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#4569850 - 05/25/21 03:57 AM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: AlbrechtKaseltzer]  
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Originally Posted by AlbrechtKaseltzer
Previously, on THE ADVENTURES OF ALBRECHT "AL" KASELTZER...

Today was Leutnant Kaseltzer's first day at the airfield in Bertincourt...

Wasting no time, the commanding officer assigned Kaseltzer to carry out an artillery-spotting mission. He'd be flying an ungainly Aviatik two-seater, with Hauptmann Wolfgang Graf serving as observer; another Hauptmann, Hugo Ludwig, assumed escort duties in a Fokker Eindecker.

Albrecht found it difficult to continue tracking Ludwig's Fokker E.III through the clouds.

[Linked Image]

Ludwig must have just gotten off course in the clouds and turned back home, Kaseltzer thought to himself, as he prepared to turn back the same way...an hour later, the news reached FFA 32: enemy Nieuport fighters caught Ludwig from behind, and a lengthy battle ensued. Ludwig managed to get in some good shots, but it was all for nothing: the craft was destroyed, and the man was dead.

THE ADVENTURES OF ALBRECHT "AL" KASELTZER, EPISODE 2: "FIRST CONTACT"

12 November, 1915
Bertincourt, France

[Linked Image]

Day two on the job and Leutnant Kaseltzer was already having a stern one-on-one meeting with the commanding officer.

"So, looking over your reconnaissance career so far...it's not looking all that great, Kaseltzer."

"Oh yeah, yeah, it's been horrible."

"Probably the roughest start I've ever seen in all my time here at Bertincourt."

"Right, yeah, sir, I'm probably not cut out for reconnaissance duty after all..."

The C.O. grimaced. "Evidently not."

"...so I totally understand if you have to take me off recon duty. I mean, it'll be tough, since I was totally looking forward to it and spent so much time training for that Aviatik..."

"Well then I hate to break it to you, Leutnant, but we're taking you off two-seater duty altogether."

"...You are?"

"Yes. You're the worst two-seater pilot I have ever seen, and due in part to your ineptitude, we lost our only pilot with single-seater experience - may Hauptmann Ludwig rest in peace." The C.O., a Catholic Bavarian, made a quick sign of the cross. "However, be that as it may, we now have a vacancy in single-seater duty, and given your previous experience, there is a glimmer of a chance that you may be somewhat less of a negative to this unit in the cockpit of an Eindecker."

"You mean I'm the only pilot ready to fly the #%&*$# thing."

"You're the only one who does us less damage in a single-seater than in a two-seater."

"...Sure, I'll take that."

And like that, the C.O. sent Albrecht off on an artillery-spotting mission in a Fokker E.III.

[Linked Image]

Our intrepid hero hadn't even touched the machine before, but he'd had ample experience in similarly-calibrated Morane Saulnier-type models which the Eindecker was based on - one primary difference being that the Fokker's handling was smooth.

Why the C.O. sent Albrecht on an artillery-spotting mission alone was beyond him. Maybe it was "discipline" for yesterday's failed mission? Perhaps the C.O. was hoping Kaseltzer would get shot down?

Of course, it's not like Leutnant Kaseltzer was going to follow instructions anyway: not long after he'd gathered enough altitude to head west towards the front, he spotted a Nieuport 10 on the horizon. As he crept within eyeshot, the paintjob, the insignias, all matched what he'd been told about the nearest enemy rival, French Escadrille N69. It was "go" time.

Ever a fan of living dangerously, Kaseltzer decided that he'd let the Nieuport get the first shot. Well, "decided" might be a bit generous - the truth is that the airman from N69 had the high ground and therefore entered with an inherent advantage. Kaseltzer knew immediately how he was going to counter that, however: he'd make a quick dive while flipping the "blip" switch on and off repeatedly, getting out of harm's way while also reducing his speed so that N69 would wind up in front of him.

The plan paid off. No surprise, really, since Kaseltzer was an experienced single-seater airman.

