to overshadow my fellow mess members 2) Over excite any Lady members and 3) Add to the charges of my court marshall case which is up next Friday. How was I to know she was Haig's Grandaughter? I only asked if she wanted to see my Pitot Tube.
I now retire to my room to work out new excuses for dodging tomorrows missions....and mess bill.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/04/1509:29 PM
Originally Posted By: cCromwell
I hope the cricket bat has been well oiled...if they are not oiled they have a tendency to split, this can effect the stroke and worse leave splinters,...I know this as I went to public school. Yes Dezh...I was that boy.
Oh, not to worry cCromwell. The cricket bat has spent a fortnight in my pickling vat owing to needing a proper stirring stick. I have wiped it down properly and applied a judicious amount of castor oil from the stores. It should hold out well. At least as well as you I suspect!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/05/1506:38 PM
On that subject we need a theme song for the BOC parties. Many squadrons had a song. BJM? Something on the banjo barmy enough to be the official club song?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/06/1512:38 AM
There is no question that some of you guys have actually had whiskey before breakfast, so with that in mind I present to you guys the most appropriate banjo song for our illustrious group. Gentlemen, I present to you 'Whiskey before Breakfast' played by the awesome David Hum.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/06/1512:48 AM
Cavalier57 thanks for posting that video. Love the Massey Fergs and the gathering spot to play. Not much different than my shack in the woods...except it's just me calling the owls and singing a sad croaking frog blues song.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/06/1512:57 AM
Heck, I've had fresh from the pressure cooker and mixed it in with my morning omelette and Cup-a-Joe. Blackberry blossoms are showing...got my picking spots lined up. Hope I don't run into that white striped belly black bear. I pack defensive weapons...sometimes it is just my knife. ....Note to self...Remember the 454 when berry picking in a couple of months
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/06/1509:17 AM
Originally Posted By: MudWasp
Cavalier57 thanks for posting that video. Love the Massey Fergs and the gathering spot to play. Not much different than my shack in the woods...except it's just me calling the owls and singing a sad croaking frog blues song.
ahaha...greattt!!! I suppose the Owls are a bit scared....don't wanna know about the Frogs,any frenchmen in here could take it bad!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/06/1509:21 AM
Originally Posted By: Banjoman
There is no question that some of you guys have actually had whiskey before breakfast, so with that in mind I present to you guys the most appropriate banjo song for our illustrious group. Gentlemen, I present to you 'Whiskey before Breakfast' played by the awesome David Hum.
Not whiskey at breakfast over here,just "Grappa"....anyway have a go at htese nice guys!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/06/1506:09 PM
Gentlemen,
We do actually have a BOC Song, and if animated signatures were allowed on these fora, you'd have seen it already. To the tune of 'What shall we do with the Drunken Sailor'
What shall we do with the Barmy Airman? What shall we do with the Barmy Airman? Seems to us it's only fair, man... Put 'im in the B. O. C.
'Contact! Clear!' And the engine's started... 'Contact! Clear!' And the engine's started... Fifteen feet and he flies inverted, Barmy as can be!
Upside down, sets off for action... Upside down, sets off for action... Clears the trees by the merest fraction, Utter lunacy!
Strictly speaking the line should read 'Contact! tink... tink... tink... Clear!' but there were always arguments about the punctuation so we dropped it to reduce the mess damages bill.
Not saying it couldn't benefit from a banjo though...
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/06/1509:02 PM
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Quite right Dej, old man, I was hoping you would introduce our new members to our official club song, which you so cleverly penned many moon ago. Numerous verses have been added to the original over the course of time and with the inspiration of much drink. Several of the more popular additions are as follows:
Can't recall where his common sense is... Can't recall where his common sense is... Even flirts with titanium fences, Totally barmy!
Strafes balloons, every one he passes... Strafes balloons, every one he passes... Lights his fag off the burning gases A barmy man is he!
When he dies send him off to Fiji... When he dies send him off to Fiji... Clouds he's tried, says "No more for me, gee!" A barmy R.I.P.!
And a banjo accompaniment? That could work quite well and would be in keeping with the general barmyness of the place.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/06/1510:02 PM
Egad! Both Lou and I forgot the bally chorus, which used to be:
Hoo-ray and up he rises, Hoo-ray and up he rises, Hoo-ray and up he rises, He's a Barmy OFFer!
But if I recall correctly the last line was changed to BWOC! BWOC! BWOC!, accompanied by energetic flapping movements... the mating cry of the male dodo, so it's been said.
For newer members that's also the origin of the ostrich feather bustle we wear on Founder's Day... or would if the Founders had anything better than an alcohol-fogged recollection of when that was and thus could tell everyone else!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/06/1510:17 PM
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GASP! Dej, how could we have forgotten the chorus?! Actually, I can sort out pretty simply how we managed it, as it's the same reason we can't recall when our Founder's Day is - or was. Twas? Really, it's amazing we've remembered all the verses we have. Oh, and I believe it was six repeats of "BWOC!" as it was determined to be more rhythmically pleasing and allowed for more flapping.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 06/24/1507:42 PM
I was checking out the clouds today while driving. These were sweet looking low cumulus, black edged or mostly black against a sky blue with high white toppers. Almost as good as WOFF. Might have been as sweet to look at if my pickup could fly.
Was exploring a backway i hadn't been on since many years past. Flood waters from a beaver damm break washed it out years ago. It was abandoned, but recently reopened. Knew it snaked some along the tributary and felt like i was headed in the wrong direction....
Looked for a compass in my cockpit! My old Ford Ranger has no compass....
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/10/1611:19 AM
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Greeting All,
What with the pending arrival of our spiffing new club pins I though it a good idea to bump this thread for those of you who are not yet members of the Barmy OFFers Club and are thinking to yourselves, "Hmmmmm, I wonder what I must do to become part of such a questionable lot of lunatics?" For those who are having such a lapse of sound judgement you need only go to the first post in this thread and read through our club charter and submit your qualifications for consideration. And if you would like a deeper history of the BOC, take the following link back to the days of yore:
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/10/1610:24 PM
To the President or whoever the heck is in charge of this BOC, I've got somethin' to settle with somebody! So you're telling me, here I've been freezin' my you know what off, flappin' around over enemy lines for over an hour, Archie aimed directly at me, I'm sure, dodging flocks of Albitrii, I get back to base and my head mechanic counted 35 holes in my kite, that's way too many and one came in way too close to what I was sitting on. So you're telling me that some desk jockey, up the chain of command who's never even heard an explosion, has lost my BOC application! Where is that no-good lout? So to heck with that, drinks are on me, I'm going to make up a batch of what I think I'll call Rattlesnake-sting, since I'm the only Yank in this here squadron, and being from New Mexico USA, I've done some serious and absolutely outside international law border crossings to be able to acquire a much needed addition to Rattlesnake-sting, loading this batch up with tequila, what we call water down here, we'll see how you fellas' like it! Drinks on me, and when I catch up to that lazy-assed desk jockey I'll give him an Out-west howdy he won't likely forget! Not too much on your lingo over here, but can you be barmier than barmy? There was this time. . . . Oh well, drinks on me and send me two pins and I'll probably send a check via usmail. Steve
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/10/1611:10 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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Are you such an individual? Do you lack the grip on reality it takes to become one of the BOC? If you think you qualify then we encourage you to apply for membership in this less than illustrious yet somehow elite group of halfwits. Read through our charter and post your qualifications below. Prove to us just how round-the-bend you are for OFF and you too can have your name added to our 'Roll Call Of The Barmy'. Dues will be collected in the club bar on the first Saturday of each month, (and if you believe for even a moment that there actually is a club bar you are closer to qualifying for membership in the BOC than you might realize).
Errr, it's high time that I too make a request to humbly join your ranks... seeing as this sim now totally dominates my spare time!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/11/1612:23 AM
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HarryH, we'd be glad to have you, and while I've no doubt you are barmy enough when it comes to WOFF could you provide us with a few examples of your particular barmyness?
SteveW, you are barmy, and in particular when it comes to someone supposedly losing your BOC application. I have checked our records carefully and there is no such application on file anywhere, and as I am the President of the BOC I take umbrage, UMBRAGE I SAY, at your erroneous accusations! However, as I am a forgive and forget sort, I say "AYE!" to you becoming a member of our royal disorder. And I will be happy to give the Rattlesnake-sting a shot, or two or three. And be assured that all neophyte BOC members are beaten equally with the cricket bat and without malice, and any previously mentioned accusations you may have cast at certain club officers will not be remembered during the initiation ceremonies. No really, trust me.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/11/1601:52 AM
Accepted. Now when I say 'Thank you sir, may I have another', I won't be talking about that overgrown flyswatter you call a cricket bat, I'll be calling out for another snork of Rattlesnake-sting. Those 35 holes in my kite got me to thinking, , ,Forget it. 'Thank you sir, may I have another'. Now look, fellas, I know we can polish this whole tub of sting off, and that little topping I added, I don't remember what else I put in there, is the real deal, none of this Jose Cuervo stuff, I wrangled Hornitos and it packs a wallop. 'What, I'm on 6:00am patrol?'. 'Thank you sir, may I have another?' 'Who's going to eat the worm?' Lou, I've pulled your wing position tomorrow, look for me at your 4, I'll keep an eye on your backside. And Lou I didn't say you lost my application, positive it was some useless administrative type up the chain of command. But maybe you just 'misplaced' it, perhaps that day you were (stealing directly from Derek Robinson, the barmiest of all) shooting rats under the office floor. No? Oh well. I think I'll just roll my way to my bunk, it's close to six already. Steve
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/11/1604:07 AM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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HarryH, we'd be glad to have you, and while I've no doubt you are barmy enough when it comes to WOFF could you provide us with a few examples of your particular barmyness?
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Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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HarryH, we'd be glad to have you, and while I've no doubt you are barmy enough when it comes to WOFF could you provide us with a few examples of your particular barmyness?
SteveW, you are barmy, and in particular when it comes to someone supposedly losing your BOC application. I have checked our records carefully and there is no such application on file anywhere, and as I am the President of the BOC I take umbrage, UMBRAGE I SAY, at your erroneous accusations! However, as I am a forgive and forget sort, I say "AYE!" to you becoming a member of our royal disorder. And I will be happy to give the Rattlesnake-sting a shot, or two or three. And be assured that all neophyte BOC members are beaten equally with the cricket bat and without malice, and any previously mentioned accusations you may have cast at certain club officers will not be remembered during the initiation ceremonies. No really, trust me.
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[quote=RAF_Louvert].
Yes indeed! I will be back with a comprehensive set of examples in due course.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/17/1612:21 AM
May I join? I 'do' the scraps of paper bit to keep track of claims and the PC shares space with many books of WWI aircraft. I keep my 'Legends of the Ring' book handy, too! When I fly lots of Wagner's music goes though my head. I love it when the 'Fat Lady' sings!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/17/1601:32 AM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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HarryH, we'd be glad to have you, and while I've no doubt you are barmy enough when it comes to WOFF could you provide us with a few examples of your particular barmyness?
SteveW, you are barmy, and in particular when it comes to someone supposedly losing your BOC application. I have checked our records carefully and there is no such application on file anywhere, and as I am the President of the BOC I take umbrage, UMBRAGE I SAY, at your erroneous accusations! However, as I am a forgive and forget sort, I say "AYE!" to you becoming a member of our royal disorder. And I will be happy to give the Rattlesnake-sting a shot, or two or three. And be assured that all neophyte BOC members are beaten equally with the cricket bat and without malice, and any previously mentioned accusations you may have cast at certain club officers will not be remembered during the initiation ceremonies. No really, trust me.
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I discussed this with my wife and she heartily agreed that I was indeed "Barmy". She reminded me of the following points;
I can’t venture outdoors unless I’m wearing my Track-IR-enabled baseball cap. Without it I lose all peripheral vision and my neck seems strangely locked in place. My wife says that the silver reflectors look silly. So be it.
I own a Fokker DR1, bright red, 5.6 litre Mercedes engine license plate "RDBNZ". My wife says it’s a red benz sports car but little does she know that this is a cunning disguise for the “Red Baron’s”! I don’t want to spoil her fantasy.
I spend more time tweaking the settings of my graphics card and PC in order to wring out the last drop of visual glory from WOFF than I do sleeping. My wife says I even snore when I'm doing it, too.
My co-workers keep asking what that classical music piece is that I’m constantly humming. I say it's a symphony of the heavens and they are none the wiser.
When a new patch for WOFF is announced I have anxiety symptoms until I can get back to my machine and update it.
I keep looking down and expect to see treetops. Weird when there’s only pavement. Then I look for Lou’s map to confirm where in F!@#$s I must be!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/17/1611:11 AM
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ARUP, anyone who enjoys flying WOFF whilest listening to classical music is a barmy man after my own heart, (as several of my videos I have on YouTube can attest to).
HarryH, an impressively barmy list. The DR1 red Mercedes with the vanity plate is the topper though. Well done!
So gentlemen of the BOC, (and as always the term 'gentlemen' is said with tongue planted firmly in cheek), we have two more candidates to vote in. "Aye!" says I to both hapless victims.
"And where is Maeran with his list?" I wonders to me self.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/17/1611:24 AM
(The Barmy Baron from Berlin, who had missed 24 pages of barmification whilst sleeping it off, comes crawling out from under the table...) "Vott? New membersz? Tell zem dat zey muszt buy all der roundsz tonite - and zen let zem join der Club...! Ein Prosit! Ein Prosit!! Ein Prooo - ooosit der Gemütlichkeit...!" (Falls back under the table).
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/17/1601:00 PM
Aye! Aye! says I, Let them fly! Over to the Bar where they can buy! A round or two for you and I! because at the moment I am feeling quite dry! and on that note I will decry, the cricket bat needs some polish so I must fly!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/17/1601:34 PM
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Now who can argue with that? I think we're all indebted to Robert_Wiggins for stating what needed to be said. I am particularly glad that these newer members are here today to hear that prose. Not only was it authentic WOFF barmyness, it expressed a lunacy little seen in this day and age. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
(a free drink at the bar for the first who can tell me from where I lifted and paraphrased the above)
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/17/1602:29 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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And what single malt scotch goodness will you be ordering Robert?
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mmmmm, let's have a dram of Lagavulin 16 from Islay! I feel like something smooth and peaty. Oh, and for educational purposes, a virtual round for all! So let's raise our glasses to the new lads, Slŕinte gu soírraidh
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/17/1602:50 PM
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Excellent choice Sir! As an aside, I still regret not having managed the jaunt across to Islay during one of my trips to Scotland in the mid-1970s. I sooooooo wanted to tour the distilleries there. I did however visit Aberfeldy and Glengoyne, so there is that.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/17/1603:15 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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Excellent Choice Sir! As an aside, I still regret not having managed the jaunt across to Islay during one of my trips to Scotland in the mid-1970s. I sooooooo wanted to tour the distilleries there. I did however visit Aberfeldy and Glengoyne, so there is that.
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OT for this thread I guess, and I am with you on one point at I have a Glengoyne 17 bottled in 2006 in my cellar at the moment (sherry and bourbon cask maturation with Light pear fruitiness, nutty character and malty nose dry finish and medium bodied) It would definitely be a distillery to visit on my list.
