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#4608126 - 09/09/22 12:08 PM A Personal Passing  
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,879
RAF_Louvert Offline
BOC President; Pilot Extraordinaire; Humble Man
RAF_Louvert  Offline
BOC President; Pilot Extraordinaire; Humble Man
Senior Member

Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,879
L'Etoile du Nord
.

With the loss of Queen Elizabeth II, and the world mourning her passing, it seems a fitting moment to share that my family and I have also seen a passing - my mother, Marilyn. Turning 95 years young this last April, she departed to sing with the Choir Invisible four weeks ago, on August 13th at just after one in the morning. My wife and I had been taking turns staying with her in her final weeks so that she could continuing living in her own home, a home by the way which she had purchased on her own as a single woman while still in college in 1949, (she had to have one of her uncles actually sign for the loan as most banks would not lend money to unmarried women back in those days no matter how much collateral they had). She was mobile and able to get around on her own, with some assistance, until the final week, at which point we had to bring a hospital bed into her living room and move her to it. Always an independent and strong-willed person, she was not happy with the move, but she begrudgingly accepted it as it was the only option that allowed her to stay in the home she loved. Her last few days were spent mainly sleeping, but when awake she would enjoy some coffee and pastries while visiting with friends and family who would call on her, and she would comment about how nice the lake looked and how pretty the flowers were this year, (she had always been an avid gardener and took great joy in it throughout her life). Her last time awake was only for a few moments, just long enough to look at a bouquet of cut flowers a neighbor had brought by while she was sleeping. She focused on them, smiled, and fell asleep for the final time. We should all be so lucky.

.

#4608128 - 09/09/22 12:17 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 860
OvStachel Offline
Member
OvStachel  Offline
Member

Joined: May 2012
Posts: 860
Long Island, NY
Very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is rough, but losing Mom is the hardest. Be happy and look back on the memories she provided to you and your family. So good that you had her for as long as you did. She sounds like she was a great person and a joy to be around!

I, like many of us, have come to realize that this time in life is very difficult. We loose friends, family and our pets. Seems we begin to realize that life really is short, and must be enjoyed to it's fullest as best we can.

I lost both my father and mother within 1 month of each other at the end of 2019, and begining of 2020. Was very difficult, but time and my loving family showed me that life goes on and loss is something we all face.

My sincere condolences to you and your family. May she rest in peace.

Best regards.

James


The Black Baron of Boistrancourt returns!!

I'd rather die fighting, than live for nothing. - Gen. G.S. Patton
#4608132 - 09/09/22 12:33 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 1,523
BuckeyeBob Offline
Member
BuckeyeBob  Offline
Member

Joined: May 2016
Posts: 1,523
Ohio, USA
Dear Lou,

I am truly sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved mother. Please allow me to be one of the first of many to offer my condolences. Although my own mother passed over 30 years ago now, I still think about her almost every day. I hope you will be able to take some degree of solace that she lived a full and happy life, and that she died in her own home, surrounded by friends and family. I'm sure she will be greatly missed by all who knew her.

Chris


“With Major Lawrence, mercy is a passion. With me it is merely good manners. You may judge which motive is the more reliable.”
#4608134 - 09/09/22 01:02 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,105
Raine Offline
Member
Raine  Offline
Member

Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,105
New Brunswick, Canada
Lou,

You have my deepest sympathy for the loss of your mother, and my admiration to you and your wife for the wonderful job you did making her last days content and comfortable. My wife's mum has been living with us since 2018. Since late 2019 she has been affected by dementia, now full-blown Alzheimer's. We have painfully reached the point where care for her at home has become impossible. It's particularly hard on my wife, who once told her mum that she would never be sent to a nursing home. But between her mum's Alzheimer's and my ALS, it's all too much and this afternoon we are taking mum to the nursing home for the first time. We've been praying that she could go peacefully at home as your mum did. That's what she clearly wanted.

So while one cannot ignore the pain of loss, know that you gave your mother the best closing chapter possible and that you should be very proud of everything you have done for her.

Cheers,

George

#4608167 - 09/09/22 04:42 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: Dec 2018
Posts: 382
Becker01 Offline
Member
Becker01  Offline
Member

Joined: Dec 2018
Posts: 382
Sorry for ypur loss @Lou,
my english is not good enough for the level, which I need for such a situation. So let me say it on this way: Maybe it is difficult the first time, try to be thankful, that your mother could die at home, in peace and via the soft bridge from sleep to death.

Greetings!!