Only one problem: as much as Kaseltzer knew how to handle an aircraft, he had never so much as touched a gun before in his life. He directed his Spandau towards the Nieuport, fired several rounds, but missed entirely. He could hear the Nieuport pilot laughing as the much more agile craft out-turned him. Sensing that his opponent was about to gain position, Kaseltzer took a look down at the ground to gauge if he had enough room to perform a Split S. Only one way to find out... he thought to himself, as he clutched the stick and entered a roll - a slow, lumbering roll, for the E.III's wing-warping system was infamously heavy on the controls.

Thankfully, he missed the ground. However, he hadn't regained firing position - at least not yet. The Nieuport was still behind him; they now just had their backs to each other. "Time for a sequel..." Kaseltzer muttered.

With a little speed control, Kaseltzer found himself once again in firing range. Performing two Split S's back-to-back cost him some altitude, but it meant that he could now fire at the Nieuport from below - giving him a much larger target at this angle. Knowing that he had to deliver a strong, decisive knock-out blow, he went for it, delivering 70 rounds in the general vicinity of his opponent's upper wing.

It worked: the Nieuport's upper left wing ripped off, sending the airman from N69 straight to the ground below.

Had Kaseltzer finished his mission? No.

Was Kaseltzer going to finish his mission? Also no.

[Linked Image]

Somewhat shaken from his first combat encounter, Kaseltzer headed back to Bertincourt. He knew full well that his claim on the kill would get rejected in the absence of any witnesses, but he didn't care.

Last edited by AlbrechtKaseltzer; 05/25/21 04:32 AM.
#4569858 - 05/25/21 08:11 AM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: AlbrechtKaseltzer]  
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Originally Posted by AlbrechtKaseltzer
Previously, on THE ADVENTURES OF ALBRECHT "AL" KASELTZER...
The C.O. grimaced. "You're the worst two-seater pilot I have ever seen, and due in part to your ineptitude, we lost our only pilot with single-seater experience. However, be that as it may, we now have a vacancy in single-seater duty, and given your previous experience, there is a glimmer of a chance that you may be somewhat less of a negative to this unit in the cockpit of an Eindecker."

"You mean I'm the only pilot ready to fly the #%&*$# thing."

"You're the only one who does us less damage in a single-seater than in a two-seater."

"...Sure, I'll take that."

...not long after he'd gathered enough altitude to head west towards the front, he spotted a Nieuport 10 on the horizon...French Escadrille N69. It was "go" time.

With a little speed control, Kaseltzer found himself once again in firing range...Knowing that he had to deliver a strong, decisive knock-out blow, he went for it, delivering 70 rounds in the general vicinity of his opponent's upper wing. It worked: the Nieuport's upper left wing ripped off, sending the airman from N69 straight to the ground below.

THE ADVENTURES OF ALBRECHT "AL" KASELTZER, EPISODE 3: "NO MAN'S LAND"

15 November 1915
Bertincourt, France

[Linked Image]

Well, sure enough, Al Kaseltzer's claim for shooting down a Nieuport 10C1 from Escadrille N69 got rejected. No eyewitnesses, apparently.

"I'm sorry, Leutnant, but we need more proof than this if you want Die Fliegertruppe to confirm this claim," the C.O. said.

I'm sure N69's got all the proof they need sitting in their empty shed back at Baizieux, Kaseltzer thought to himself. They're going to be out for blood. "Very well, sir."

Granted, Kaseltzer didn't really care one way or the other. This outcome was to be expected; what mattered was that Al had at least proven to himself that he could hang with the enemy.

The next couple days consisted of non-descript patrol missions, mostly artillery spotting, until the C.O. assigned flights for a bombing mission behind enemy lines on 15 November. It seemed like a fairly straightforward mission: Flieger Oglodeck would man the controls for the Aviatik C.I carrying the payload, with Beodachter Voss in the observer's seat. Kaseltzer and Gustav Leffers had escort duty.

Team made it behind enemy lines unnoticed - that is, until they got about 3 miles in (over the town of Albert) and started hearing the dreaded ping!-ping!-ping! from above.

Nieuports. Four of them. Kaseltzer recognized the N69 insignia on all of them, and could even recognize a couple faces from the papers. Paul Malavialle and Robert de Marancour had been somewhat of a thorn in Die Fliegertruppe's side for some time now, and it looked like this flight was going to be the next to get pricked.