I suspect with your library and my cellar, many enjoyable nights could be spent in fine pleasure!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/17/1610:01 PM
Ah, the cricket bat! Yes!, well may I suggest the executive all line up now and I will toss the bat to Lou as a starter. Upon the catch, each man is to wrap his hand around the bat handle just above Lou's and the last man to place his on the cap get the first go round!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/19/1610:36 AM
An inspecting Brigadier decides to visit the psychiatric ward of an army hospital. He wants to show an interest in the unit and asks the nurse how they decide if a soldier needs to be admitted as a patient or just seen in out patients.
"Well," says the QA psychiatric nurse, "we fill the bath with water and give the squaddie a mess tin and a spoon. He is then asked to empty the bath."
"Ah I see!" exclaims the Brigadier, "A normal person would use the mess tin because it is larger and will take less time to empty the bath."
"No Sir" sighs the psychiatric nurse, "A sane person would pull the bath plug. I'll get your bed ready Sir!"
Clearly the wine is starting to get to me - more wine!!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/19/1603:01 PM
I have long been an admirer of this august company of addled aviators. I have not previously applied because I did not feel that my eccentricity was quite up to the standards of the BOC.
Yes, my girlfriend repeatedly tells me that I am quite barmy (actually, she tells me that I'm mad). I think that she is just being nice.
For your consideration, my resume; my history in aviation simulation.
Click to reveal..
WW1 Wings - The first flight sim of any sort that I had. I flew the entire campaign at least twice. I remember trying to impress a girlfriend with my flying skill. She wasn't impressed, and rightly so - I was flying entirely on the flat and making no use of altitude whatsoever. I think that is what she was getting at.
Knights of the Sky - In this excellent game I became something of an ace hunter. You would hear that an ace had been spotted at such and such an aerodrome. If you flew there you would have to fight two or three waves of enemy scouts, but then the ace would appear.
Red Baron - Briefly, before getting Red Baron II - I loved this game. It was me looking for a replacement for RB2 that led me to OFF.
Flying Corps Gold - Pretty good game, but the campaign was too short.
Dawn Patrol - I owned this for a few hours. The disc was faulty and the shop didn't have a second copy, so I never got to play it.
Other Combat Dogfight, 80 years of aerial warfare Had scenarios from WW1, WW2, Korea, Vietnam, the Falklands and Syria. I liked the first two best (you probably guessed that here).
CFS, CFS2 and CFS3 They were each good at first, but all got boring pretty quickly. I think that the campaigns of Wings and Knights of the Sky spoiled us for simpler versions.
Il2 Sturmovik, through to 1947 Excellent flight simulation.
Rowan's Battle of Britain I must admit, I had real trouble with controlling aircraft in this game. I don't know if that makes it realistic or just impossible.
B17, the mighty 8th What a campaign! Great fun. I didn't fly in the pilot's seat much. This game was for channelling my inner Yossarian.
Fighter Ace and it's WW1 version that I cannot for the life of me remember the name of I remember a fellow called CatKnight showing me a thing or two about energy fighting. I don't know if it was our CatKnight, but how many can there be?
Non Combat. Flight Simulator 98, 2000, 2002, A Century of Flight and X ACOF was my favourite. In former times I have been a pilot for three different virtual airlines. I have tried 3 times to fly from England to South Africa. Twice in a Cessna, once in the Vickers Vimy! I never got further than the Sudan. Africa, it seems is a very large place.
Most of my addon aircraft are pre1940, including a Taube, a Dolphin and a DH9.
Prior to DiD, my favourite use of OFF/WOFF time was trying to survive Bloody April in a Fee.
With DiD, my AARs have tended to go on the side of historical fiction. This has led to me extending my library in the aviation section to include several out of print books. On one occasion I went to Leeds to spend a day in the archives there because the papers of one of my DiD squad mates, Maurice Le Blanc Smith were there, and his little dog too.
I have long had a belief that the music of a time period evokes the 'feeling' of the time. Since the days of RB2, I have been as likely to hum 'Kitty the Telephone Girl' or 'The Dying Aviator' as anything in the charts.
All very mad. But is it barmy? I submit it to you gentlemen to decide.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/19/1603:39 PM
Maeran, your historical fiction, which is 1st rate, would make you Barmy enough in my book. As we say in Southeast USA, "your not mad, just a little touched!"
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/19/1604:14 PM
Originally Posted By: MFair
Maeran, your historical fiction, which is 1st rate, would make you Barmy enough in my book. As we say in Southeast USA, "your not mad, just a little touched!"
I say take him to the bar and lets begin the ceremonies!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/20/1612:36 PM
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Aaaaaaah, the ceremonies - yes indeed Robert, let's. As per our illustrious traditions, each new initiate will place themselves upside down upon the wooden school chair, perched atop a precarious pile of furniture in the Mess, with the soot-encrusted soles of their flying boots pressed firmly against the ceiling. Vice President Dej, or in his stead Robert, (or for that matter any other senior member who wishes), shall then give each initiate three whacks with the cricket bat, following which the initiate shall recite the words, "Oooh Matron! Is that a dodo in my trousers?", in an octave higher than his normal speaking voice. Upon descending from the perch each new member shall then be given a glass of Warsteiner which they will raise in salute to our assembly, saying "Per dementia ad astra!", at which we shall all down our drink in one.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/21/1612:11 PM
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As gaw1's barmyness has been discussed and determined in another current thread here I propose we move directly to the vote and the drinking thereafter. "Aye!" says I to gaw1 becoming one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/21/1603:14 PM
I'd like to petition for special status if allowed please.....a sub category to mere garden variety barminess......that of namby pamby, a distinction I wear with pride!!! 1st round's on me......nuts, for those of you snack inclined, are in the barmy bowl by the beer barrel. Cheers all.......
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/21/1603:52 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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gaw1, good to see you embracing the namby-pamby title as it's already been bandied about at the bar. Nuts? Don't mind if I am - do.
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Lou, I would just like to draw your attention to a spelling error in your above post. You stated "bandied" when I'm sure you meant to say "brandied"! Don't be too hard on yourself! We all make mistakes!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/21/1604:04 PM
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How could I have missed that? Thanks for being a stout fellow Robert and bringing it to my attention. You could have taken a shot or two at me for being so draft, but no. Ale in ale it was a fairly small error so I'll not wine over it but rather concede that there is always rum for improvement.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/22/1609:31 AM
Hasse - I think we saw silly in the rear view mirror years ago! and has a permeatinate place at the bar. Good to see that the forum is alive and well. More wine & whiskey !!!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/29/1603:23 PM
Hello, I would like to respectively submit my application to become a member of this prestigious group of fine gentleman.
While I admit I have a long road ahead of me to achieve the Barminess of its leading members I am on my way. However, I do feel article 15 is woefully lax in its requirement.
Can a truly Barmy person get by checking the forum only three times a day, heck I check at least once an hour (while I am awake).
I must be Barmy for spending so much hard earned income on a PC just to play a single simulation, of course it is one heck of a simulation.
I must be Barmy for saving a seat out of my twenty year old Aerostar to use in building a cockpit. Which, while still a work in progress, took the better part of four months to get where is stands today.
I must be Barmy for my loving wife has no fears of me having an affair when, most every night, she hears the drone of a rotary engine, throughout the house (5.1 surround w/sub-woofer).
As for article 14, well that's a given these days.
I must be Barmy, for the past few months while driving, I have found myself breaking the view into sections, cycling through and scanning each section intently.
So there you have it, I hope that is sufficient to show I am Barmy, perhaps a reserved Barmy, but Barmy none the less.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/29/1603:49 PM
I personally vouch for Mr. Staches Barmy-ness. Not only does he display a great many of the traits for being Barmy, he consistently helps push others over the edge into being Barmy by assisting them with WOFF related issues until they too are hooked on the addiction. Furthermore, I have never witnessed him make an odd remark about others Barmy behavior, since in his eyes, it must appear perfectly normal. This man has my vote.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/30/1610:27 AM
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Stache, impressively barmy credentials. As for article 15 being "woefully lacking", keep in mind our charter was written back in simpler, less connected times.
"AYE!" says I to Stache becoming a member in questionable standing. And, in anticipation of the upcoming ceremony, I shall have a bar tab started for our latest initiate which may be abused liberally by the majority of the BOC, much as said initiate shall be.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/30/1602:45 PM
Lou I had a teacher that once used a similar instrument for corporal punishment in my Grade School. The only difference was there were holes drilled in it because she felt it gave more speed to her blows during a spanking.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/30/1603:26 PM
Well my old principal had two. One was called "Little Trouble (a smaller paddle) and the other was called "Big Trouble" which was...yes you guessed it. My memory is poor but I think I got into "Little Trouble" once. I just remember not wanting to get into "Big Trouble!" Funnily I ran into him about 10 years ago which would be about 40 years after the fact and he looked exactly the same as I remember! Guess as a young child everyone over 15 yoa "looks old."
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/30/1604:25 PM
The worst I remember was getting the paddle used on me then knowing when I got home I was going to get another from the parents. I remember once giving a buddy my billfold to help adsorb the blows. I got caught and we both got it without the billfolds.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/31/1610:57 PM
Belly up to the bar again! I'm so proud of my new BOC pins! That's barmy enough, righto! Have yourself a beaker of beer, a stoop of stout or a litre of lager! You'll never mind the cricket bat after this!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/01/1612:12 AM
Originally Posted By: Mr_Dirt
Lou I had a teacher that once used a similar instrument for corporal punishment in my Grade School. The only difference was there were holes drilled in it because she felt it gave more speed to her blows during a spanking.
Not much more speed, but definitely much more sting!
Replying more generally, in senior high we had a "good cop/bad cop" principal and assistant principal, respectively. The principal was outgoing and very well liked. The assistant was sullen and about 6'4", and I don't care how tough you thought you were, if you were sentenced to swats, you were coming out with tears in your eyes. I'm talking the hardest kids in the school. I'm glad I never graced the interior of his office. I was a goody two-shoes.
Oh, and BULLY! to another BWOC inductee, and a free round for Lou for a stupendous job on the pins!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/01/1601:12 PM
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Welcome to the club, Stache. I am reasonably certain the initiation went well this weekend last, though the particulars are a tad hazy. In any event, we have brought another into the barmy fold. Now then Stache, perhaps you would like to stop by the following thread and consider ordering up a club pin or two:
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/01/1603:43 PM
Huh, what, uh wait where am I...home? What happened to... Monday?... it's Monday?... supposed to be at work. Where are my car keys....where is my car... ohh geez......
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/06/1612:23 AM
Gentlemen and all concerned, I hereby submit, for official consideration, my application for the privilege and honor to be a member of the Barmy OFFers Club. I put forth to you my qualifications as being: 1. I have been guilty of many of the points on the charter. Specifically, numbers 1 through 4, 10 (oh yea!) and 19. 2. Even though I have other sims on my computer, I never fly them. I have WOFF and that’s all I need. 3. Whenever I listen to classical music, I think to myself, “I wonder if I could make a WOFF video with this”. I really do. I humbly ask for your approval, Jammer28
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/06/1601:16 AM
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"Aye!" says I, and I'll have a dram of Aberfeldy 21 on the tab of our soon-to-be newest member of this illustrious group of half-wits. Also, I am right there with you Jammer on the classical music. Now then, to the impending ceremony - where is Robert with 'The Bat'?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/06/1601:34 AM
Er, hic, Iz, hic, believe it's here under the table somewhere hic! Here youz go Lou! OOps, that's my brolley!, Ah, here it is mate, and I'll have another two fingers!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/07/1612:22 AM
After many years of telling myself I am not Barmy and I do not have the credentials to ask for membership into your fine exalted Barmy OFFers Club. I finally admit I could possibly be just a tiny bit on the Barmy side. I deffinatly do have problems with 1, 4, 7, 10 and just not sportscar nuts anybody get the machine gun treatment. The bigger vehicles are two seater or zeps if it is a bus size or bigger. I also have problems with 15. I have been flying OFF since the very first one. I have been a long time lurker on every forum OFF has been on. I sometimes leave the world of WOFF to do other Barmy things, like being crushed in a nice WWII steel tube under the sea, I also fly and build my air cargo and air taxi service in the wilds of Alaska. When not doing on of those three things I fly the Hump in my C-47. I recently found my way back to WOFF VER. 3 do to Lou's fine airial ballet on the WOFF website. I know I,m defiantly Barmy because I have know dedicated myself to the sweaty palmed reality of formation flying to do it right this time around. I promise no more lone wolf tactics. The problem is my mates think I am so Barmy they tend to disappear when I try to fly with them in formation. I weave this way and almost hit one as I pull up or dive. I then weave the other way and the next time I check my six and turn back forward they are gone. What.s up with that? So if you fine Barmy Gentlemen approve my offer to join your fine club I WOULD HUMBLY ACCEPT IT! The drinks are on me
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/07/1612:44 AM
Mr_Dirt;
You said one of the key phrases "The drinks are on me"! By the way your credentials seem adequate, and the symptoms only get worse over time I might add! Maybe we can help you with that!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/07/1604:36 AM
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BWOC BWOC BWOC, and aye says I! Mr. Dirt, you are most assuredly qualified, and now that you've opened a tab at the bar you'll no doubt be aces with everyone here. Two pints of our finest stout for yours truly, and the cricket bat for our newest initiate!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/08/1607:21 PM
Hello! I finally propose my candidature, I sure meet points 3, 15, 16, 14 (with a slight difference in that, often, I found the sky looks just like in WOFF, which is a good point considering that I have FOFF-Feet on Flanders Fields). I'll be honest with the point 19, I buy quite a lot of books, but not all of them are WW1 aviation, but I have quite enough to scare my friends when I said we will play a board game* with my rules (*which, by the way, they bought me. Quite a sign that I talk too much about WW1, no?).
I have let my barmiest side express itself with this little song that I hope will convince you to accept me in your Club. I also hope that the whole meaning has not been lost in translation, or that there are enough francophones here to save me!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/08/1608:35 PM
What, this man is not a member already? Because he bloody well should be! And I don't know about francophones, but there should be a telephone somewhere in the club.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/09/1601:10 PM
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actionjoe, your song most assuredly speaks to your barmy qualifications and I give my vote as well. As to the champagne, we do stock it at the bar but most of the BOC members don't drink it due the fair amount of jostling that occurs throughout the course of any given evening's events. The fizz tends to be uncontrollable, and more so once inside the body than out. None-the-less, if it's champagne you want then it's champagne you shall have - it's your gastrointestinal tract.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/09/1607:21 PM
Sorry for the delayed response, I've been busy with another video and I usually pay little attention to the world around me. I will happily buy a round (or two) for those who are thirsty. I'm partial to Guinness, Shiner Bock and tawny port. What'll ya'll have?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/09/1608:19 PM
Thanks to all the esteemed members who have accepted me into this fine outstanding club. As I have stated before drinks all around and place the bill at my station. Thanks to all!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/02/1603:41 AM
Salute Gents,
I've long enjoyed the fruits of the great giving tree that are OFF, WOFF, mods, and the community. Although short stints I've made in being involved/active in the forums, they're overshadowed by longer periods of "lurking" in the background and following/reading the on-goings of the game & community. I went up to the Dayton Dawn Patrol Rendezvous and had the great pleasure of meeting some folks I've known only in forums. (Wiggins, Louvert, Stache, Hauksbee to name a few). As per my usual strategy in the WOFF community, I found the WOFF tent and lingered around performing observation haha.
