#4608126 - 09/09/22 12:08 PM
A Personal Passing
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,879
RAF_Louvert
BOC President; Pilot Extraordinaire; Humble Man
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BOC President; Pilot Extraordinaire; Humble Man
Senior Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,879
L'Etoile du Nord
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With the loss of Queen Elizabeth II, and the world mourning her passing, it seems a fitting moment to share that my family and I have also seen a passing - my mother, Marilyn. Turning 95 years young this last April, she departed to sing with the Choir Invisible four weeks ago, on August 13th at just after one in the morning. My wife and I had been taking turns staying with her in her final weeks so that she could continuing living in her own home, a home by the way which she had purchased on her own as a single woman while still in college in 1949, (she had to have one of her uncles actually sign for the loan as most banks would not lend money to unmarried women back in those days no matter how much collateral they had). She was mobile and able to get around on her own, with some assistance, until the final week, at which point we had to bring a hospital bed into her living room and move her to it. Always an independent and strong-willed person, she was not happy with the move, but she begrudgingly accepted it as it was the only option that allowed her to stay in the home she loved. Her last few days were spent mainly sleeping, but when awake she would enjoy some coffee and pastries while visiting with friends and family who would call on her, and she would comment about how nice the lake looked and how pretty the flowers were this year, (she had always been an avid gardener and took great joy in it throughout her life). Her last time awake was only for a few moments, just long enough to look at a bouquet of cut flowers a neighbor had brought by while she was sleeping. She focused on them, smiled, and fell asleep for the final time. We should all be so lucky.
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#4608132 - 09/09/22 12:33 PM
Re: A Personal Passing
[Re: RAF_Louvert]
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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 1,523
BuckeyeBob
Member
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Member
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 1,523
Ohio, USA
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Dear Lou,
I am truly sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved mother. Please allow me to be one of the first of many to offer my condolences. Although my own mother passed over 30 years ago now, I still think about her almost every day. I hope you will be able to take some degree of solace that she lived a full and happy life, and that she died in her own home, surrounded by friends and family. I'm sure she will be greatly missed by all who knew her.
Chris
“With Major Lawrence, mercy is a passion. With me it is merely good manners. You may judge which motive is the more reliable.”
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#4608134 - 09/09/22 01:02 PM
Re: A Personal Passing
[Re: RAF_Louvert]
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,105
Raine
Member
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Member
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,105
New Brunswick, Canada
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Lou,
You have my deepest sympathy for the loss of your mother, and my admiration to you and your wife for the wonderful job you did making her last days content and comfortable. My wife's mum has been living with us since 2018. Since late 2019 she has been affected by dementia, now full-blown Alzheimer's. We have painfully reached the point where care for her at home has become impossible. It's particularly hard on my wife, who once told her mum that she would never be sent to a nursing home. But between her mum's Alzheimer's and my ALS, it's all too much and this afternoon we are taking mum to the nursing home for the first time. We've been praying that she could go peacefully at home as your mum did. That's what she clearly wanted.
So while one cannot ignore the pain of loss, know that you gave your mother the best closing chapter possible and that you should be very proud of everything you have done for her.
Cheers,
George
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#4608167 - 09/09/22 04:42 PM
Re: A Personal Passing
[Re: RAF_Louvert]
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Joined: Dec 2018
Posts: 382
Becker01
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2018
Posts: 382
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Sorry for ypur loss @Lou, my english is not good enough for the level, which I need for such a situation. So let me say it on this way: Maybe it is difficult the first time, try to be thankful, that your mother could die at home, in peace and via the soft bridge from sleep to death.
Greetings!!
Last edited by Becker01; 09/09/22 04:44 PM.
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#4608191 - 09/09/22 08:47 PM
Re: A Personal Passing
[Re: OvStachel]
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 823
CaptSopwith
Barmy WingNut
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Barmy WingNut
Member
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 823
United States
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.
With the loss of Queen Elizabeth II, and the world mourning her passing, it seems a fitting moment to share that my family and I have also seen a passing - my mother, Marilyn. Turning 95 years young this last April, she departed to sing with the Choir Invisible four weeks ago, on August 13th at just after one in the morning. My wife and I had been taking turns staying with her in her final weeks so that she could continuing living in her own home, a home by the way which she had purchased on her own as a single woman while still in college in 1949, (she had to have one of her uncles actually sign for the loan as most banks would not lend money to unmarried women back in those days no matter how much collateral they had). She was mobile and able to get around on her own, with some assistance, until the final week, at which point we had to bring a hospital bed into her living room and move her to it. Always an independent and strong-willed person, she was not happy with the move, but she begrudgingly accepted it as it was the only option that allowed her to stay in the home she loved. Her last few days were spent mainly sleeping, but when awake she would enjoy some coffee and pastries while visiting with friends and family who would call on her, and she would comment about how nice the lake looked and how pretty the flowers were this year, (she had always been an avid gardener and took great joy in it throughout her life). Her last time awake was only for a few moments, just long enough to look at a bouquet of cut flowers a neighbor had brought by while she was sleeping. She focused on them, smiled, and fell asleep for the final time. We should all be so lucky.
. Very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is rough, but losing Mom is the hardest. Be happy and look back on the memories she provided to you and your family. So good that you had her for as long as you did. She sounds like she was a great person and a joy to be around!
I, like many of us, have come to realize that this time in life is very difficult. We loose friends, family and our pets. Seems we begin to realize that life really is short, and must be enjoyed to it's fullest as best we can.
I lost both my father and mother within 1 month of each other at the end of 2019, and begining of 2020. Was very difficult, but time and my loving family showed me that life goes on and loss is something we all face.
My sincere condolences to you and your family. May she rest in peace.