[Linked Image]
Photograph: Paul Malavialle (L) of N69 pursuing Gustav Leffers (R)


Kaseltzer soon observed that his second dogfight was going to be nothing like his first. He and Leffers were utterly outmatched, both numerically and technologically; with some clever maneuvering, Kaseltzer could get into position against one Nieuport 10, but he couldn't keep out of position of four Nieuports all at once.

There was a BOOM! to Kaseltzer's right - one of the Nieuports had struck the engine to Oglodeck's Aviatik. Pilot and observer were going down in flames. There was nothing anybody could do about it.

Oglodeck was evidently unconscious, assuming he was still alive at all, but Albrecht caught sight of Voss making a jump for it. From 1500 feet up, he was a dead man. This wasn't escape: Voss was merely choosing the means of his death, and he decided he'd rather jump than burn alive.

But the battle wouldn't pause, and Kaseltzer found himself swarmed by Marancour and another N69 airman. A bullet (or several) struck his Fokker's fuel lines. His seconds in the air were now numbered, and he had no choice but to get back. Making a steep dive, Kaseltzer directed his craft back to the east, in hopes of reaching German lines before running out of fuel.

20%.

He was approaching the edge of French territory.

10%.

No Man's land was in sight.

1%.

He could see the nearest German sector HQ.

0%.

He still had a ways to go before getting out of No Man's Land, but now all he could do was glide.

Unfortunately, N69 had caught up with him following his 1200-foot dive, and multiple Lewis guns were now on his tail.

This was a desperate moment - he HAD to get out of the air, German lines or not. Kaseltzer managed to touch down - however, he hit the ground running, ending in a violent crash-land in the middle of No Man's Land.

[Linked Image]


...TO BE CONTINUED!

Last edited by AlbrechtKaseltzer; 05/25/21 08:36 AM.
#4569883 - 05/25/21 10:50 AM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: AlbrechtKaseltzer]  
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Fullofit Offline
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Fullofit  Offline
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Ajax, ON
Originally Posted by AlbrechtKaseltzer
Originally Posted by Fullofit
I hope Al lives through the war and invents that one and only cure for hungover.

My next pilot's going to be a Scottish man with the last name McHammer, and during dogfights, he'll yell at his opponents "YE CANNAE TITCH THIS, LADDIE!"

All this while the wind was gently buffeting and uplifting his kilt. The Germans protested, quoting The Hague Convention. Ever since then McHammer was forced to wear parachute pants, which one day saved his life and his dignity every other day.


"Take the cylinder out of my kidneys,
The connecting rod out of my brain, my brain,
From out of my arse take the camshaft,
And assemble the engine again."
#4569893 - 05/25/21 01:03 PM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
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trustworthykebab Offline
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trustworthykebab  Offline
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Posts: 220
Kaseltzer, your posts are really really nice. Ever thought of joining us in the DiD campaign? I'm sure your great posts would fit very nicely smile

#4576746 - 08/07/21 02:51 PM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
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Rick_Rawlings Offline
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Rick_Rawlings  Offline
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John Rockitt

94th Aero

June 1918

Near Paris

They moved the squadron to the northwest, which made it a lot less likely that we would get bombed, as the city itself became the target, but also made the flights to the front much more tiring. We have also been encountering the new Fokker scouts, triplanes and biplanes and getting rekt by them! (which is a word I predict will catch on sometime in the near future) We have lost so many pilots, their names blur in my mind. I fear I must follow soon! I just barely escaped death myself recently when I lost my lower right wing fleeing from a pair of Fokker scouts...





The older I get, the more I realize I don't need to be Han, Luke or Leia. I'm just happy to be rebel scum...
#4576752 - 08/07/21 06:01 PM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
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Fullofit Offline
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Fullofit  Offline
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Ajax, ON
Rekt from Latin rectus meaning “straight”, which ironically refers to getting hit in the kister. Our Johnny had a veritable hornet’s nest at his rear. Good thing his buttocks survived the incident intact despite the Huns lacking tact whatsoever.


"Take the cylinder out of my kidneys,
The connecting rod out of my brain, my brain,
From out of my arse take the camshaft,
And assemble the engine again."
#4576770 - 08/08/21 12:53 AM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
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Rick_Rawlings Offline
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Well, I don't know about intact...He's definitely started carrying around a change of shorts!