I would humbly throw my credentials for membership in for review, and after some good chuckles relating to the "requirements" and telling my wife across the hall (whom acknowledged my snickers with rolled eyes and head shakes), I felt it necessary to submit myself.
As far as the listed prerequisites, I find myself worthy of recognition for the following: 1 , 2 , 4 , 5 , 10, 13 , 14 , 20.
To go further with things I feel should be listed:
When introducing myself as "Jenks" to WOFF or ROF players(RAF28Jenkins for you RB flyers Sopwyth, wink wink ), I refer to my flying credentials/history of RBII/RB3D and my tournament accomplishments
I literally wear my "lucky" scarf when I fly WOFF or ROF. The few times i've forgotten or omitted to my flight s have ended most distastefully
I talked my IL2 lan party buddies into playing OFF over our LAN. It worked. It was fun...For me.
I Photoshop'd my mug onto a period photo for my DiD Campaign pilot. Because stock photos just weren't immersive enough.
I too have composed musical works in reflection to WOFF. Although not on the level of Matt Milne for sure.
For those who loose a child, they may wish to adorn their loved one's gravestone/marker/etc with angels, or a lamb. My son received a bronze Se5 scout with the caption "Soaring High In Our Hearts". I know he loves it. He's watching my six. Final Preview below.
It would be a great honor to join the ranks of the BOC, and I appreciate your consideration. If still available Louvert, i'll gladly pay the cost for the pin/shipping.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/02/1611:10 AM
I for one most heartily recommend RAF28JENKS as a member and look to the membership for affirmation! I am polishing the cricket bat in anticipation and re stocking the bar.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/02/1612:39 PM
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Jenks, you are most assuredly qualified for membership in our less-than-illustrious group and it is my pleasure to welcome you to the BOC. A bar tab has been started in your name and will be appropriately abused by your fellow club members during the ensuing initiation ceremony. And to that end, Robert - the bat.
Also Jenks, my most heartfelt condolences on the loss of your son. I've no doubt he is now your angel wingman keeping watch. May we all fly together one day across the eternal skies in God's Squadron.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/02/1609:39 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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Jenks, you are most assuredly qualified for membership in our less-than-illustrious group and it is my pleasure to welcome you to the BOC. A bar tab has been started in your name and will be appropriately abused by your fellow club members during the ensuing initiation ceremony. And to that end, Robert - the bat.
Also Jenks, my most heartfelt condolences on the loss of your son. I've no doubt he is now your angel wingman keeping watch. May we all fly together one day across the eternal skies in God's Squadron.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/02/1609:56 PM
An affirmative vote from me!
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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Jenks, you are most assuredly qualified for membership in our less-than-illustrious group and it is my pleasure to welcome you to the BOC. A bar tab has been started in your name and will be appropriately abused by your fellow club members during the ensuing initiation ceremony. And to that end, Robert - the bat.
Also Jenks, my most heartfelt condolences on the loss of your son. I've no doubt he is now your angel wingman keeping watch. May we all fly together one day across the eternal skies in God's Squadron.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/03/1612:30 AM
Couldn't say it any better than Lou already has - welcome to the club, Jenks!
I believe that the ones who left for the stars and beyond, would not want that we suffer. Measured on eternity, it will be our own turn only a little later.
Tender, a round for all these barmy men - I guess we could do with some of your best whiskey!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/12/1601:50 AM
Well, as usual I'm late to the party! But a hearty welcome to Jenks, whom I had the great pleasure to meet at the Dawn Patrol.
I'll take a shot of that, Olham! And will add my voice to what you and Lou have so nicely stated, as I also have a grandchild waiting for us, and enjoying our glorious hereafter. It's a horrible thing to go through, but we don't sorrow as those who have no hope. The longer I live, the more real Heaven is to me; eternity is written on our hearts. I hope that brings some comfort, as Olham says, your son wants you to live, really live, as he is doing now. You'll be together again.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/15/1612:50 AM
A hearty welcome Jenks as well as a heartfelt round of prayers for you and yours. Lou said it so gracefully as always. I noticed the date on your son's stone my grand-daughter was born the day before. I no I can never know you pain, but I do know the love you must have felt for your son. I know he is watching over you know.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/17/1609:32 PM
Gentlemen,
My sincerest thanks for the kind thoughts and words. Forgive me that I have no words of weight in response. I'm glad to join (formally) the BoC ranks and am happy to report the badge adorns my flying cap for each time my wheels leave the ground. Given the chance in the future, I'll gladly buy a round for the lads and sing a hearty tune to carry the mood for the evening.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/18/1601:00 AM
Sing? Sing? By George I've got to learn some WWI drinking songs for the next get-together!
(Background - I'm as outgoing and goofy as my wife is proper, retiring, and quiet. So we're out on the bike trail on a beautiful day, when we get to a place where no one can see where it's coming from, I bellow in full baritone voice a line from an old Tony Bennett song, "I-I-I-I-I-T'S THE GOOD LIFE!". My autistic son cracks up laughing and my wife mutters "big mouth...", which cracks him up again.) I do like to sing...!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/18/1601:12 AM
Originally Posted By: HumanDrone
Sing? Sing? By George I've got to learn some WWI drinking songs for the next get-together!
(Background - I'm as outgoing and goofy as my wife is proper, retiring, and quiet. So we're out on the bike trail on a beautiful day, when we get to a place where no one can see where it's coming from, I bellow in full baritone voice a line from an old Tony Bennett song, "I-I-I-I-I-T'S THE GOOD LIFE!". My autistic son cracks up laughing and my wife mutters "big mouth...", which cracks him up again.) I do like to sing...!
Have another round, me'boys!
Here's a fine World War I era song for us to start with!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/18/1607:14 PM
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Well if you lot are going to learn some appropriate drinking songs, (and by all the gods you should!), then those songs best be of the RFC and RNAS variety. Here are two standards in the upbeat tempo that you can begin with.
What did you want to go and crash like that for? It’s the second time today. You make me mad, you make me sad. First it was a Rumpety, then a brand new Spad. What do you want to fool around like that for? First you banked and then you slipped away.
But never mind, you’ll go up again tonight, with umpteen bombs all loaded with dynamite. Then if you make another crash like last time, then you won’t draw next week’s pay.
The Only Way
(here is a link to a 1915 recording of: "The Only Way" so that you can sort out the tune to which this ditty is sung)
If by some delightful chance, when you’re flying out in France, some Bosche machine you meet, very slow and obsolete. Don’t turn round to watch your tail, tricks like that are getting stale; just put down your beastly nose, and murmur, “Chaps, here goes!”
It’s the only only way, it’s the only trick to play; he’s the only Hun, you’re the only Pup, and he’s only getting the wind right up. So go on and do not stop ‘til his tail’s damn near your prop; if he only crashes this side in flames, well, only then they’ll believe your claims. So keep him tight in your Aldis sight, it’s the o-o-only way!
If on escort you should go when the Fees are very slow, while the Archies grumph and roar, and Huns gather by the score; if a nasty Hun should strive, it’s away that you must dive. There’s no choice at all, and so down your nose must go!
It’s the only only way, it’s the only trick to play; he’s the only Hun, you’re the only Pup, and he’s only getting the wind right up. So go on and do not stop ‘til his tail’s damn near your prop; if he only crashes this side in flames, well, only then they’ll believe your claims. So keep him tight in your Aldis sight, it’s the o-o-only way!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/20/1611:37 PM
Originally Posted By: HumanDrone
If I had the time, I'd probably come up with a BWOC or WOFF version of "It's along way to Tipparary". Pretty sure that one's a WWI era song, no?
And barkeep, a round for all me'boys here in honor of the release of WOFF UE!
Indeed HD, you are correct sir! Louvert, I just sat here passing the time sing'n along. I suppose I should have recorded it so's to have a good laugh for everyone. This will require bourbon or brandy to be properly performed. Please see to the arrangements! I'll be practicing!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/21/1601:35 PM
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Greetings fellow BOC members and other interested victims - err umm - candidates. I am posting to address a most grievous oversight that must be corrected post-haste. When checking our club records this morning I discovered that loftyc, who applied for membership some time back and is most assuredly qualified, was overlooked during the most recent initiation ceremonies. This error shall be amended this evening at the club bar where we will properly initiate our BOC brother by abusing his newly created tab and introducing him to one of our most hallowed relics - the cricket bat.
Welcome aboard loftyc, most glad to have you as one of the daft, the touched, the barmy. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/21/1601:44 PM
Good catch Lou I was feeling the need for some spirits. Congrats on your conformation Loftyc. Now which way to the bar. I think it is this way or maybe that way. If I get lost I will listen for the fine singing voice of Lou, that will show me the way.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/21/1602:07 PM
Originally Posted By: Mr_Dirt
Good catch Lou I was feeling the need for some spirits. Congrats on your conformation Loftyc. Now which way to the bar. I think it is this way or maybe that way. If I get lost I will listen for the fine sing voice of Lou, that will show me the way.
BARring the lack of voices, just listen for the melodic sound of clinking glasses and gurgling spirits!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/21/1611:51 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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Greetings fellow BOC members and other interested victims - err umm - candidates. I am posting to address a most grievous oversight that must be corrected post-haste. When checking our club records this morning I discovered that loftyc, who applied for membership some time back and is most assuredly qualified, was overlooked during the most recent initiation ceremonies. This error shall be amended this evening at the club bar where we will properly initiate our BOC brother by abusing his newly created tab and introducing him to one of our most hallowed relics - the cricket bat.
Welcome aboard loftyc, most glad to have you as one of the daft, the touched, the barmy. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Lou
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Glad we got that cleared up, got to keep the rolls up to date! I need to know if that chap across the way is making googly eyes at me because he is a member of our most egregious organization or because of...well...myopia...
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/22/1612:34 AM
Originally Posted By: Rick_Rawlings
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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Greetings fellow BOC members and other interested victims - err umm - candidates. I am posting to address a most grievous oversight that must be corrected post-haste. When checking our club records this morning I discovered that loftyc, who applied for membership some time back and is most assuredly qualified, was overlooked during the most recent initiation ceremonies. This error shall be amended this evening at the club bar where we will properly initiate our BOC brother by abusing his newly created tab and introducing him to one of our most hallowed relics - the cricket bat.
Welcome aboard loftyc, most glad to have you as one of the daft, the touched, the barmy. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Lou
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Glad we got that cleared up, got to keep the rolls up to date! I need to know if that chap across the way is making googly eyes at me because he is a member of our most egregious organization or because of...well...myopia...
Well, if it's "youropia" then you can deal with it yourself
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/16/1710:33 AM
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No JB, you have it quite wrong, we at the BOC don't wish to cure you but rather urge you to embrace your madness. Now then, if you've read our membership charter in the first post here you need only to offer a few of your qualifications, apart from those you've already demonstrated, and we shall be more than happy to welcome you in, start your bar tab, and introduce you to our most hallowed and sacred ceremonies.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/16/1711:46 AM
Fair enough.
When I was a kid I made a detailed pen and paper database of WW2 air force units and devised my own RPG style board game based on dice rolls and rules of thumb. Then I wrote a story about it, I don't have the story anymore but I'll offer that as a qualification.
I use the clock system to point things out in real life.
When I was 8 I was featured in a newspaper article after correctly identifying a Nieuport in a local museum while within earshot of the curator.
I play WoFF with my fan blowing in my face.
I involuntarily attempt to change the PoV while watching flight sim videos on youtube by tilting my head while shouting tactical advice at the screen.
My pilots always have an evolving backstory, even the ones I create specifically to play with when I've partaken of a few beers because I want to protect my more serious pilots.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/16/1712:47 PM
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Indeed, and given comments you'd made in another thread I had no doubt your credentials would be impeccable.
"AYE!" says I to JimmyBlonde becoming a member of questionable standing in our barmy band of boobs --- BWOC BWOC BWOC! (Damn the alliterations, full speed ahead.)
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/16/1712:54 PM
Originally Posted By: RAF_Louvert
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Indeed, and given comments you'd made in another thread I had no doubt your credentials would be impeccable.
"AYE!" says I to JimmyBlonde becoming a member of questionable standing in our barmy band of boobs --- BWOC BWOC BWOC! (Damn the alliterations, full speed ahead.)
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Lou, I would like to borrow the cricket bat again, as the tax man cometh very soon!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/18/1703:51 PM
Originally Posted By: JimmyBlonde
I involuntarily attempt to change the PoV while watching flight sim videos on youtube by tilting my head while shouting tactical advice at the screen.
That's hilarious. When I'm at a merge in traffic, I find myself leaning as I slide in behind the car in front of me...give it just a little reverse rudder and start searching for the trigger.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/18/1709:28 PM
Hehe, I've lined up a semi or two on the highway with a chip in the windscreen and caught myself muttering "dakka dakka dakka" too. Especially those ones that haul the big gas trailers.
You'll often hear snippets like "Stop following him around with your gunsight like a clown, put yourself ahead of him!", "Be more aggressive!", "SHOOT SHOOT NOW"! or "Don't throw your height away!" coming from my room when I find a Youtube channel with plenty of flight sim content.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/19/1701:02 AM
Originally Posted By: AceMedic88
Does screaming "CONACT!" at my neighbors shoveling their driveway when I start my car in the morning enough to qualify for the club?
Nope, first you must ask your significant other to sit behind you and man the Lewis every time you go for a car ride. You have to have the urge to pull the steering wheel toward you when coming to a red light and to push the steering wheel away from you when you think your car is about to stall. You must also give the skunk-eye to every Mercedes-Benz driver (regardless if the cross on the door is red or not).
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/19/1711:10 AM
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AceMedic88, the mere act of asking to join our lot demonstrates your grip on reality is tenuous at best. Add to that your above cited example of barmy behavior and your fascination with WOFF and I'd say you're a definite candidate for the BOC. And don't be afraid to share a few more of the WOFF and WWI aviation related insanities you've manifested, you're among friends here and we won't judge. Run up your bar tab, beat you with the cricket bat, (which was found yesterday after breakfast in the pump house where Robert had been using it as a stir paddle for a batch of bathtub gin he'd been mixing), and have a fair share of laughs at your expense, yes - but we won't judge you. Just ask our newest member to the fold JimmyBlonde whom we initiated last night, though I wouldn't ask him just yet as he may still be sleeping it off.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/22/1703:11 AM
Well....hmm...it has been a while since folks have replied to this thread, but it's time to "fire it up" once again!
Seems some folks think I might have the qualifications to become, well, part of the barmy! Wait, is that proper grammatical usage? I think I just become.... barmy!...or wait, I must already be barmy to be in the club....
....so,OK, lets see if I can line up with at least four of the qualifications:
15. You visit the OFF forum at least three times a day when not physically prevented from doing so. Ha! More like 30!
17. Your spouse or partner can immediately tell by the look on your face that your virtual self has 'bought the farm'. Yes, definintely, and to the point where I am then advised to seek therapy and not bore her with such details (and instead talk about the Crawley family or something else [although I have convinced her to watch BBC Wings with me ])
21. You lobby with greater fervour for a new aeroplane type to be included in the next (W)OFF enhancement than you would for better saftey features in school buses. Ha! Our buses are more important than their buses anyway Edit: I just realized why this is actually true! The year is 1915...school buses were not around yet, and school bus safety features could have been designed by...the kin of men who flew WWI buses! . ....at least to myself...is that barmy?
