#4521555 - 05/20/20 12:43 AM
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,620
CyBerkut
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Florida
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A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, When it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber’s house.
The phone didn’t ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found: 1. The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground wire with a steel chain and collar. 2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose. 3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called. 4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate. 5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
This demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning. I just thought you’d like to know.
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#4521652 - 05/20/20 09:00 PM
Re: A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company
[Re: CyBerkut]
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 4,585
coasty
Senior Member
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Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 4,585
Asheville, NC, USA
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too funny. I pissed on an electric fence when I was a kid, ONCE...
Have you seen the Arrow? WWW
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#4521673 - 05/20/20 11:00 PM
Re: A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company
[Re: coasty]
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,402
Zamzow
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too funny. I pissed on an electric fence when I was a kid, ONCE...
Oh wow, my "equipment" literally shrank in my shorts when I read that, ugh...... What kind of electric fence, one of those low current ones for containing animals or a more powerful "security" kind of fence? Either way, that's the most cringeworthy thing I've read in a long time....
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#4521676 - 05/20/20 11:06 PM
Re: A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company
[Re: coasty]
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,402
Zamzow
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too funny. I pissed on an electric fence when I was a kid, ONCE...
I have a similar story - I'd handled the outside of a bottle of "Dave's Insanity Sauce" (180,000 Scoville), and I guess my finger touched some of the "solid" residue near the cap. Went to the bathroom about a half hour later, you already know the outcome, it REALLY sucked! NEVER again failed to wash my hands immediately after handling anything spicy, at ANY level!
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#4521683 - 05/20/20 11:45 PM
Re: A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company
[Re: coasty]
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 17,301
Nixer
Scaliwag and Survivor
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Scaliwag and Survivor
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Posts: 17,301
Living with the Trees
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too funny. I pissed on an electric fence when I was a kid, ONCE...
LOL I surfed at night twice, just completely nuts. Full moon, all the fish are biting and sharks love to feed at night.
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#4521718 - 05/21/20 05:49 AM
Re: A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company
[Re: Nixer]
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 258
bolox
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A slightly related to OP story: about 20 years ago had to do a gig in Poland (this is before they joined EU but quite soon after the Soviet era). Get to the venue and the 'electrician' shows me the power supply we will be using a big cast 'clunky' box that looked like it would have been at home in a bt 5 rof. Go through what actual power is available through the interpreter(100A, 415V 3 phase apparently so all good and actually meters out fine). Then I notice a loose wire running out from the box... ooh what the hell is this?. Get the reply that "for you crazee Inglish we have put in an earth". At this point I may have looked slightly more than suspicious . After more to and fro through the interpreter we follow said wire till it eventually exits a window into a flower bed. So then we proceed outside to this flower bed- at least it is attached to a metal pole driven into the earth, however the ground is rock hard and bone dry. So I flop the my todger out and proceed to piss liberally over the pole and surrounding area. The electrician's face goes from shock, to confused, to angry as I piss all over his work :duck. Then there is is more to and fro through the interpreter as I explain the theory of electrical conductivity: and his face goes back through confused until finally the bulb lights up To be fair to the poles, I must add that I was back in the same venue the day after they'd joined the EU, and a different, much younger electrician was positively beaming when he showed me the 'ceeform' (3ph+n+e) socket https://www.ceesockets.com/knowledge/what-is-ceeform-cee-form-fully-explained/
"There are two things that are infinite: The Universe and Human Stupidity. And I'm not even sure about the Universe." - Einstein
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#4521723 - 05/21/20 07:44 AM
Re: A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company
[Re: Zamzow]
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,760
BD-123
Old Scroat
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Old Scroat
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Posts: 2,760
Naunton Beauchamp Worcestershi...
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too funny. I pissed on an electric fence when I was a kid, ONCE...
I have a similar story - I'd handled the outside of a bottle of "Dave's Insanity Sauce" (180,000 Scoville), and I guess my finger touched some of the "solid" residue near the cap. Went to the bathroom about a half hour later, you already know the outcome, it REALLY sucked! NEVER again failed to wash my hands immediately after handling anything spicy, at ANY level! Me, similar experience with Nitromors paint stripper. On reading the instructions "Tsk! I'm a horny-handed working man! Don't need no gloves!" Blistered todger made painfully aware the error of my ways.
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#4525521 - 06/14/20 11:37 PM
Re: A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company
[Re: CyBerkut]
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 4,585
coasty
Senior Member
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Senior Member
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Posts: 4,585
Asheville, NC, USA
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it was a livestock fence to backup the barbed wire, I had never heard of such a thing. Urine is a strong conductor!
Have you seen the Arrow? WWW
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