Last edited by Becker01; 09/09/22 04:44 PM.
#4608191 - 09/09/22 08:47 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: OvStachel]  
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 823
CaptSopwith Offline
Barmy WingNut
CaptSopwith  Offline
Barmy WingNut
Member

Joined: May 2003
Posts: 823
United States
Originally Posted by RAF_Louvert
.

With the loss of Queen Elizabeth II, and the world mourning her passing, it seems a fitting moment to share that my family and I have also seen a passing - my mother, Marilyn. Turning 95 years young this last April, she departed to sing with the Choir Invisible four weeks ago, on August 13th at just after one in the morning. My wife and I had been taking turns staying with her in her final weeks so that she could continuing living in her own home, a home by the way which she had purchased on her own as a single woman while still in college in 1949, (she had to have one of her uncles actually sign for the loan as most banks would not lend money to unmarried women back in those days no matter how much collateral they had). She was mobile and able to get around on her own, with some assistance, until the final week, at which point we had to bring a hospital bed into her living room and move her to it. Always an independent and strong-willed person, she was not happy with the move, but she begrudgingly accepted it as it was the only option that allowed her to stay in the home she loved. Her last few days were spent mainly sleeping, but when awake she would enjoy some coffee and pastries while visiting with friends and family who would call on her, and she would comment about how nice the lake looked and how pretty the flowers were this year, (she had always been an avid gardener and took great joy in it throughout her life). Her last time awake was only for a few moments, just long enough to look at a bouquet of cut flowers a neighbor had brought by while she was sleeping. She focused on them, smiled, and fell asleep for the final time. We should all be so lucky.

.

Originally Posted by OvStachel
Very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is rough, but losing Mom is the hardest. Be happy and look back on the memories she provided to you and your family. So good that you had her for as long as you did. She sounds like she was a great person and a joy to be around!

I, like many of us, have come to realize that this time in life is very difficult. We loose friends, family and our pets. Seems we begin to realize that life really is short, and must be enjoyed to it's fullest as best we can.

I lost both my father and mother within 1 month of each other at the end of 2019, and begining of 2020. Was very difficult, but time and my loving family showed me that life goes on and loss is something we all face.

My sincere condolences to you and your family. May she rest in peace.

Best regards.

James


I am so terribly sorry for your loss, Lou. I'm heartened by the fact that you could spend some time with her before the end, but the loss is still overwhelming. I also wanted to pass my condolences to James - you have both been kind friends to me over the years. I lost my own mother at just 65 a few years ago and it's still a hard loss to fathom. Keeping you both in my thoughts.

#4608201 - 09/10/22 12:00 AM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,704
Rick_Rawlings Offline
Senior Member
Rick_Rawlings  Offline
Senior Member

Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,704
Would that we could all have such a good run, and such kind children to care for us into the end.


The older I get, the more I realize I don't need to be Han, Luke or Leia. I'm just happy to be rebel scum...
#4608212 - 09/10/22 06:07 AM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 795
Albert Tross Offline
Flight Sim Nut
Albert Tross  Offline
Flight Sim Nut
Member

Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 795
UK
Very sorry to hear of your loss. It sounded like your mum had a long and happy life alongside the people who mattered to her and you should hopefully find solace in that. It's still your mum though and I know the distress caused by the loss of one's parents.

I hope you find comfort and distraction in this wonderful hobby obsession of ours as soon as you are able.

Albert


"A great deal of an aeroplane could be holed without affecting its ability to fly. Wings and fuselage could be—and often were—pierced in 50 places, missing the occupants by inches (blissfully unaware of how close it had come until they returned to base). Then the sailmaker would carefully cover each hole with a square inch of Irish linen frayed at the edges and with a brushful of dope make our aircraft 'serviceable' again within an hour."
#4608215 - 09/10/22 08:30 AM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,213
Trooper117 Offline
Hotshot
Trooper117  Offline
Hotshot

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,213
UK
So sad to hear the news Lou... it's a hard thing to bear I know. I held my sisters hand as she slipped away after they turned off the machine that was keeping her alive... that moment will stay with me forever.

#4608238 - 09/10/22 01:18 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 8,138
Polovski Offline
Polovski  Offline

Hotshot

Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 8,138
As we get older I think all of us have something like this happen. My sincere condolences to you Lou. To be fair, it's a great way to go surrounded by friends and family for your last days and seeing things you love around you, then passing in your sleep. My mum died when I was a teenager, she was 39, a long time ago, but I still think of her, and it still hurts.