18. You have a replica WWI pilots uniform in your 'den'. Well, not quite, but I did recently purchase a 1915 one shilling piece from ebay just to feel what it was like, and also knowing my current pilot (George Lyons) gets seven of those a day...cold comfort if he dies!
19. You can't remember the last book you bought that wasn't connected with WWI aviation ....actually, almost true! I had to think about it, but since April I have acquired five books, one magazine, and borrowed a few more via interlibrary loan (a wonderful thing in the USA) all about WWI aviation. Fortunately, the library director at my local library is also a WWI buff, and I've been able to talk to him on occasion about stuff, including WOFF of course.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/22/1711:20 AM
Originally Posted by Ace_Pilto
I'll endorse your claim.
Anyone who photoshops themselves into WW1 pictures is going above and beyond the base requirements imo.
How right you are Ace_Pilto!
I'll second Jeff's induction into the BWOC. I think your fantastic additions to our stories around here are more than meritorious for membership. Now if only Lou was here he'd be the first to tell you...
New lad buys the first round!
I'll take a nice stout Guinness if you have it Jeff!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/22/1701:15 PM
Approaching meekly, eyes turned to the floor, Robert hands the cricket bat to Lou, still dripping with suds and explains " I borrowed it to stir the vat of wort!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/22/1707:18 PM
As the only BWOC official, in the absence of our much-missed Lou and Olham, I hereby declare (and I'm here by de bar ahead of the stampede) that Jeff is now a member of the Barmy Offers Club.
Mine's a double Cragganmore with no water mind ye. Robert you may do the honours with the bat WHEN I've got my drink out of the way.
BTW MFair, those questions are entirely the wrong way around for a BOC member... you should always start with 'Where's my drink!'
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/22/1708:00 PM
Thanks much everyone!!!!
Allright then....since I'm getting this round, let me see:
Capt Sopwith, here you are....since you are likely the youngest, I gave you an amount that probably is appropriate:
JUST KIDDIN'!
Ha ha, it seems MFair is more interested in spanking...haven't had this much trepidation since my fraternity days...looks like ol' Robert_Wiggins is an enabler....but not after the homebrew is taken care of!
I know RAF_Louvert can't be here (I wish him well!), but in a previous thread he said he would like "Tullamore Dew in my next cup of coffee "...
...and Dezh would like a double Cragganmore no water (ooh that one might burn a bit )...
Banjoman chimed in with a "si"....
...and HumanDrone....probably out droning or something, but earlier he wanted a Guinness
...and to everyone else (Ace_Pilto, I didn't get your order ):
(yes, the faces of the innocent were blotted out!)
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/22/1708:57 PM
Jesh,
WelcomeandmushthaanksssfortheGuiness.
I'm a little late but <sobs> I'd have voted for ye anyway, matey! <throws an arm around sheff and leans in, somewhat off equilibrium> yer one uv thu good ones, ya know, yea, one uv da good ones...
And I'm NOT drunk. I've only had one (30 gallon) Guiness!
(All seriosuness aside, that was one of the best virtual rounds we've ever been served!)
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/22/1709:50 PM
Guinness, Cragganmore, Lagavulin...
As my grandfather (2 Kings Own Scottish Borderers and 7/8 KOSB, 1915-1918) would have said, "Aye, I'll cast a vote for the new lad. Jes' a wee dram. Not too much. Ach, ye'll sell mair whuskey if ye fill the glass, man. Aye there's the stuff take feed the troops. Gaes roon' yer hayrt like a hairy wurrum."
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/23/1701:00 AM
@HumanDrone....you sound like I looked in RL when I drank a fifth of peppermint schnapps in one sitting many years ago...that did not end well for me, lol
@Robert_Wiggins...thanks sir!:
Originally Posted by Banjoman
Your ability to find a picture of a drink named Banjo means, at least to me, that you were born to be a member of the BOC.
Thanks Banjoman! Glad you approve
Originally Posted by Raine
Guinness, Cragganmore, Lagavulin...
As my grandfather (2 Kings Own Scottish Borderers and 7/8 KOSB, 1915-1918) would have said, "Aye, I'll cast a vote for the new lad. Jes' a wee dram. Not too much. Ach, ye'll sell mair whuskey if ye fill the glass, man. Aye there's the stuff take feed the troops. Gaes roon' yer hayrt like a hairy wurrum."
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/23/1701:33 AM
Sheesh, Raine that's some mighty fine Scottish! Love it!
Jeff, I'm as pretend a drunk as can be. Only once in my life was I even close to being drunk, and i didn't like it. And well I recall a fellow in college who did what you did, and when I say it wasn't pretty, I mean the kid could've freakin' died, and we were too stupid to realize it. Thank God he didn't. We were in a hotel on an ROTC base visit. He was bunking with me and he'd had substances coming from every orifice in various places around the room throughout the night. So the next morning I let him sleep as long as I could, then I went up to the room, and woke him up by pounding on the hollow metal door like I was going to go through it. Sweet, merciful type, that's me! Or at least 17 year old me!
I'm such a non-drinker I thought I'd have to avow my Irish heritage! But then I found that I like a good, fresh Guinness, and so managed to keep my Irish pride!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/23/1701:50 AM
Originally Posted by HumanDrone
Sheesh, Raine that's some mighty fine Scottish! Love it!
Jeff, I'm as pretend a drunk as can be. Only once in my life was I even close to being drunk, and i didn't like it. And well I recall a fellow in college who did what you did, and when I say it wasn't pretty, I mean the kid could've freakin' died, and we were too stupid to realize it. Thank God he didn't. We were in a hotel on an ROTC base visit. He was bunking with me and he'd had substances coming from every orifice in various places around the room throughout the night. So the next morning I let him sleep as long as I could, then I went up to the room, and woke him up by pounding on the hollow metal door like I was going to go through it. Sweet, merciful type, that's me! Or at least 17 year old me!
I'm such a non-drinker I thought I'd have to avow my Irish heritage! But then I found that I like a good, fresh Guinness, and so managed to keep my Irish pride!
Best,
Tom
I hear ya Tom and admire your non-drunkenness! Well, I've had my moments....the peppermint schnapps was a college adventure, and when I studied in England, I tell you EVERYONE I met drank, and many drank a lot. Heck, they have bars in each of the dorms (they call them "Colleges"), and the profs join right in with the students (well this was in the 1990s).
And well now I'm a family man and busy with five kids on top of what I do for a career (a long story, but lets say for now that I am very active in my community and run many programs)...also, the culture here in southern Wisconsin is rather alcohol-heavy in my opinion, but my wife and I do not drink nearly as much as many others I know. I drink responsibly and never drive when I've even had just one, etc., blah, etc.
But I will say, in real life, I will occasionally get one of these to mix with my Coca-cola:
...it's one of those 50ml "Nips"....once I've had one of those, it is enough for me!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/25/1710:46 AM
I tend to stay off the hard stuff, the MP's and I are on a first name basis after the last few leaves. Make mine tall cold and frosty will you and welcome to the club.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/29/1705:44 PM
A
Originally Posted by CaptSopwith
Originally Posted by Robert_Wiggins
Now here's a man that knows how to spread cheer!! May I be the fist to say Welcome to the BWOC. I'll have 2 fingers of Lagavulin neat please.
Robert, I need to try this drink of yours. I've been intrigued by it since I saw Ron Swanson enjoying it on Parks and Rec...
Ah, it's very smooth with a strong peaty note. Especially enjoyable in the winter months and particularly goes well following a cup oh hot Lapsang Sou Chong Chinese black tea.
I would say of both of them, you either thoroughly will enjoy it or never come back to it again!! Aging palates find it more enjoyable.
A splash of water in the Lagavulin really brings out the flavour.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/29/1707:14 PM
Originally Posted by Dezh
As the only BWOC official, in the absence of our much-missed Lou and Olham, I hereby declare (and I'm here by de bar ahead of the stampede) that Jeff is now a member of the Barmy Offers Club.
Mine's a double Cragganmore with no water mind ye. Robert you may do the honours with the bat WHEN I've got my drink out of the way.
BTW MFair, those questions are entirely the wrong way around for a BOC member... you should always start with 'Where's my drink!'
Let drinking commence continue.
Dej
Ok Dej' let's see if I can rectify my situation. "I have my drink. I'm ready for my spanking, here is the bat!" Must remember the unwritten rules!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/30/1709:49 PM
Lagavulin:
Founded in 1816 on the island of Islay, Lagavulin was originally part of two distilleries constructed by John Jonston and Archibald Campbell. One distillery closed, and Lagavulin took over its buildings. The name comes from the Gaelic Lag a’ Mhuilinn, meaning “hollow of the mill.” Prior to the early 19th century, the area was home to countless illicit whisky moonshiners and other nefarious characters.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/30/1711:53 PM
Folks;
Being somewhat of a Single Malt aficionado I had a thought...
If somehow I was able to merge RAF_Louvert's WWI library with my Single Malt Scotch collection we would have a fabulous library to relax and research in. What a place it would make for a BWOC meeting!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 09/02/1703:48 AM
Originally Posted by Robert_Wiggins
Folks;
Being somewhat of a Single Malt aficionado I had a thought...
If somehow I was able to merge RAF_Louvert's WWI library with my Single Malt Scotch collection we would have a fabulous library to relax and research in. What a place it would make for a BWOC meeting!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 09/02/1703:52 AM
To let everyone know, a member of the BWOC who shall remain anonymous sent me a spare pin they happened to have! It is a very attractive pin, and I shall place it somewhere that will force questions, and then I will have to explain everything (and perhaps gain some more barmy converts to WOFF:UE )
In honor of this member's generosity, I donated $10 (ha ha, USD of course the RESERVE CURRENCY OF THE WORLD (lol)) to the WOFF:UE / WOTR cause.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 09/07/1712:26 PM
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I see we've indoctrinated and properly abused --- err ---- initiated another new member to our flock. Glad to have you aboard Jeff, and as I was late to the party and it is still morning you can set me up with three fingers of Tullamore Dew and a nice hot cuppa tea after which you can hand me the cricket bat and I shall welcome you properly. Long live the Barmy OFFers, BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 09/07/1701:00 PM
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Oh that I should be so worthy to be called "captain". But I shall assume the mantle with as much humility as I can muster, (given the aforementioned three fingers of Tullamore Dew), and strive to carry us forward with great barmy and the highest bwocyness.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/18/1811:44 AM
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My fellow BOC comrades, we've a new member to welcome to our little slice of insanity. Thanks to a recent attentiveness of our Robert_Wiggins we can now claim Fullofit to be "one of us", (one-of-us one-of-us one-of-us). Join me in the club bar where we shall run up the tab of our newest BOC brother and introduce him not only to our time-honoured traditions but also to one of our most hallowed relics - the cricket bat. "Fetch the bat!"
Welcome aboard Fullofit, glad to have you as one of the daft, the touched, the barmy. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/18/1812:44 PM
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Mark, I was shocked as well. I'm blaming the oversight on sunspots. Now then, to the drinks, I'm still working on my morning coffee so I believe several fingers of Tullamore Dew should compliment that nicely. Barkeep!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/18/1801:06 PM
Duke, it's a cricket bat, not a paddle, we've had this discussion before though given the levels of inebriation at the time it's no surprise it's been forgotten. Allow me to reacquaint you with said bat - repeatedly.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/18/1801:21 PM
Thank you Gentlemen for a warm welcome. Drinks are on me (c’mon stop spilling) and go easy on the cricket bat. It looks like it’s seen better days.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/18/1801:42 PM
Duke, you are correct about Robert having a thing for the bat, but then who are we to judth ... judth ... i think the Tullamore Dew is kicking in.
Fullofit, the bat has yet to see its better days if this BOC president has anything to say about it. Those dents and scrapes and taped repairs are badges of honour each and every one as they speak to our rich tradition and ceremony, the latter of which I shall now elaborate on for those unfamiliar:
Each new initiate will place themselves upside down upon the wooden school chair, perched atop a precarious pile of furniture in the Mess, with the soot-encrusted soles of their flying boots pressed firmly against the ceiling. Vice President Dej, or in his stead Robert, (or for that matter any other senior member who wishes), shall then give each initiate three whacks with the cricket bat, following which the initiate shall recite the words, "Oooh Matron! Is that a dodo in my trousers?", in an octave higher than his normal speaking voice. Upon descending from the perch each new member shall then be given a glass of Warsteiner which they will raise in salute to our assembly, saying "Per dementia ad astra!", at which we shall all down our drink in one.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/18/1802:17 PM
Thanks for the description of the ceremony, Lou. But, now I’m nervous. I always forget which way is up. Or was it vertical vs. horizontal ... or was it left from right? Now I’m confused.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/18/1802:51 PM
I feel I must speak to the issue of my devotion to the cricket bat. It is of course a revered item with much historical relevance, and as such, it must be cared for diligently. Why as a matter of fact, I have been curing it carefully in my pickling vat to ensure that the wood is proper hardness, with appropriate flexibility to administer the desired effect when used in our ceremonies. Surely we wouldn't want it left lying around in some dingy corner for the mascot to pee on would we? I'll have a Balvenie 20 please, three fingers and a splash of water.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 02/18/1803:04 PM
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Good point Shredward.
Robert, we of the BOC are appreciative of how diligent you are about pickling the bat. We are even more appreciative of the fact that you do it in private.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/04/1803:03 AM
Lou This appears to be quite the league of extraordinary gentlemen! I raise my glass and toast all of you in the Barmy OFFers club! Perhaps one day I will request acceptance into said sacred fold!! Stay thirsty my friends!! Cheers!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/04/1811:47 AM
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Deej, given what you've shown us thus far, I'd say your already qualified to become a gentleman of questionable standing in the BOC. "Aye!" says I, what say the rest of you lot, shall we stack up the furniture and ready the cricket bat?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/04/1812:14 PM
Aye says I, and would like to nominate Bunny as well for reasons of his full time commitment to WOFF. It is obvious from his posts that he eats, sleeps, and spends most of his waking hours embroiled in it. Oh and since we are approaching the Easter season, how could we possibly leave him out, given his handle of "Bunny". We might as well kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. I would like to add that he has been very generous so far, around the virtual bar and that is a trait not to be overlooked!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/04/1812:30 PM
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Agreed Robert, Bunny is clearly one cylinder short of a rotary. "Aye!" to him as well. Best prepare the bat and have it ready for the beatings, I mean initiation, of our newest victims, err umm, members.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/04/1801:28 PM
My backside still smarts from the recent initiation (or is that the lower side?). Good luck to the two new recruits and welcome to the fold. I’ll have a case of Veuve Clicquot.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/04/1802:53 PM
Originally Posted by RAF_Louvert
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Some penicillin should take care of that for you Fullofit.