Best regards.
James I am so terribly sorry for your loss, Lou. I'm heartened by the fact that you could spend some time with her before the end, but the loss is still overwhelming. I also wanted to pass my condolences to James - you have both been kind friends to me over the years. I lost my own mother at just 65 a few years ago and it's still a hard loss to fathom. Keeping you both in my thoughts.
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#4608201 - 09/10/22 12:00 AM
Re: A Personal Passing
[Re: RAF_Louvert]
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,704
Rick_Rawlings
Senior Member
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Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,704
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Would that we could all have such a good run, and such kind children to care for us into the end.
The older I get, the more I realize I don't need to be Han, Luke or Leia. I'm just happy to be rebel scum...
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#4608212 - 09/10/22 06:07 AM
Re: A Personal Passing
[Re: RAF_Louvert]
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Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 795
Albert Tross
Flight Sim Nut
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Flight Sim Nut
Member
Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 795
UK
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Very sorry to hear of your loss. It sounded like your mum had a long and happy life alongside the people who mattered to her and you should hopefully find solace in that. It's still your mum though and I know the distress caused by the loss of one's parents.
I hope you find comfort and distraction in this wonderful hobby obsession of ours as soon as you are able.
Albert
"A great deal of an aeroplane could be holed without affecting its ability to fly. Wings and fuselage could be—and often were—pierced in 50 places, missing the occupants by inches (blissfully unaware of how close it had come until they returned to base). Then the sailmaker would carefully cover each hole with a square inch of Irish linen frayed at the edges and with a brushful of dope make our aircraft 'serviceable' again within an hour."
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#4608318 - 09/11/22 04:04 AM
Re: A Personal Passing
[Re: RAF_Louvert]
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 841
Shredward
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 841
Lake Louise, AB Canada
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Dear Steve, It was Elizabeth who noted “Grief is the price we pay for love”. As one floods, it washes over the other, but know that, in time, the flow will reverse and ebb, and the love that you shared with her will again fill your soul, and the memory of her will again bring you joy, for she will remain within you. All the best, Ted
We will remember them.
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#4608355 - 09/11/22 01:41 PM
Re: A Personal Passing
[Re: RAF_Louvert]
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 428
loftyc
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 428
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. ..... We should all be so lucky.
. from what you've said about the care she received from her family, she was indeed very lucky. and I expect it was more than the flowers that helped her to smile.
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#4608377 - 09/11/22 08:32 PM
Re: A Personal Passing
[Re: RAF_Louvert]
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 997
HumanDrone
Just shoot me...
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Just shoot me...
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 997
Near Pittsburgh, PA USA
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Steve, I'm very sorry to hear of your mother's passing, but I hope it brings you great comfort that she passed in the way that she did. May she rest in peace and rise in glory! What a story you gave us in those few words, an exceptional woman indeed.
And James, same to you. To lose both parents that close together is a tough thing to get through. This happened to my wife's cousins about 12 years back.
We're coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my step-father-in-law's passing. He also was able to stay at home until the end with the help of hospice care, and was surrounded by family right to the end.
Box: Win7 Pro 64 bit / I72600K @4.1 GHz / EVGA GTX1080Ti/ 16GB RAM / Corsair 240 GB SSD / WD 600 GB Velociraptor / 1050W Power FS Stuff: Saitek X52 Pro Stick/Throttle & Combat Rudder Pedals, TrackIR 5 Sims: FSX Gold, REX 2.0 OD, UTX-NA, FSGenesis 10m mesh/ CFS3 ETO 1.40/Wings Over Flanders Fields BH&H2 (more gorgeous than ever!) Proud BOC inductee 4/30/12!
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#4609106 - 09/20/22 10:54 AM
Re: A Personal Passing
[Re: RAF_Louvert]
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,064
Sandbagger
Hotshot
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Hotshot
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,064
Coningsby, Lincs, UK
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So sad Lou - thoughts are with you and your family, Mike
Alienware Aurora R5 Windows 10 64 bit Intel i7-6700K 4.2Ghz Two GTX 1080 Foundations in SLI (8 Gig each) 32 Gig DDR4 2133Mhz 1TB SSD boot drive - 1TB SATA storage drive 5.1 Surround Sound 34" Dell Ultra Sharp U3415W (3440x 2440) CH Pro-Pedals, Stick and Throttle TrackIR-5 Pro
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#4612135 - 10/27/22 10:24 PM
Re: A Personal Passing
[Re: RAF_Louvert]
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 7,993
Robert_Wiggins
BWOC Survivor!...So Far!!
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BWOC Survivor!...So Far!!
Hotshot
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 7,993
Lindsay, Ontario, Canada
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Lou;
I'm just seeing this now and I don't know why I missed it. For some reason my SimHQ was not being updated. Please accept my late condolences and I am also sorry for your loss. I know it has been a long and trying road you have tread. I know you will reflect on the rich moments you spent with your mom.
Best Regards to you and yours.
Case: Cooler Master Storm Trooper PSU: Ultra X3,1000-Watt MB: Asus Maximus VI Extreme Mem: Corsair Vengeance (2x 8GB), PC3-12800, DDR3-1600MHz, Unbuffered CPU: Intel i7-4770K, OC to 4.427Ghz CPU Cooler: Cooler Master Seidon 240M Liquid CPU Cooler Vid Card: ASUS GTX 980Ti STRIX 6GB OS and Games on separate: Samsung 840 Series 250GB SSD Monitor: Primary ASUS PG27AQ 4k; Secondary Samsung SyncMaster BX2450L Periphs: MS Sidewinder FFB2 Pro, TrackIR 4
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CD WOFF
by Britisheh. 03/28/24 08:05 PM
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