I once had a barium enema, a long, long time ago.
Quite an unpleasant experience,
Having a hose snaked up my arse,
Squirting thick, cool liquid into my porous bowels that didn't quite belong.
Laugh, you may, but rest assured then 'twas not such a farce
And there was the rolling and rocking, side to side that the technician had me do,
Slopping the goop too and fro like a perfectly shaken soda bottle of poo.
I felt my innards expanding.
Fast forward to removal of said breaching hose, the assault party was nearly free,
Save for my tightened sphincter that clutched to an infinite degree.
Behold, lo I spied a porcelain bowl, forthwith the technician decreed,
there I may be rightly relieved...
And boy, did my anus bleed.
A searing white breach of albuminous doo doo,
Nodules of sparkling splendor splashed and shot and shat and spat
Until the commode was lacquered true.
There lay my gilded eggs, two dozen milky, creamy dregs.
They say that barium is radioactive, so I swear had I flicked off the lights, the resulting entity would have been much like your bright sunlight.