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Lou, I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but wouldn’t a shot of rabies vaccine be more appropriate and efficacious? Oh, here we go, Veuve Clicquot is kicking in.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/10/1801:50 PM
Gentlemen
My apologies for the absence. I have been busy with the sale of our home and downsizing. I can now set forth with some free time and take to the skies. Thank you Lou for the compliment and yes I am ready for the rituals of gaining membership in the BOC. Please break out the “bat” and ready it for use. Barkeep, a round of drinks for this crew of extraordinary gentlemen! Cheers to acceptance into their fine ranks!! I can clearly say I can be many cylinders short of a full rotary! Stay thirsty my friends!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/11/1812:08 PM
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It's official then, Deej7066 shall be, from this time hence, one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy. Robert, apportez la batte de cricket! Gentlemen, feel free to abuse our newest fellow's bar tab, among other things. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/11/1809:31 PM
Gentlemen let me add my vigorous enthusiasm, oh and by the way, the bat is now being offered up for service! Barkeep, three fingers of Lagavulin if you please, and let the games begin!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/12/1810:05 PM
Gentlemen!!
I thank you for your generous acceptance into this fine fraternity of daft, the touched and the Barmy!! I am truly honoured! Drink to your fill at said bar until my wallet runs dry..and so does the bottles of fine whiskey and ale kegs!! I raise a toast to all my new brethren of the BWOC!!
Lou make sure the bar keep is generous with his fill ups! Hopefully my backside can survive the initiation from said cricket bat as I need to sit in my cockpit tommorow and head over German lines!!
Cheers!! BWOC BWOC BWOC!! Than you Lou, MFair and all! Stay thirsty my friends!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/14/1810:47 AM
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After the last two days of celebration and general revelry I've been moved to recite some of my WOFF-inspired poetry. Blatant plagiarism of Kipling to be sure, but then I only steal from the best.
(Lou clears his throat, takes a long draw off a fresh pint of stout, then climbs atop the nearest upright table and begins)
There's a Legion that never was listed, That carries no colours or crest, And it serves in such barmy detachments, That it's poor understood by the rest. Our forebeares they left us their blessing, They taught us, and groomed us, and crammed; But we've shaken the ancient few pixels To go and find out and be damned, Dear lads! To go and get shot and be damned.
So some of us fly for the Kaiser, And some of us soar for the King, And some rise up for La Marseillaise, And some for old Sam take to wing: And some of us drift up to Ypers, And some drift across to the Somme, And some share our tucker in Soissons, And some at St. Mihiel do bomb, Dear lads! At St. Mihiel get giddy and bomb.
We've painted old Flanders vermilion, We've washed the old Alsace in red, We've shouted on simulat battle, We've flown until we were dead; We've laughed at the world as we found it, From high in the spurious air, From Zeebrugge on down to Mulhausen We've battled with nary a care, Dear lads! We've flown with nary a care.
The damned depths of Hell were our portion, And Heaven at large was our share. There was never a skirmish too windward But the Virtual Legion was there: Yes, somehow and somewhere and always We were first when the trouble began, From a recce flight over old Lille, To a dogfight on high over Thann, Dear lads! We mounted and fought over Thann.
We preach in advance of the Army, We skirmish ahead of the Crowds, With never a general to help us When we're dying above in the clouds. But we know as the cartridges finish, And we're filed on our last little shelves, That the Legion that never was listed Will send barmy ones as ourselves, Good men! Hundreds barmy, just as ourselves!
Then a health (we must drink it in whispers), To our wholly unauthorized horde, To the line of our dusty foreloopers, The RB3D'ers adored. Yes, a health to ourselves ere we scatter, For flight simmers won't wait for the train, And the Legion that never was listed Goes back into quarters again! Regards! Goes back in the skies once again. Hurrah! The Sop and the Alby again. Here's how! The Vickers and Spandaus again. Salute! Wings O'er Flanders Fields once again!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/14/1804:16 PM
How the hand of the bard was steady enough to put that to paper is surely a wonder to one and all. Clearly, he has not had enough to drink. Another trayful for Lou, Barkeep !
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/15/1801:15 AM
Words of pure elegance Lou!! A beautiful ring to the ears! Hear hear! Barkeep keep these Barmy fellows awash in fine spirits and ale! Aye say I, that my backside has survived the bat! A tray of drinks to the piano...as I stagger that way...I toast you all, good sir Robert, Raine, HumanDrone,DukeIronHand,Shredward, Fullofit, Mr_Dirt, MFair, and of course Lou!! As well as too all the others that I have not mentioned. Cheers!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/20/1812:16 PM
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Ah yes, but it will be full again soon once you've received your monthly stipend from the Crown, and rest assured we'll all be here to help you empty it once more Sir.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 03/27/1810:00 PM
Lou!! My good friend!! I look forward to you all emptying my wallet upon receiving the crowns monthly stipend once more! I have informed said barkeep upon the next meeting of this league of extraordinary gentlemen to keep his establishment heavily stocked with nothing but fine spirits and ale. I will pay for one and all for an evening of frivolity, witty banter, tall tales of action, the infamous cricket bat-if good Sir Robert can part with it- and perhaps another few poetic verses from yourself! I am available for the next call to arms when my new barmy brethren are ready for another raucous evening to hoist their glasses and tankards in tribute to our fraternity BWOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 04/27/1803:58 PM
Just back in the forum as I have been extremely busy with moving, and returning from R&R from PV Mexico. Will be taking a hiatus from flying until 1August when I move into my new condo. I’ll be in the forum from time to time during May-July to keep in contact with all of my fine friends here in the HQ! Cheers for now! Deej
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 04/27/1808:40 PM
Gentlemen, In the absence of our illustrious leader, I would like to raise attention to a potential member who has long been overlooked as a candidate to our Barmy membership.
May I nominate JJJ65, commonly referred to as "Jara" among friends. There is no doubt that he holds all the necessary attributes and the makings of a fine BWOC member. Need I draw attention to his obsession with developing fine tools to add to the WOFF experience. Why it would appear, that he eats, sleeps and breathes WOFFiness 24/7. He is so obsessed with the perfection of the WOFF experience that he has little time to actually immerse himself in the flight experience.
Oh how could we have overlooked this chap. (besides, there has been a rather dry spell as of late and I for one think this a great opportunity to break into the BWOC bar to quench the thirst)
Let's put it to the vote, and hope that our leader drops in to pass the nomination.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 04/28/1810:25 AM
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How we've managed to miss adding Jara to our ranks in all this time is beyond me. A most resounding "AYE!" says I. Robert, the bat. Barkeep, drinks all around on our newest member's tab. And, if you would also top up my thermos of coffee with a bit of Tullamore Dew I'll be on my way. I'd loved to stay for the festivities but pressing matters at the HQ motor pool are requiring that I return posthaste. Welcome aboard Jara, you are now a member of questionable standing in this most illustrious and barmy group, as well you should be. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 04/28/1801:23 PM
Well, since there are no dissenters, and the mob of people at the bar have made it impossible for me to wet my whistle before the customary indoctrination speech, I will try my best to blather on.
Gather round and someone...PLEASE ...pass me a pint of the finest
Let it be known to all and sundry that Jara is now an illustrious member of our conspicuous band of brethren.
Would he who has possession of the bat begin the closing ceremonies.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 04/28/1802:58 PM
Thanks to all the respected members who have accepted my humble human been into this fine and well known Barmy OFFers Club. Now, barkeeper, drinks to everybody until my wallet dries out . Thank you!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 04/28/1804:09 PM
You may still manage to save a little in your wallet Jara, It seems that the deliveries to the bar have been somewhat lax in Lou's absence. That matter must be taken care of promptly!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 04/28/1808:38 PM
As always I’m late to the party. Why no one ever tells me about those things? All that’s left is Triple-J’s Java. Congrats to the newest member. May the bruises on your butt from the cricket bat heal quickly.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 07/29/1812:41 AM
Hello Lou/Gents
I have returned from obsecurity to said forum. It was a hectic time as I had sold my home to downsize as since my kids flew the coup a few years back there was no need to have all that room and subsequently am moving into a 2 bedroom condo 1 Aug. Had to vacate the home 1 May and find temp accommodations as new condo wasn’t ready until a/m date. Between part time work post retirement and dealing with some health issues-nothing too serious- kept me away for the past several weeks from the forum. Once set up in the new place will be on the forum as I was once was on a regular basis. My apologies for being scarce, but things became upside down and are back to normal! Cheers!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/03/1808:46 PM
Don't know how I missed this before, but yeah, I do believe I qualify. My own lack of grip on reality is compounded by the fact that I have the same addiction with WW2 Submarine simulations and with a WW1 and 2 (and Korea and modern) sim/game that I've played with friends on hobby shop game floors with model aeroplanes for the past forty years.
A friend of mine (now sadly gone) once told us that he was apparently talking in his sleep, because over breakfast the next morning his wife asked him "What does 'break left' mean?"
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/04/1812:35 PM
Now I don't want to overstep my privileges. I am only permitted to recommend new members. Deej or RAF_Louvert are, i believe, the officers who may bestow membership.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/05/1812:19 AM
Hear, hear Sailor_Steve. Another one to pay my bar tab. On another note, I was looking through the S.E.5 Owner's Workshop Manual today and showed my wife Albert Ball's ripping cake recipe in Appendix 3. She offered to make it. Can I submit her nomination as a honorary member? She doesn't need to know about it. She can tell B-17 from a B-29 and her favorite tank is a Merkava, because girls in Israel are allowed to drive it. Does she qualify?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/05/1803:30 AM
Without knowing you or your wife I take a big risk, but she's probably not crazy enough. On the other hand, you can always fall back on the "Well, she married me" argument.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/06/1802:39 AM
Well, I'm taking a risk as well, ticking of a woman who can drive a tank! And an Israelite as well, bless her! But I think Sailor_Steve's argument wins the day - she married you...! But it's like my daughter posted on her door for a while- - "Wierd. But a good kind of wierd!" Barmy-ness is a quality to be envied, I believe.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 08/12/1806:17 PM
A belated welcome to Jara!
I see we've only tea left - AGAIN! Time for our silver-tongued bar steward to confound regulations art the depot.
I think forty years of floor top (or is that floor bottom?) gaming combined with those other obsessions is an adequate qualification, Sailor_Steve! As far as I'm concerned, as VP, you're in. Mine's a... hmm... tea :-(
To the question of Fullofit's wife, whilst we'd certainly welcome some female company in the clubhouse for as long as we're sober enough to appreciate it, it CAN only be honorary. There's the tricky matter of the er... cough... cricket bat, you see. Ahem!.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 09/02/1803:06 PM
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Apologies all for my long absence from these digs. After the last blow-out we had here I suffered a bout of alcohol-induced amnesia and somehow or another ended up down in Belfort, labouring under the delusion that I was the mayor of said town. But I'm back and will indeed cast my "Aye" vote for Sailor_Steve. Glad to have you among the barmy mate, and further glad for yet another bar tab to abuse. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 09/03/1812:41 AM
Gentlemen, now all moved in and settled...for the most part...aye to sailor steve and jara...welcome!! Missed the festivities and rounds of ale and spirits!! Will be sailing the Med on a cruise for 18 days as of 6 September. Will return 24 September and hopefully resume my conversations with this group of extraordinary gentlemen! Will hopefully be flying in the next 24 hrs. My apologies again for being absent, life got turnrd upside down like the members of BWOC..take care gents! Cheers!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 09/03/1806:59 PM
Good to see you back Lou missed your talents and stories. Welcome Sailor Steve I believe I have noticed you the Sub Sim forum. I too have a passion for the WWII Submarine Service. John
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 09/05/1803:12 AM
HumanDrone
Um, the bat is with me in Jamaica at the moment, being blessed by the rastaman and infused with the essence of Appleton rum. I should have it back by the end of the week. Proper care of our esteemed equipment must not be overlooked! It is standard military requirements as you know.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 09/09/1802:31 AM
Oh, thank God it's saf.... JAMAICA!!! GET BACK TO YOUR UNIT! HOW ON EARTH DID YOU WANGLE A LEAVE LIKE THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF WAR? (On second thought, I think I'll see if the CO can send me to get you...)
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/16/1802:55 AM
Gentlemen!
I feel a cricket match in the offing!! We need Lou to ready said cricket bats and prepare for an over due evening of frivolity and the quenching of parched throats for this League of extraordinary gentlemen!! What say you all my friends! It has been way to long since we all swilled fine spirits and ale together and regaled one another of our tales of conquest and near death in the air! I will bust open my wallet and plunk down a hefty stipend to cover the first hour of consumption and the endeavours of our faithful barkeep!! Join me one and all you Barmy, daft, and slightly left of center gentlemen! I raise a toast to all of you!! Cheers!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/16/1812:29 PM
How timely you are Deej, I have just finished sanding down the cricket bat and refinishing it with a lovely coating of lacquer. It was quite a job and I am adequately parched to do your suggestion justice. Three fingers of Tullamore dew for Lou who I am sure will be along soon, and an equal share of Lagavulin with a splash of water for myself please.
I would like to raise a glass to all those brave souls who have proudly kept the spirit of WOFF and BWOC alive in these trying times!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/16/1801:22 PM
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Outstanding idea, here here! Or there there, I'm not particular. By the way Deej, that's a nasty googly you have there, might want to see someone about it.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/16/1809:58 PM
Lou, Sir Robert!
Nicely done in having said cricket bats laquered and ready Robert! Tullamore, three fingers for Lou! A nice Lagavulin for you Robert to quench the parchness of your throat! The bar tab is officially running...now if we can just find some poor subject to paddle with said cricket bat in the name of frivolity!! Lou my medical practitioner told me drink plenty of fluids and gave me 2 aspirin for that nasty googly and told me it was all in my head! I say...here I sit drinking plenty of fine fluids to sooth said googly! Gentlemen I raise a toast to you both! Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties..and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and her Commonwealth last for a thousand years Barmy Offers will still say.. This was their finest hour! The bar is now officially open good Sir Robert and Sir Lou! Let us gather the Barmy Offers to come hither and partake in swilling fine spirits and ale and begin a long session of frivolity! Release the cricket bat from its confines..let the games begin!
This is not the end. This is not even the beggining of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of rhe beggining.
I couldn’t resist some fine Churchillian quotations at the commencement of our festivities! Please gents drink copiously from the barkeeps fountain of youth until my wallet is dry and you thirst no longer!! Cheers!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/18/1812:34 AM
Ah yes gentlemen!
You daft and left of center Barmy Woffers.. Purveyors of fine spirits and quality ale!! Welcome my friends Humandrone & Mr Dirt! Come forth to said bar and I will purchase you both the elixir of your request! Drink heartily from the barkeeps fountain of life spring and dare I say watch out for sir Robert brandishing said cricket bat! Bask in the success of our survival and regale each other with tales of glory! Gather our clan of Barmy Woffers to this oasis of fine drink and enjoy some rowdy frivolity before the CO returns! A toast to this league of extraordinary gentlemen! To your health! Cheers!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/18/1801:22 AM
May I hum Brahm's 'Academic Festival Overture' while drinking my Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout with a round for everyone who'll listen? It's German music but since I like to fly German aircraft that's okay... right? There's a joke in there!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/19/1812:28 AM
OK Human Drone! Have some black coffee first before I tell the tale! Brahms was awarded an honorary doctorate from the University of Breslau. The university expected more than a 'thank you note' as Brahms was so informed. Telling Brahms he had to do this or he had to do that was not what you tell Brahms!!! He was miffed to get suckered into having to write music for the 'doctorate'. Being the cheeky devil he was he took a bunch of school drinking songs and 'converted' them into 'classical' music for a special occasion tongue-in-cheek! Can you imagine the surprised look on the 'upper crusts' faces when they started to recognize the tunes? It's was brilliantly hilarious! Brahms is one of my faves! He kept a chair in his house that had a 'bad leg' and loved to seat society, especially female society, and watch them turn turtle backwards in that chair! Can you imagine how funny that would be especially when you don't have a society like we do now that will sue because you look at 'em cross eyed!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/20/1812:14 AM
Ohh... ohh. That was sho lurvly, fine shir! CAN'T HE TELL A SHTORY, GUYShh? GET HIM A ROUND ON ME! GET EVERYONE A ROUND! GET ME A ROUND! WHO'SH SCHTILL AROUND?! Whishtle... er HUM me a lullaby! Let'sh shee.... who knowsh mebbe a lullaby? Beethoven'sh lullaby? Bach'sh lullaby? I dunno...