The older I get, the more I realize I don't need to be Han, Luke or Leia. I'm just happy to be rebel scum...
#4578695 - 08/31/21 12:45 AM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
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Rick_Rawlings Offline
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Karl Spieler

Jasta 2

March, 1917

Between Douai and Cambrai...

As the front shifts we have been moved back, hopping from one field to the next. Still, we have it better than the infantry, furiously digging new trenches as they pitch back and forth. I see them like mad little ants when the siren blows and am thankful I am not down there. Still, there is no safety in the skies, either. I shot down numbers 13 and 14 yesterday: both on fire before they hit, not a pleasant thought...and no sign of this even being close to over...



I've been watching Fullofit's videos and wondering how he drops them so fast, thinking "I've got two guns too!" Well, it turns out that back when I ran the SE5a challenge, I mapped the Lewis and Vickers guns to different buttons, but the game actually applies that to any two guns, so for the last four months or so, I've only been using one gun! Whoops...


The older I get, the more I realize I don't need to be Han, Luke or Leia. I'm just happy to be rebel scum...
#4578697 - 08/31/21 01:22 AM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
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Fullofit Offline
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Fullofit  Offline
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Ajax, ON
Nice shootin’ Tex! Even if it was with just one gun. You pretty much have made a Pup out of that Albatros.


"Take the cylinder out of my kidneys,
The connecting rod out of my brain, my brain,
From out of my arse take the camshaft,
And assemble the engine again."
#4578731 - 08/31/21 01:10 PM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
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Rick_Rawlings Offline
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Heh, no, this one picks up with me using the two guns. The last time I took on some recce, I had to try to pretend to ran him to get him to go down after frustratingly "running" out of bullets!


The older I get, the more I realize I don't need to be Han, Luke or Leia. I'm just happy to be rebel scum...
#4587998 - 12/29/21 12:07 AM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
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Rick_Rawlings Offline
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Rick_Rawlings  Offline
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Rick Rawlings

No. 24 Sqn,

June 1916

Bertangles Aerodrome

Had a big tangle with a bunch of Eindeckers last week. We were doing a line patrol at 7000 feet when we ran into a bunch of them escorting a recon flight. For a bit, it was just avoiding collisions and clearing each other's tails. Then the fight broke up and were on our own for a moment before we found another flight. Then the fight was joined in earnest. I put in claims for two but as they went down over the lines at low altitude, no one else saw them, so no confirmation for old Rick Rawlings! Oh well, I know I did my part in my heart!

Winding my way back on my own, I was amazed to see a train racing full steam across the front, right through No Man's Land! When I landed, I told the others about it, but they said it was very hush-hush... called it "Olham's Express" and said it was doing "God's work"...they advised me not to speak of it again...



* Right after that flight, we learned that Max Immelman had been shot down. Now this is weird, but some pilots started reporting of a phantom scout that dives from a sweeping turn on high to shoot at their planes, saying that it is the shade of the downed pilot, seeking revenge! Normally, I would not be one to give much credence to such tales, but the strangest thing happened to me on this morning's flight. I was flying along, more or less in formation, when suddely, I was attacked! The crack of machine gun rounds sailed past my ears, spars were hit and shredded and canvas torn from its ribs! I sent my machine into a spinning dive and when I pulled out, I looked around but no enemy machines could be seen! What was worse, there was the rest of my flight, carrying on as if nothing had happened! They all claimed that they had seen nothing, and had thought that I was having a seizure! What was worse, when I got down, there was no damage of any kind to my bus! The Major was sympathetic, but I noticed that our ration of alcohol was cut way down at the mess tonight. Or maybe it was just mine. Spooky!


The older I get, the more I realize I don't need to be Han, Luke or Leia. I'm just happy to be rebel scum...
#4587999 - 12/29/21 01:27 AM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
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Robert_Wiggins Offline
BWOC Survivor!...So Far!!
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Hotshot

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Ha Ha Rick, "Olham's Express"! It"s a long time since I heard it spoken of and yes, yes, it has always been a hush hush affair. Me thinks that RAF_Louvert knows something of those events!! He could probably shed some light on them if you can get him into the canteen and prime him some!!