Regards,

Polovski,
OBD Software, developers of immersive flight sims;
Wings Over Flanders Fields and Wings Over The Reich
http://www.overflandersfields.com
http://www.wingsoverthereich.com
#4608318 - 09/11/22 04:04 AM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 841
Shredward Offline
Member
Shredward  Offline
Member

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 841
Lake Louise, AB Canada
Dear Steve,
It was Elizabeth who noted “Grief is the price we pay for love”.
As one floods, it washes over the other, but know that, in time, the flow will reverse and ebb, and the love that you shared with her will again fill your soul, and the memory of her will again bring you joy, for she will remain within you.
All the best,
Ted


We will remember them.
#4608355 - 09/11/22 01:41 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 428
loftyc Offline
Member
loftyc  Offline
Member

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 428
Originally Posted by RAF_Louvert
.
..... We should all be so lucky.

.

from what you've said about the care she received from her family, she was indeed very lucky. and I expect it was more than the flowers that helped her to smile.

#4608372 - 09/11/22 07:40 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 221
mandrews Offline
Member
mandrews  Offline
Member

Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 221
South Carolina
She sounds like a terrific woman. It would have been a great pleasure to know her. My deepest condolences to you and your family.


i7-7700 @ 3.6GHz, 32GB DDR4 RAM, SSD (OS) + SSD (Games), GTX 1070 Ti, Acer Predator Z35p 3440x1440 GSync
#4608377 - 09/11/22 08:32 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 997
HumanDrone Offline
Just shoot me...
HumanDrone  Offline
Just shoot me...
Member

Joined: May 2012
Posts: 997
Near Pittsburgh, PA USA
Steve, I'm very sorry to hear of your mother's passing, but I hope it brings you great comfort that she passed in the way that she did. May she rest in peace and rise in glory! What a story you gave us in those few words, an exceptional woman indeed.

And James, same to you. To lose both parents that close together is a tough thing to get through. This happened to my wife's cousins about 12 years back.

We're coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my step-father-in-law's passing. He also was able to stay at home until the end with the help of hospice care, and was surrounded by family right to the end.


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#4608625 - 09/14/22 04:12 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 737
epower Offline
Artless Aide-de-camp
epower  Offline
Artless Aide-de-camp
Member

Joined: May 2012
Posts: 737
Lou,

My deepest condolences for the loss of your mom.
They remain extraordinary souls, those of our parents' generation. In life. and now in memory, their greatest legacy remains the way they touched the lives of those who loved them.
I hope you can celebrate your mother's life and in that celebration find both peace and healing.

#4609106 - 09/20/22 10:54 AM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,064
Sandbagger Offline
Hotshot
Sandbagger  Offline
Hotshot

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,064
Coningsby, Lincs, UK
sigh
So sad Lou - thoughts are with you and your family,

Mike


[Linked Image]

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#4609348 - 09/22/22 07:24 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 148
Dezh Offline
Vice President Barmy OFFers Club
Dezh  Offline
Vice President Barmy OFFers Club
Member

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 148
Hampshire, United Kingdom
Sorry to hear of your loss Lou.

Your mum sounds like someone who had a real zest for life.

I make no judgement of your country or countrymen but if the US was as chauvinistic as the UK back in 1949 then your mum was a remarkable woman indeed buying a house single-handedly in her early 20s.

May your God be with you.

Dej


Oh that I was back in the dear old PBI.
With no more Triplanes on me tail, nor tracer tracing by.
And no more flames and clickerty-clack and no more blooming sky,
And only a couple of feet to fall whenever I want to die.

No. 56 Squadron Song
#4610334 - 10/04/22 04:17 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,879
RAF_Louvert Offline
BOC President; Pilot Extraordinaire; Humble Man
RAF_Louvert  Offline
BOC President; Pilot Extraordinaire; Humble Man
Senior Member

Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,879
L'Etoile du Nord
.

Thank you everyone for your most kind words, wishes, thoughts, and prayers, they are appreciated more than you know.

Dej, indeed the US back in 1949 was every bit as chauvinistic as the UK was then.

.

#4612135 - 10/27/22 10:24 PM Re: A Personal Passing [Re: RAF_Louvert]  
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 7,993
Robert_Wiggins Offline
BWOC Survivor!...So Far!!
Robert_Wiggins  Offline
BWOC Survivor!...So Far!!
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Lindsay, Ontario, Canada
Lou;

I'm just seeing this now and I don't know why I missed it. For some reason my SimHQ was not being updated. Please accept my late condolences and I am also sorry for your loss. I know it has been a long and trying road you have tread. I know you will reflect on the rich moments you spent with your mom.

Best Regards to you and yours.


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