<THUMP!> (HumanDrone is only good for 1 Guiness...)
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/28/1803:58 PM
Gents!
A fine job you are doing emptying my wallet of its monetary stipend with the purchase of fine spirits and ale!! Continue with tales of glory, frivolic banter and general rowdiness. I will settle up with the bar keep shortly for our outstanding tab!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/28/1804:15 PM
Here's a round for those poor ' basket danglers'! You know... the fellas stuck under those huge inflammable gas bags! I've never seen a chute open, yet, for the ones I've gotten. Poor devils!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/28/1810:31 PM
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Alright you lot, lend me your ears. Having quaffed a sufficient number of stouts as well as a full six fingers of Aberfeldy I am now properly adjusted and am moved to recite a classic bit of poetry as regards our calling.
(Amid hoots, whistles, and cheers of encouragement, Lou weaves his way to the middle of the room, climbs upon a table, straightens his tunic, drains yet another stout that is handed up to him, clears his throat, and begins.)
The Flight to Flanders, by Lessel Hutcheon of the RFC.
Does he know the road to Flanders, does he know the criss-cross tracks With the row of sturdy hangars at the end? Does he know that shady corner where, the job done, we relax To the music of the engines round the bend? It is here that he is coming with his gun and battle 'plane To the little aerodrome at - well, you know! To a wooden hut abutting on a quiet country lane, For he's ordered overseas and he must go.
Has he seen those leagues of trenches, the traverses steep and stark, High over which the British pilots ride? Does he know the fear of flying miles to east-ward of his mark When his only map has vanished over-side? It is there that he is going, and it takes a deal of doing, There are many things he really ought to know; And there isn't time to swot 'em if a Fokker he's pursuing, For he's ordered overseas and he must go.
Does he know that ruined town, that old --- of renown? Has he heard the crack of Archie bursting near? Has he known that ghastly moment when your engine lets you down? Has he ever had that feeling known as fear? It's to Flanders he is going with a brand-new aeroplane To take the place of one that's dropped below, To fly and fight and photo mid the storms of wind and rain, For he's ordered overseas and he must go.
Then the hangar door flies open and the engine starts its roar, And the pilot gives the signal with his hand; As he rises over England he looks back upon the shore, For the Lord alone knows where he's going to land. Now the plane begins to gather speed, completing lap on lap, Till, after diving down and skimming low, They're off to shattered Flanders, by the compass and the map - They were ordered overseas and had to go.
(At this point Lou, who had been getting progressively more wobbly as his recitation went on, loses what little footing he has left and to the roar of applause goes arse-over-tea-kettle backwards into the crowd. He is helped to his feet, propped against the bar, and handed another pint.)
Thank you, thank you, you are gentlemen and scholars each and every one of you. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/29/1809:59 AM
There once was a bored Hun in the sun Who thought hunting gasbags would be fun So he made a great dive At a hundred and five But his wings only made ninety one.
He was shocked and appalled As he fluttered and stalled For though his engine still thundered From his wings he was sundered While the gasbag crew looked on enthralled.
No wreath took they down to his coffin For such sights were seen all too often And scattered there lay 'Cross Belgique and Francais They whose patience and time had auslaufen.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/01/1802:43 AM
Very fine recitations Gentlemen, very fine indeed. May I pay to set you fine fellers another round of whatever you like. Just let me find my hidden cash stash, oh there it is Drinks on me boys step right up!!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/12/1812:39 AM
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Listen up you lot, I've an announcement of import! It appears Nowi, several month ago, made application to be counted among our ranks, however said application was overlooked somehow, (I'm blaming it on a temporary rift in the space-time continuum). Regardless of the reason, this oversight shall not stand. I recommend that Nowi be made immediately a member of questionable standing in our little group. "Aye!" says I. What say you all?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/12/1812:48 AM
That was an application? I thought it was the “stationary” for our latrines. My bad, I’ve used it all up. I say he’s in! Now, where is that cricket bat again?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/12/1802:54 AM
Good sirs, I would like to officially put forth my application to join your upstanding club. I do believe Mr Raine would ve willing to vouch for me after I ply him with a guiness or six.
I will mention that after a couple of drinks, I tend to enjoy buying many rounds for my friends!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/12/1801:20 PM
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DC, you are qualified and then some to join this barmy lot. Plus, any man who is so willing to spend his stipend on rounds for the club has my vote. "Aye!" says I!
Now where is Robert with that cricket bat, likely off shining it up again. I feel he's grown a bit too fond of it, but then who I am to talk. I once had a pet rock, named it Wilton Gneiss, carried him around with me nearly everywhere I went. Lost him fishing out in Lake Superior one day, slipped and dropped him overboard. I was crushed, just stood in the boat crying out, "WILTON! WILTON! Come back Wilton!"
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/12/1805:31 PM
Originally Posted by Fullofit
That was an application? I thought it was the “stationary” for our latrines. My bad, I’ve used it all up. I say he’s in! Now, where is that cricket bat again?
I think I've found the claims board member.
Welcome to the madness, Nowi and Dark_Canuck. Im glad there's two of you. I thought I was seeing double.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/13/1812:40 AM
S! S! S! S! S!... I'm not saluting... that's how many Oatmeal stouts I want in 'Benny Hill' speak ! Oh... welcome to the club... you'll be sorr... I mean ... love it!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/13/1805:20 PM
Well, we can at least tell real jokes.
The Rittmeister is KIA and goes to heaven. He reaches the Pearly Gates and is ordered to halt by St. Peter. "What's the problem," MvR asks? "Can't let you in!" "What? I'm the leading aerial ace of the war. I wear the Blue Max! What do you mean I can't get in?" "You're a Rittmeister," St. Peter answers. "You have to be on a horse. Back you go!"
Well, von Richthofen floats through the ether and lands in the Berliner Dom on a Sunday, sitting in a pew right next to the Kaiser himself. The Kaiser is in shock, when he sees von Richthofen. :What is this? Why are you here? You're ... todt!"
MvR explains what happens and the Kaiser loses his temper. "How dare that upstart refuse entry to one of this country's most decorated heroes!" The Kaiser grabs MvR by the arm and the two men head from the Dom back to the Pearly Gates.
When they arrive, an angry Kaiser demands that St. Peter open the gates for von Richthofen. St. Peter shakes his head. "Why won't you let this Blue Max recipient in?" the Kaiser demands to know. "Well," St. Peter answers, for one he doens't follow directions. I told him to come back with a horse and he returned with a jackass!"
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/13/1811:34 PM
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Fullofit, there's this guy, Mister Ritt, and he's driving his Kia to a Pearl Jam concert, but he can't get through the gate, I think because he lost his ticket. So this other guy, I think his name is Max, is trying to help him get past this other guy, Peter Saint-somebody-or-other who I'm guessing is the bouncer. Anyway, this Peter guy tell's 'em they can't come in unless they bring some whores with them, so they go back and on the way they get hungry and pick up some kaiser rolls and cold cuts so they can make hero sandwiches, and --- no wait --- first they go and get their jackets and then --- no wait --- I swear I just had it. Let me get another pint'a and I'll sort it out. It's funny though, it really is.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 12/01/1805:33 PM
What’s all this banter...and all these empty gasses and steins? Groggily... I look up from my self induced nap behind the bar surrounded by empty and half drank bottles of Spirits and ale including some unknown size 12 shoe impressions outlined on my flight jacket! I think my wallet has been totally vacuumed of it’s thickish banknotes!! I awoke due to the roar of laughter by this fine lot to Nowi’s and Lou’s jokes! I must pick up where I left off? Did Sir Robert hide the cricket bat or did he take them home to sand and put a new coat of varnish on them?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 12/04/1805:19 PM
Oh, the Cricket bat, yes, um, I believe it is in the stock room where I last remember using it to stir up some fine gin! Gee, I wonder if the C.O. is still trying to locate all those missing potatoes?
I shall retrieve it at once! Who will be the lucky recipient of it's attention?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 12/05/1811:07 AM
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Excellent! Robert and the sacred bat have rejoined us after an extended, and unexcused, absence - but as gin production was involved all is forgiven. Now then, where are our most recent members? You lot go grab Nowi and Dark_Canuck, and Sailor_Steve as well, I don't believe any of them have been properly beaten, eer-uum, initiated yet. Pile up the furniture lads, time to add some more boot prints to the ceiling!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 12/05/1810:21 PM
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No hoods, capes, or torches Raine, I believe that's the Elks Club.
For our new members here who are unfamiliar with it, here is a brief outline of what they have to look forward to: Each new initiate will place themselves upside down upon the wooden school chair, perched atop a precarious pile of furniture in the Mess, with the soot-encrusted soles of their flying boots pressed firmly against the ceiling. Vice President Dej, or in his stead Robert, (or for that matter any other senior member who wishes), shall then give each initiate three whacks with the cricket bat, following which the initiate shall recite the words, "Oooh Matron! Is that a dodo in my trousers?", in an octave higher than his normal speaking voice. Upon descending from the perch each new member shall then be given a glass of Warsteiner which they will raise in salute to our assembly, saying "Per dementia ad astra!", at which we shall all down our drink in one.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 12/23/1808:47 PM
Originally Posted by Sailor_Steve
Don't know how I missed this before, but yeah, I do believe I qualify. My own lack of grip on reality is compounded by the fact that I have the same addiction with WW2 Submarine simulations and with a WW1 and 2 (and Korea and modern) sim/game that I've played with friends on hobby shop game floors with model aeroplanes for the past forty years.
A friend of mine (now sadly gone) once told us that he was apparently talking in his sleep, because over breakfast the next morning his wife asked him "What does 'break left' mean?"
Aha! I knew I'd sheen you beef- sheen you bee *hic* sheen ubefur. Shtand shtill you shwabbie, you obviously don't have your land legs or you'd be shtanding shtill like *hic* like *hic* like me. Neither does your twin or that other guy on your left who looks jusht like you too. *HIC* Shouldn't be in the offishers bar without your land legs, itsh bad form. All of shtand shtill, you're making me shea shick.
Now, "Break left" means, tacitcally turning left as fast as you can without breaking anything. Like thish...
*tries to perform a right turn and falls through the mess's new piano*
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 12/24/1811:38 AM
Originally Posted by RAF_Louvert
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No hoods, capes, or torches Raine, I believe that's the Elks Club.
For our new members here who are unfamiliar with it, here is a brief outline of what they have to look forward to: Each new initiate will place themselves upside down upon the wooden school chair, perched atop a precarious pile of furniture in the Mess, with the soot-encrusted soles of their flying boots pressed firmly against the ceiling. Vice President Dej, or in his stead Robert, (or for that matter any other senior member who wishes), shall then give each initiate three whacks with the cricket bat, following which the initiate shall recite the words, "Oooh Matron! Is that a dodo in my trousers?", in an octave higher than his normal speaking voice. Upon descending from the perch each new member shall then be given a glass of Warsteiner which they will raise in salute to our assembly, saying "Per dementia ad astra!", at which we shall all down our drink in one.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 04/20/1901:23 AM
Hah! What a bunch of crazies!!
Let's see....rule one...huh! I've actually had that happen to me! Okay, rule two...oh, I've done that too...err...rule three? All my virtual pilots' AI wingmen have backstories? Yeah, right! I only came up for backstories for Lemoine, Jacky-Boy, Switch-Off, Jimmy...Reynard....er....little Devienne.....uhh.....and McHarg, Teddie Lawson, Victor Vertadier......
Huh.
...okay....rule 4....Nope! Not me! No maps on my desktop! Oh, wait, what's this stack of folded up papers?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 04/20/1911:37 AM
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Gentlemen, and I use the term most loosely, we have another new vict - err - umm member. Welcome aboard Wulfe, your tab has been started at the bar and will be abused most heartily. And speaking of abuse - Robert! The cricket bat, if you would be so kind.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 04/20/1912:34 PM
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To quote the eightscore young blondes and brunettes of the Castle Anthrax: "A spanking, a spanking!" To be fair though, in this case it's really more of, "A beating, a beating!"
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 04/20/1912:45 PM
And now if you qould be so kind to begin the piping in of the bat I will present said illustrious instrument to our leader, Lou to administer the rights of passage! But first, a round to whet the whistle of our piper!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 04/20/1907:39 PM
Wulfe, are you sure you still want to join? Believe me, no amount of padding in your trousers will help. Welcome to the Brotherhood, Get used to seeing this room from the worm’s eye perspective, a lot.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/08/1904:04 AM
Well, as of now, I drive one of these French Morane Parasol crates in Feb 1915 in a recon/bombing role for my observer. A nice chap but a bit reserved. I got into this lark 'cause the sheilas love a uniform and a bit of this and that. I dunno, they think I'm a bleedin' hero or something he he! You know, fighting for king and country, freedom against tyranny etc. I really think they just enjoy a good serve. So, I try to keep my head down and stay out of strife with the brass and not endanger myself too much. I'm angling for a "blighty", not too bad see, but enough to get me out of this conflict before it gets dangerous. I'm working on it and have a plan. But, if you think I'm gonna tell you, well, you're bloody barmy. Anyway, thanks to the free flight training I received, I aim to set up a flying machine business back in the old dart taking up rich young ladies for a bit of a thrill if you know what I mean.
So that's it, do I qualify and where's the bloody bar?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/08/1906:27 AM
Originally Posted by catch
Well, as of now, I drive one of these French Morane Parasol crates in Feb 1915 in a recon/bombing role for my observer. A nice chap but a bit reserved. I got into this lark 'cause the sheilas love a uniform and a bit of this and that. I dunno, they think I'm a bleedin' hero or something he he! You know, fighting for king and country, freedom against tyranny etc. I really think they just enjoy a good serve. So, I try to keep my head down and stay out of strife with the brass and not endanger myself too much. I'm angling for a "blighty", not too bad see, but enough to get me out of this conflict before it gets dangerous. I'm working on it and have a plan. But, if you think I'm gonna tell you, well, you're bloody barmy. Anyway, thanks to the free flight training I received, I aim to set up a flying machine business back in the old dart taking up rich young ladies for a bit of a thrill if you know what I mean.
So that's it, do I qualify and where's the bloody bar?
