#4613682 - 11/14/22 09:13 PM
Joke
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 24,056
oldgrognard
Administrator
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Administrator
Lifer
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 24,056
USA
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Tonight I was walking home late when I see a woman in the shadows. “Fifty bucks,” she says.
I’ve never been with a prostitute before, but decided what the hell.
We are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on us – it’s a policeman.
“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.
“I’m making love to my wife,” I answer indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”
“Well,” I said, “to tell the truth neither did I until you flashed that light on her face.”
Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.
Someday your life will flash in front of your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.
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#4613723 - 11/15/22 08:19 AM
Re: Joke
[Re: oldgrognard]
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 1,632
Wigean
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 1,632
Oslo
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Hehe.  :
“We are still in the age of legends. You and I will not enter the promised land. We who have begun always perish before Jericho falls.”
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#4613839 - 11/16/22 06:08 AM
Re: Joke
[Re: oldgrognard]
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 10,113
KraziKanuK
Veteran
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Veteran
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 10,113
Ottawa Canada
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Tonight I was walking home late when I see a woman in the shadows. “Fifty bucks,” she says.
I’ve never been with a prostitute before, but decided what the hell.
We are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on us – it’s a policeman.
“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.
“I’m making love to my wife,” I answer indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”
“Well,” I said, “to tell the truth neither did I until you flashed that light on her face.” Kinky
There was only 16 squadrons of RAF fighters that used 100 octane during the BoB.
The Fw190A could not fly with the outer cannon removed.
There was no Fw190A-8s flying with the JGs in 1945.
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#4614759 - 11/24/22 08:52 PM
Re: Joke
[Re: oldgrognard]
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,678
CyBerkut
Administrator
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Administrator
Hotshot
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,678
Florida
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A blonde wanted to try out ice fishing. She went out and purchased all the gear she would need and headed to a local spot to try to catch some fish.
She went out onto the ice with her gear and after getting comfy on the stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice as she had seen on the internet. As she was cutting, she heard a voice from the heavens speak out, saying, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The blonde was startled. She stood up and looked around but saw no one. Cautiously, she moved a little further out onto the ice and set up in a different spot. She sipped some hot chocolate from her thermos and then started cutting another hole. Again, the voice called out, seemingly from all around her.
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Now feeling quite scared and starting to get a bit frustrated, she moved all the way to the far end of the ice and laid out all her gear, sat upon her stool and started cutting another hole. Right away, the heavenly voice boomed out, this time louder than ever, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!".
She jumped off her stool and looked all around her. She shouted to the heavens, "IS THAT YOU, LORD?"
The voice answered, "NO. THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE SKATING RINK. THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Happy Thanksgiving, folks!
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#4614924 - 11/26/22 11:39 PM
Re: Joke
[Re: oldgrognard]
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,619
KRT_Bong
It's KRT not Kurt
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It's KRT not Kurt
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,619
Sarasota, Florida
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The Airline Pilot came on the intercom and said "Hello this is your Captain speaking, first I have a little good news".
"You are all going to be on TV tonight".
Windows 10 Pro
Gigabyte 970A DS3P FX
AMD FX6300 Vishera 3.5 Ghz
ASUS STRIX GeForce GTX 970 Overclocked 4 GB DDR5
16Gb Patriot Viper 3 RAM DDR3 1866Mhz
Onikuma Gaming Headset (has annoying blue lights I don't use)
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#4614926 - 11/27/22 01:00 AM
Re: Joke
[Re: CyBerkut]
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,703
WangoTango
Hotshot
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Hotshot
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,703
Ontario, Canada
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A blonde wanted to try out ice fishing. She went out and purchased all the gear she would need and headed to a local spot to try to catch some fish.
She went out onto the ice with her gear and after getting comfy on the stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice as she had seen on the internet. As she was cutting, she heard a voice from the heavens speak out, saying, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The blonde was startled. She stood up and looked around but saw no one. Cautiously, she moved a little further out onto the ice and set up in a different spot. She sipped some hot chocolate from her thermos and then started cutting another hole. Again, the voice called out, seemingly from all around her.
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Now feeling quite scared and starting to get a bit frustrated, she moved all the way to the far end of the ice and laid out all her gear, sat upon her stool and started cutting another hole. Right away, the heavenly voice boomed out, this time louder than ever, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!".
She jumped off her stool and looked all around her. She shouted to the heavens, "IS THAT YOU, LORD?"
The voice answered, "NO. THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE SKATING RINK. THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Happy Thanksgiving, folks!
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#4614935 - 11/27/22 02:07 AM
Re: Joke
[Re: KRT_Bong]
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,985
wormfood
Member
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Member
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,985
Texas
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The Airline Pilot came on the intercom and said "Hello this is your Captain speaking, first I have a little good news".
"You are all going to be on TV tonight". LOL and UH OH!
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![[Linked Image]](https://SimHQ.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/download/Number/43272/filename/FB_IMG_1667760515648.jpg)
![[Linked Image]](http://www.simhq.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/SimHQ1.png)