Best Regards


(System_Specs)
Case: Cooler Master Storm Trooper
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#4588093 - 12/30/21 03:36 AM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Robert_Wiggins]  
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Rick_Rawlings Offline
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Originally Posted by Robert_Wiggins
Me thinks that RAF_Louvert knows something of those events!! He could probably shed some light on them if you can get him into the canteen and prime him some!!

Best Regards


It shouldn't be too hard to get the materials for that...just for mentioning the train's existence to "the boys", they jammed a carton of Gold Flakes and a case of Asbach's finest in my hands...


The older I get, the more I realize I don't need to be Han, Luke or Leia. I'm just happy to be rebel scum...
#4588113 - 12/30/21 12:34 PM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
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RAF_Louvert Offline
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L'Etoile du Nord
.

Good gawd, "Olham's Express", now there's a true blast from the past! I surely do miss that fellow, I hope life is treating him well. As for some priming at the canteen, a full measure or two, or possibly three, of a nice 18-year single malt should do the trick. cheers

.


[Linked Image]

Three RFC Brass Hats were strolling down a street in London. Two walked into a bar, the third one ducked.
_________________________________________________________________________

Former Cold War Warrior, USAF Security Service 1974-1978, E-4, Morse Systems Intercept, England, Europe, and points above.
"pippy-pahpah-pippy pah-pip-pah"

#4588136 - 12/30/21 03:16 PM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 7,854
Robert_Wiggins Offline
BWOC Survivor!...So Far!!
Robert_Wiggins  Offline
BWOC Survivor!...So Far!!
Hotshot

Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 7,854
Lindsay, Ontario, Canada
Ah, I have something:

click to view


(System_Specs)
Case: Cooler Master Storm Trooper
PSU: Ultra X3,1000-Watt
MB: Asus Maximus VI Extreme
Mem: Corsair Vengeance (2x 8GB), PC3-12800, DDR3-1600MHz, Unbuffered
CPU: Intel i7-4770K, OC to 4.427Ghz
CPU Cooler: Cooler Master Seidon 240M Liquid CPU Cooler
Vid Card: ASUS GTX 980Ti STRIX 6GB
OS and Games on separate: Samsung 840 Series 250GB SSD
Monitor: Primary ASUS PG27AQ 4k; Secondary Samsung SyncMaster BX2450L
Periphs: MS Sidewinder FFB2 Pro, TrackIR 4

#4588175 - 12/31/21 02:41 AM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
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Rick_Rawlings Offline
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Rick_Rawlings  Offline
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Oh yeah, that takes me back! Good times!


The older I get, the more I realize I don't need to be Han, Luke or Leia. I'm just happy to be rebel scum...
#4589548 - Yesterday at 06:36 PM Re: REPORTS FROM THE FRONT [Re: Olham]  
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Rick_Rawlings Offline
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Rick_Rawlings  Offline
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Posts: 3,315
Rick Rawlings

No. 24 Sqn,

August 1916

Bertangles Aerodrome

We were taking off for a line patrol a few days back when I realized that after our breakfast sausages, I really needed to attend to some operations in the latrine, so I told the fellows I would catch up to them at the lines...

When I got there, they had already ran into some of the new Halberstadt scouts, so I jumped right in! I tried to stay on top of the fight, as that was what the Major recommends: "Altitude is easy to lose and hard to gain, so don't give it up without good reason!" he says. However, he and Garfield were having an easy go with the upper Hun, so I dove down on the one attacking Ashford. Unfortunately, I was too late and saw him wrecked in No Man's Land! Furious, I used the speed of my dive and closed on Ashford's killer, giving him a good burst and sending him down! As I worked my way back up (man, altitude is hard to gain!) I had to flee myself from what appeared to be three Rolands, the wound in my leg from a couple weeks back aching at the mere sight of them!

I went further south along the patrol route and came upon some Eindeckers attacking the remnant of our flight. One came after me but I was able to get around on him and give him a good crack, which must have snapped a control wire as the poor fellow went down four thousand feet in a nasty spin to his death!

Being well-observed, both claims were confirmed, making me a baker's ace! And I was awarded the D.S.O. as well!




The older I get, the more I realize I don't need to be Han, Luke or Leia. I'm just happy to be rebel scum...
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