You just know that this chap survived the war, became involved in some horse racing racket and ended up driving a Jag at some point in the 1970's
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/08/1910:41 AM
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Another fellow with a less-than-firm grip on reality wishing to be with us, eh? Excellent, the more the barmier. Catch, from your above ravings I'd say you are more than qualified to join our cadre. "Aye!" says I. What say the rest of you, or at least those of you currently capable of stringing together a lucid response.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/08/1910:48 AM
Not so fast Catch! First you need to attend the meet and greet with our illustrious leader "Lou", the membership and last but not least, to keep everything cricket, an encounter with our batman. Then you may attend the bar and empty your pockets in celebration.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/08/1911:32 AM
I have to say I must be a tad barmy... anytime I am near a computer, day or night, I log into simhq and the WoFF forums to see if there is a new post of interest to peruse or a video to watch! My other half often tells me I'm barmy, and half expects me to be wearing my flying helmet and goggles when she walks in and catches me playing WoFF with that 'mad expression' on my face... (it's actually pure concentration)
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/08/1911:58 AM
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Trooper, I don't see your name anywhere on the "Roll Call Of The Barmy". Might we take this as your official application to join? By my reckoning you far surpass the required minimums and your mental state seems clearly in question. We're always looking for more bar tabs to take advantage of.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/08/1901:41 PM
lol... I find myself strangely applicated... Thank you Lou for your consideration and good judgement of my character. And AP, I believe I resemble that picture somewhat... less the tongue of course, that would be just... barmy!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/08/1909:08 PM
Originally Posted by Robert_Wiggins
Rise up dear Sir and sing us a rousing song to go with the indoctrination!
Out of songs at the moment Robert, but how about some of my WOFF-inspired poetry from BOC celebrations gone by. (apologies to Kipling fans everywhere)
There's a Legion that never was listed, That carries no colours or crest, And it serves in such barmy detachments, That it's poor understood by the rest. Our forebeares they left us their blessing, They taught us, and groomed us, and crammed; But we've shaken the ancient few pixels To go and find out and be damned, Dear lads! To go and get shot and be damned.
So some of us fly for the Kaiser, And some of us soar for the King, And some rise up for La Marseillaise, And some for old Sam take to wing: And some of us drift up to Ypers, And some drift across to the Somme, And some share our tucker in Soissons, And some at St. Mihiel do bomb, Dear lads! At St. Mihiel get giddy and bomb.
We've painted old Flanders vermilion, We've washed the old Alsace in red, We've shouted on simulat battle, We've flown until we were dead; We've laughed at the world as we found it, From high in the spurious air, From Zeebrugge on down to Mulhausen We've battled with nary a care, Dear lads! We've flown with nary a care.
The damned depths of Hell were our portion, And Heaven at large was our share. There was never a skirmish too windward But the Virtual Legion was there: Yes, somehow and somewhere and always We were first when the trouble began, From a recce flight over old Lille, To a dogfight on high over Thann, Dear lads! We mounted and fought over Thann.
We preach in advance of the Army, We skirmish ahead of the Crowds, With never a general to help us When we're dying above in the clouds. But we know as the cartridges finish, And we're filed on our last little shelves, That the Legion that never was listed Will send barmy ones as ourselves, Good men! Hundreds barmy, just as ourselves!
Then a health (we must drink it in whispers), To our wholly unauthorized horde, To the line of our dusty foreloopers, The RB3D'ers adored. Yes, a health to ourselves ere we scatter, For flight simmers won't wait for the train, And the Legion that never was listed Goes back into quarters again! Regards! Goes back in the skies once again. Hurrah! The Sop and the Alby again. Here's how! The Vickers and Spandaus again. Salute! Wings O'er Flanders Fields once again!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/10/1905:55 AM
A poetic masterpiece Lou erm I mean Your Eminence. Your undeniable talents M'Lord are only exceeded by your good looks and fine physique. Surely you are related to Lord Byron yes. By jove, Your Majesty look on the floor! A ten pound note! Must've slipped out of your waistcoat pocket. Here, let me put it back for you. There …. now Sir may I be so bold as to enquire how my application to join this esteemed Gentlemen's club is proceeding? MFair and Bobby W are both united as to my good character and barmyesque behavioural traits appropriate for such an establishment. I am also a dab hand with a cricket bat and an Irish whiskey. Which brings me to the …. the initiation. Oh Great and Wise One please excuse my candidness …. but in my profession the batman makes the tea and ensures the shaving water is just so. He never wields a bat, either aggressively or for sport. That kind of thing is above their cognitive abilities as you would well know. May I perhaps take on that role. But of course I leave the final decision to you oh Intelligent and Insightful One. Now I must be off. I have some downloading business to which I must attend. The pleasure has been all mine.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/10/1911:18 AM
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catch, laying it on a bit thick, aren't we? Let me just state that neither my opinion nor my judgement can be swayed by such blatant buttering-uppery, true as your statements concerning my talents, good looks, and Atlas-like physique may be. And I would be remiss in my duties as club president if I were to let these obvious attempts to sway --- ah, so there's where that tenner's got to. Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, this tea could stand a bit of warming and a wee splash of the Irish, there's a good man. Now then, having considered all the qualifications of our newest candidates, and having heard no dissenting votes - though to be fair we've never had a dissenting vote so I'm not really sure what one would sound like anyway - let me be the first to welcome catch and Trooper117 to the Barmy OFFers Club. Glad to have you aboard gentlemen, the term being used in its broadest application here. Trooper will be along posthaste as he is off looking for the other ten pound note I've lost. catch, if you would be so kind as to rouse our Robert from his alcoholic slumbers and bring both him and our most hallowed cricket bat along, we can proceed to the initiation ceremony. And to that, it should be noted that even batmen in the BOC shall first be batted men. To the chair atop the furniture pile you go!
Everyone, we have new members and bar tabs to abuse! BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/10/1902:25 PM
Well....I've heard all about this exclusive club for those thoroughly hooked/dependent on as much WOFF as possible with a bent for absurdity and am very interesting in joining said club.
Ok...the truth is it's pissing down outside and I can smell a bar from another continent.....so anyway my credentials.
Number 1 is a definite, in fact I've sat there in company with obviously such a serious expression on my face that I'm asked what's up? When in fact I'm wondering how the HELL that claim was disallowed when the half the ffin Jasta was there!....and if I don't get a confirmed kill soon I'm going to hang that wingman up by his buster browns!!
Number 4 is a yes. In fact my missus wanders where all the writing pads go....I think she wonders if I'm writing love letters to the milkman.....well I could....but only if he's interested in the exact spot I flamed that Pup and the name of the nearest witness.
I can do better than number 13. I have CD's of German, British, French and US WW1 marches and tunes and often play these in the background as I fly my missions. I also have all these and more similar tunes on my phone to listen to on long journeys....or short journeys...or when cooking. I have yet to DJ them at a party though....that's the next notch for me.
Number 19 is a huge yes. In fact I don't get asked what I would like for Chrimbo or Birthdays anymore....I get asked if I'm going to make room before the next one arrives. A few months ago my copy of The Blue Max by Jack Hunter got ruined due to getting thoroughly wet (by rain!!! I'm daft....not dangerous)....it's replacement was in my possession within 24 hours via Amazon because I paid for next day delivery....even my missus/kids Chrimbo pressies take longer than that.
I could go on...but hopefully I've demonstrated not only the hopelessness of my WOFF addiction....but the barmyness which only comes from far too much Goons and Monty Python.
Now..... a whiskey top please barman...what's on top of the whiskey?.... another whiskey obviously!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/10/1902:38 PM
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Well done Simes, I'd say you are most certainly one cylinder short of a rotary. But not quite so quick on that bar order my good man, there'a a process here you know, albeit a sketchy one admittedly. "Aye!" says I, to bringing Simes into the BOC fold. What say you lot, shall we warm up the bat for another one? I'm sensing an epic blow-out in the making.
And Trooper, to each his own, but in my opinion a drink should never be pink, and only gin if it is accompanied by a wisp of vermouth and two olives, (shaken, not stirred).
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/10/1904:26 PM
Originally Posted by RAF_Louvert
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Well done Simes, I'd say you are most certainly one cylinder short of a rotary. But not quite so quick on that bar order my good man, there'a a process here you know, albeit a sketchy one admittedly.
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Abso...bleedin...lutely. I'm not sentimental.... I'm FULLY mental....as they say.
Ok re the drink.....but bars and I have this special understanding....they help me fall over whereas I prop them up.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/11/1905:12 PM
The GOONS?!?! Really? I haven't heard of them in years! Were they not the venerable performers of the Ying-tong song? Peter Sellers was a member of that venerable crew of certified screwballs!
Now, if Lou gets back here with that cricket bat... If I could just give him a holler, I'm here in the Minneapolis airport on a layover!
(Hmm. I think I just killed our BWOC immersion factor!)
<Ahem> After the solemn and stately initiation beating ahhh, ceremony, I'll have a nice, fresh Guinness!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/11/1907:06 PM
Ahh, Minneapolis airport. I spent a year there one day. Do they still have the electronic Englishwoman who announces over the intercoms something along the lines of, "Parents, mind your children at the end of the moving walkway"? I was madly in love with her. Then I met Alexa.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/12/1909:18 AM
Originally Posted by HumanDrone
The GOONS?!?! Really? I haven't heard of them in years! Were they not the venerable performers of the Ying-tong song? Peter Sellers was a member of that venerable crew of certified screwballs!!
They were the originals and still the best. Hugely influential. People have reservations about Spike Milligan but he was an absolute loon in the funniest sense. Anyone who had the words 'See! I told you I was Ill' engraved on his headstone is alright by me.
....and apparently they enjoyed a tipple or two..... speaking of which....where's that bloody whisky.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/12/1903:07 PM
The bar is on the left... and there's another one that looks exactly like it nearby but it keeps swaying back and forth. Typical shoddy workmanship,w e'd better help ourselves to the liquor before it all falls off the side.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/13/1912:14 AM
I'm deeply honoured and yes …. moved …. to be even within spitting distance of this fine establishment. The initiation of the bat was splendid in tandem with the complementary cheap blended whisky. Yes, I think this is my kind of place! What's Lou doing on the floor? And to see my name up on the honour roll was such a bally thrill I almost spilt my aged single malt! Of course I didn't but if I'd spilt it here it wouldn't have mattered. Ah the shoddy furniture has been assembled! I'm gettin' on that wonky old chair now! MFair, grab us an Irish will you there's a good chap. Here's cheers to the BOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/13/1911:12 AM
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It's official, having met our most strenuous entrance requirements and financial investigation into his ability to pay his bar tab, Simes is now a member of questionable standing in the Barmy OFFers Club. Welcome aboard Simes!
As to why I am down here on the floor, the better question would be why are you lot way up there by the ceiling? Barkeep! Three fingers of the Aberfeldy 21, neat, on our newest member's tab if you would be so kind. BWOC BWOC BWOC! Oooo, look, a peanut!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/13/1911:17 AM
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I should mention for the benefit of our new members, there are still a few of our spiffing club pins available. Please follow the link for further information and PM me if you are interested in purchasing one. Christmas is coming, you really should treat yourselves.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/13/1907:29 PM
Originally Posted by RAF_Louvert
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It's official, having met our most strenuous entrance requirements and financial investigation into his ability to pay his bar tab, Simes is now a member of questionable standing in the Barmy OFFers Club. Welcome aboard Simes! .
That's great news, I haven't been this happy since the closing titles of Red Baron started.
Since everyone else is drowning themselves in scotch I'll keep the debit bank balance within mathematical boundaries and have a pint of sludge please barman.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/15/1909:55 PM
Dynamix's original Red Baron? Those were the days. I remember they actually used 3D models instead of 2D sprites and you could even see the wires holding the wings on! Such detail. My levels of immersion were increased to epic proportions that summer holiday by those jaggy bracing wires and the nice little scene that played every time you won a gong. You could even see the medals on your character's tunic in the career menu. If someone had told me what was in store for the future I would have completely freaked out.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/16/1907:43 AM
Originally Posted by Ace_Pilto
Dynamix's original Red Baron? Those were the days. I remember they actually used 3D models instead of 2D sprites and you could even see the wires holding the wings on! Such detail. My levels of immersion were increased to epic proportions that summer holiday by those jaggy bracing wires and the nice little scene that played every time you won a gong. You could even see the medals on your character's tunic in the career menu. If someone had told me what was in store for the future I would have completely freaked out.
To be honest I was being a bit sarcastic (even though I'm truly honored to be a member of the Barmy OFFers club obviously). The Red Baron I was referring to was that bloody awful film a few years back. The one where they thought it 'historically accurate' to portray Lanoe Hawker as a fat full bearded bloke who screamed like a baby when in a fight....and put him in an SE5?!? They also seemed to have only shot one air fight scene for the whole film but broke it up into half a dozen pieces......and the fact you can apparently hear a mouth organ being played in mid air with unmuffled engines.....I could go on but won't.
It was about as accurate a film as you recording me holding and moving two paper planes about going "neeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh" now and again.
As for Red Baron the game, I only started playing when Red Baron II came out.....and the rest is history...I've been hooked on air combat sims ever since. The dogfights in that game are still some of the best ever and I still have a good workable version on my PC today.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/16/1908:34 AM
The original title was "Von Richthofen and Brown" from memory. The "novel" wasn't much better.
The movie was typical Hollywood dross and follows their format of missing the point entirely, getting everything wrong and using a historical premise to promote "class" resentment which dishonours both classes in the process as well as the historical figures. Luckily these days we don't need that garbage to get a glimpse of the past! Next round is on me chaps!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/16/1911:44 AM
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We at the BOC have a special honour for Roger Corman's classic "Von Richthofen and Brown" in which the new lads serve as the throwers.
"PULL!" BOOM BOOM!
It's so satisfying to watch that masterpiece-o-s explode in midair and rain down its pulverized bits everywhere. It only takes one shot if you're good but we all use both barrels simply because we hate it so much, and as tribute to the overkill style Corman was so fond of. And, because it gave the movie rave reviews when it was first released, we also toss up rolled copies of the New York Times and turn them to confetti as well. Oh look, an original Betamax edition of "VR&B" in mint full color box, this could be worth a pretty penny.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/16/1912:10 PM
I always loved taking that second shot from the over and under t pick half of the clay I'd already hit and pulverise it some more. Sorry, just a natural "show off" I guess.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/16/1912:56 PM
I think it's a close call between Richthofen & Brown and The Red Baron as to who claims the award for total bollocks.
The fact that they think it's accurate to have Boelcke, Richthofen, Udet, Voss and even Goring in the same Jasta at the same time. Jeez if the allies had only known that earlier, one decent bomb drop on that chateaux full of aces and you've won the war......or 'var' as they say in that film. 'Ve vant tu vin ze var'.....in an accent so contemptible it makes Allo Allo look like Downfall.
As for the Red Baron.....ok let's create an historical masterpiece by having MvR and Brown land together in a beautiful tranquil (and crater free) No Man's Land, have a chat about war and girls....and then bugger off back to base. Because that happened just about every day didn't it....or Lothar von Richthofen being such an obnoxious little runt you'd have happily seen him flamed in scene one . Or Werner Voss (yes the 19 year old) being so old in the film he could have been MvR's dad...in fact it wouldn't have surprised me if they'd made that a storyline too.
Both films could have been brill, but both are complete cobblers...and actually an insult to the pilots (supposedly) involved.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/16/1901:32 PM
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"Allo Allo" is indeed sacred ground, we simply enjoy that one as the classic that it is.
As to the recent "Red Baron" film, the good thing about it is it's readily available in used DVD copies, and those things sail so nicely when trap shooting.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/16/1901:36 PM
Unironically, "Allo Allo" presents a more realistic portrayal of the German occupation than a lot of "historical" narratives. A bunch of hidebound bureaucrats covering their asses with more force at their disposal than common sense.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/16/1902:22 PM
If anyone is interested...
I had an uncle who lived just out of Eindhoven during WW2. He was arrested by the SS twice. (First time for stealing a Wehrmacht officer's cap from a kubelwagen nt long after the occupation began, and then afterwards for throwing a half a brick through SS HQ's first floor window in 1944. He was fined for both offenses and, after being trialed by the local Gauleiter, was sent home and given one hell of a hiding by his old man. He told me that he was was probably very lucky that his father was on good terms with the mayor but he also intimated to me that most people were more afraid of the allied bombing campaign than they were of the Germans who generally treated them with respect.
This may have been because he saw a B-24 eat #%&*$# just outside his home in Feb or March 1944 (Probably part of the "Big Week" or "Operation Argument" campaign), Apparently he saw it go straight in, vertically leaving a crater that was stilll there until the 1950's
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/17/1912:19 PM
Barmy chaps, I thought we might have a moving picture night. Something different. Perhaps this Friday. After the ceremonial furniture stacking, king of the chair presentation, and accordant bonfire of course! Ladies strictly prohibited due to their sensitive nature. Man the bars chaps and present your glasses. Cheers to the BOC!
Following is the authentic moving picture biography (with the new recorded sound sensation) of the early life and times of unknown WW1 aviator Percy Bounder. Only a penny's admission (for non-members) and guaranteed satisfaction. Crank it up Lou!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/17/1903:17 PM
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Bravo, catch! Cinematic genius! And now for a cinematic Guinness to go with it. Reminds me of one of my early film endeavors from back in the old OFF days, (over nine years ago now, how time does fly, and in much the same way a Camel does). Enjoy!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/17/1904:39 PM
Haha that's brilliant Lou, you give alcoholics everywhere a far better name with that sort of jaunt. Much like this chap....."I'll tell you what Bert, I've got a stonking idea, I'm going to land in that tree over there and pretend to be a bird. The German's will never spot us"
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/23/1901:15 AM
Chaps! I SAID CHAPS!! Get off the floor and rearrange your trousers. No, I mean pull 'em up. HD's back offering drinks! Lou, one of your drinking songs please ….
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/23/1901:33 AM
Have I missed much, boys? Had a bit of shuteye in the mess cloakroom. Think the water in the whisky was a little off, you know. Damnable stuff, water. Only good for putting under bridges. Lou, sorry about the greatcoat. It will come right off with a bit of elbow grease. Ah, Catch! Welcome. Saw your last picture. Splendid stuff. Did I miss a round?
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/25/1912:41 PM
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How marvelous. Another weekend is fast upon us and we have so many fresh bar tabs we can continue to take liberties with. But as it is still morning I shall have a fresh hot cuppa' with just a splash of the Tullamore Dew, if you would be so kind. Must pace myself you know, don't want to wind up in low places before happy hour.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/25/1902:28 PM
Bumped into some American chappie who gifted me something called 'bon bon' or was it 'Bourbon'... strange stuff, but it does the job alright. He told me to mix a little honey in it for a better effect... by jove it's good stuff. By the way I've hidden the bottle in the mess... bet you lot can't find it!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/25/1902:38 PM
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Found it! Very clever Trooper, hiding it in the hole in wall behind the picture of King George V. Your mistake was when you replaced said picture you hung it right side up. It always hangs upside down so that we can better salute it just before passing out.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/25/1902:47 PM
Originally Posted by RAF_Louvert
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Found it! Very clever Trooper, hiding it in the hole in wall behind the picture of King George V. Your mistake was when you replaced said picture you hung it right side up. It always hangs upside down so that we can better salute it just before passing out.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/30/1905:39 AM
Sorry chaps I'm a bit ginned up, tight as a nun's habit. Spifflicated. So it was like this see … while HD crawled around the floor singing tearfully about a girl darning his socks or summat, Trooper and me binged on his yank whisky last night! Cor, before you know it we were smashing furniture, stuffing Lou's ceremonial robe into the hole behind George's head and boarding it up and chucking chairs through the windows. And playing snooker with the initiation bat! Can't remember who won that one? But talk about larf! Haven't had this much fun since the worn obturator rings blew a cylinder right off the old clerget 5 miles over. Anyway, must dash. Send the cleanup bill to Troopers batman. He's a stout fellow so Trooper tells me and will take care of it with the utmost tact and diplomacy. Cheerio!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/30/1911:40 AM
Tact and diplomacy has been initiated... Lou's robe has been returned, (sorry for the stain... Mullard, my batman, says you can hardly notice it now), and he's on his way to town as we speak as he has already done a little deal to obtain some rather nice antiquated chairs... (20 Squadron will hardly notice they are missing apparently) ... and my head hurts if anyone is interested!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/30/1912:00 PM
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hmmmm, well, as long as my robe has been returned and replacement furniture is on the way, (and Trooper, all our heads hurt, so stop your whimpering). But what about the windows, we just put new butcher's paper in those last week. What bothers me most is the disrespect shown our most hallowed BOC relic, the cricket bat - playing snooker with it?! This transgression shall not stand. All those involved in said snooker game will be dealt with most harshly, or rather their bar tabs will. Though now that I think further about it, after dealing with said bar tabs a game of snooker may well be played on the offenders' collective arses with the sacred cricket bat - poetic justice if you will.
Hey, wait a tic! I had half of a perfectly good cigar and a stick of gum in the pocket of my robe, along with two shillings and the blip switch from Robert's plane - you bunch of thieves.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 10/31/1901:53 AM
Hmmmm from where did I acquire this cheap, foul smelling stogie? My flannels are ruined. " Jenkins! Get these disinfected now there's a good chap. What's that? Two shillings! Put 'em next to the blip switch." Good Lord, what's this on the spittle encrusted side!
"Property of smudged head executive director and extraordinary leader of the B smudged Club, holder and custodian of the bat, dispenser of justice, master of ceremonies and robe wearer of distinction. If found, please return in good condition to the quarters of the distinquished and chisel featured gentleman Mr smudged at No. smudged Camelcourt Dr smudged smudged."
Blast! Who is this? Sounds a little barmy to me.
"Jenkins, get onto Mullard and see if he can make some sense of it! Oh leave the stogie here. I'm out of woodbines"
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/01/1912:26 PM
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Fellow club members, as it is my birthday today I am standing everyone to a drink, not on my bill mind you, but still it's the thought that counts. At some point during the festivities, (no rush of course), one of you may want to check on catch as he seems to have gotten himself locked in the outdoor privy. How he got the Crossley backed up against the door after he was inside is a mystery to me, but there you are. I wouldn't be concerned at all about his situation if it weren't for the fact that a badger has taken up residence underneath said privy and has a nasty habit of coming up through one of the portals if anyone lingers in there too long, which is why most of us have abandoned the thing. Ah well, I'm sure catch will be fine, he is such a resourceful chap. Thoughtful too, leaving his tab open for all of us to enjoy during his temporary absence. Drink up lads. BWOC BWOC BWOC!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/01/1901:40 PM
Ah, Catch.....The phrase "Balls to the walls" comes to mind! Would one of you fine lads be so kind as to pass the cricket bat through the portal of the outdoor privy door! I think Catch might benefit from it to ward of any intruders. Wouldn't want the man to lose his jewels.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/01/1901:53 PM
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Robert, that would be showing disrespect to our sacred cricket bat, and I'll have no more of that. I believe there's a 3-iron around here somewhere you could pass through to catch if you feel he needs it. I suppose one of us should go looking for the keys to that Crossley - maybe after the next round of drinks.
Thanks gents for the birthday wishes, much appreciated.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/01/1905:50 PM
Only top drawer for our illustrious leader Sir! I may regret it in the morning before the dawn patrol but right now, I am all in on this as will be my wallet for some time to come it seems! BWOC BWOC BWOC
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/07/1912:10 PM
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Not sure what all transpired towards the end of our most recent celebrations as I drifted off then, (Aberfeldy makes me sleepy). However, something of interest clearly went on as I awoke this morning to find my barrister's wig turned inside out and sitting sideways on my head and the keys I normally keep beneath said wig stuffed into the toe of my left boot. Further, when I went out to retrieve the Crossley from in front of the privy, I found catch had remained locked in the outhouse all night. When I opened the door he was standing there, looking a tad on the ragged side, and trying to saw away the boards of the back wall with a pastry knife. Also present was the the badger, on the floor of the privy, unconscious or possibly dead, with a large knot on its head and a rather bent 3-iron lying next to it. catch was out of there in a shot, asking if I'd seen Fullofit and muttering something under his breath about getting two pounds owed him. Ah well, I'm sure it's nothing. Of additional note, ever since waking up I've had an irresistible craving for a large piece of cake and a burlesque show. Go figure.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/07/1912:29 PM
Catch, got the £10 note and I put everything back the way I found it. It was tricky to get the keys that deep into Lou’s boot with his leg still inside. I was on my way, passing the bordello when the girls came out on their way to ... erm ... to the church! Yes, that’s where they were going. They’ve asked if I wanted to attend the morning prayers with them. They were already on their knees. I had no choice. You will have to find another £10. I gave it away to charity. They were collecting it for the badger sanctuary. It is such a worthy cause. I hope you don’t mind. - Girls! Wait for me!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/07/1903:00 PM
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A badger sanctuary, what a worthy cause. I'd donate to it myself if it weren't for the fact that someone has gotten into my safe and lifted the money I had in there, along with all my other valuables. Now I have to fill out an insurance claim - again. Let's see, there was 50 quid, no wait, 100 quid; my Gruen watch, or rather my Rolex, yes, it was a Rolex; and of course my 200 first issue shares in Ford Motor Company. Oh, and my mint condition 1911 Ty Cobb card. I think that was everything, but I better have another cuppa' and ponder on it a bit longer, don't want to forget something and shortchange myself.
And AM88, if you've brought refreshments you're never too late.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/07/1905:28 PM
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Oh yeah, paintings. I had a couple of Picassos and a Van Gogh in there now that I recall. Thanks for reminding me Maeran, would hate to have forgotten about those. As to that woman with the strange smile and following teeth, I think she's involved with the badger sanctuary.
Barkeep! A Glenmorangie 18 for our stout fellow with the good, yet spotty memory.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/08/1902:30 AM
Originally Posted by Fullofit
Catch, got the £10 note and I put everything back the way I found it. It was tricky to get the keys that deep into Lou’s boot with his leg still inside. I was on my way, passing the bordello when the girls came out on their way to ... erm ... to the church! Yes, that’s where they were going. They’ve asked if I wanted to attend the morning prayers with them. They were already on their knees. I had no choice. You will have to find another £10. I gave it away to charity. They were collecting it for the badger sanctuary. It is such a worthy cause. I hope you don’t mind. - Girls! Wait for me!
What! You spent Lou's my 10 quid on some sordid Freudian sexual perversion fantasy! This is not a Wagnerian opera Fullofit. This is real life. Here, take this battered, stinkin' expired badger and wrap it in Lou's ceremonial robe. He likes badgers. It's a thing I guess?
"Jenkins! The cut-throat razor! On the double man!"
I must look my best. I'm off to Chu Chin Chow at His Majesty's tonight {sings the refrain to"Any Time’s Kissing Time" wildly off key}. I have my eye on a certain chorus girl who does whizzo things.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/08/1902:38 AM
Catch, did you want me to put the barrister’s wig on the “pretending-to-be-dead” badger too? Please don’t sing. You’re making the badger twitch. I know which girl you’re talking about. She won’t do a thing without the said badger. Now you understand why Lou likes them.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/08/1905:52 AM
If I could get my 6 year old Nephew to sign "Picasso" to his paintings I'd be a billionaire. Imagine how safe we'd be from badgers in the badger sanctuary with a billion dollar budget. I could be up to my ears in Veuve Cliquot and Caviar safe and still have some left over for monocle polish.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/08/1905:18 PM
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"I say, have you any Picassos about? But before you answer I must warn you, I anger easily and I may go all badger on your arse if I don't get what I want."
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/08/1905:59 PM
Here we go again! Who put the Tasmanian Devil in the badger pen? Don’t you know Lou gets confused easily? Now no one’s going to take him seriously. Say goodbye to your Picassos with an enforcer like that. Maybe if we get him drunk enough? No, not Lou - he’s had enough already. I’m talking about the Devil. We can make people out of him yet.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/08/1906:40 PM
I say, bit of a cock up on Patrol today, We were playing Hide and Seek with the Huns at 10000 amid clouds. and it reminded me of the Childhood game, I couldn't see a thing so yelled the safe word so they would come out of hiding, ( " Olly, Olly, Oxen ,Free." ) I got the word later on direct from a clerk at HQ that it started with a newly married Dock owner in Brighton who wanted to get Home to his New Bride so he put up a Sign, It read : " All the early Boats get in Free ",and over the years it was corrupted. Not that it mattered no one came out of the clouds anyway,
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/08/1907:54 PM
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Maeran and Fullofit, the reason this particular badger has no stripes is because it is in fact a honey badger. I believe it was Dej who brought back a pair of the little beasties on one of his visits to India a number of years ago. Once here they promptly escaped the pen he had constructed for them behind the mess and have since taken over the local countryside, driving the indigenous striped badgers to other, less hostile ranges. Maeran, to that artwork you mention, I'll send our wigged badger, (honey), over to pick it up.
Carrick, so wait, are you saying all those planes are still in the clouds? Have they entered an inter-dimensional zone of some sort? Inquiring, and slightly inebriated minds want to know.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/09/1901:19 AM
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You are traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the B.O.C. Zone!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 11/12/1903:23 AM
Originally Posted by RAF_Louvert
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"I say, have you any Picassos about? But before you answer I must warn you, I anger easily and I may go all badger on your arse if I don't get what I want."
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GAH! "Jenkins quick my Webley Mk VI."This one's got an eerily familiar and similarly ill-fitting wig on it. Astonishing likeness!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/19/2004:07 PM
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Now there's a fellow who knows how to make a comeback. Glad to see you've come to your senses Jeff, or at least as much as any of us here has. Cheers, and beware the badger!
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/22/2004:18 PM
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Being a Minnesotan myself, I am well aware of your state's badger history Jeff, which is why we here in the land of 10,000 loons - er, lakes - live trap any and all badgers we find and bring them across your western border in the dead of night for release back into their natural home. It's not an ideal solution but for now it's the best we can do, that is until all that promised federal funding arrives. BUILD THAT BADGER WALL! BUILD THAT BADGER WALL! BUILD THAT BADGER WALL!
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Oh, and Beanie, glad to see you in camp again. Welcome back to the barmyness. I'll have a pint'a stout for now, if you please.
Re: The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy? - 01/23/2001:32 AM
Dear glory, that was a hilarious catch-up! Jeff, might I have a pint or two of those? I'm far too sober. I don't want to badger you, though, so please just let me have a few before I wig out!