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#4487031 - 08/22/19 03:25 AM Lost my best friend  
Joined: Jun 2006
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NH2112 Offline
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NH2112  Offline
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I’ve known Lynn Schaffrick almost 20 years. Sunday afternoon her boyfriend found her in her home. Since I was the only one of her friends up here who knew her family, I made the calls to let them know. It was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my life. I’m really a wreck, if it wasn’t for going to work and keeping too busy to think about her all the time I don’t know how I’d cope. Even though we were only friends, we were as close as any husband and wife. I lost a few girlfriends over our friendship. Though they weren’t much of a loss to me, I guess. I miss her so much.



Phil

"Live free or die: Death is not the worst of evils."
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#4487035 - 08/22/19 04:00 AM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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Eugene Offline
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Eugene  Offline
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Phil, I am so sorry to hear that you've lost such a friend of a lifetime. Few losses cut this deep, or last so long. Words don't help much, but for what they are worth, friends make such a difference - and you must have been a terrific friend to her. I bet you have other friends who no doubt feel your pain. times like these, you kinda sorta find out who they are. Sadly, I just heard yesterday from a close and dear lady, known from old high school days - stage 3 colon cancer. I guess to have the joy, you got to have the pain, too. After these deep losses, I've come to believe I owe my daughter, my best friend, and the rest too - I owe them to embrace and enjoy opening my eyes in the morning, seeing the sky, feeling the wind.

Take care of yourself,

Eugene


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#4487036 - 08/22/19 04:02 AM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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wheelsup_cavu Offline
Lifer
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Lifer

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You have my condolences Phil. Losing a close friend is never something one is prepared to have happen.
Do your best to remember the good/great times you shared over those twenty years.


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#4487065 - 08/22/19 12:52 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
Joined: Apr 2001
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bones Offline
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bones  Offline
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So sorry for your loss.

v6,
boNes


"Also, I would prefer a back seater over the extra gas any day. I would have 80 pounds of flesh to eat and a pair of glasses to start a fire." --F/A-18 Hornet pilot
#4487066 - 08/22/19 01:01 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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CyBerkut Offline
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CyBerkut  Offline
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I am sorry to hear of your loss, Phil. 48 is too young for that to make any sense.

#4487068 - 08/22/19 01:04 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
Joined: Apr 2001
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PanzerMeyer Offline
Pro-Consul of Florida
PanzerMeyer  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 111,529
Miami, FL USA
My condolences Phil. I'm sorry about the huge loss.


“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
#4487070 - 08/22/19 01:23 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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Bill_Grant Offline
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I am sorry for what you are having to go through.
I hope you can find some peace today, and recall the great things about her that will bring you comfort


~Bill

In my defense, I was left unsupervised...
#4487071 - 08/22/19 01:30 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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Nixer Offline
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Nixer  Offline
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Living with the Trees
So sorry for your loss Phil.

Sounds like she was a great lady.


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"There's a sucker born every minute."
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#4487130 - 08/22/19 09:39 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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462cid Offline
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Very sorry to hear this Phil. I think I can begin to understand how you must feel.

It is rare for a young man to be mature enough to understand that a female in his life occupies a special place like that. I have been lucky enough to be in a similar situation for 26 years with a woman I met when I was 22 and she was 20. I've known her as long as her husband. I used to get black looks from other guys when I'd take her somewhere before her marriage, she was so striking. But we were and always will be wrong for each other, romantically. I too had some dating issues because of that strong friendship, and many comments besides, but that's what we do for genuine, worthwhile and good people because they are rare. That's the point, since our real friends are pretty much family that we can choose and they are not as commonly found as we would like or even need.

I do know with certainty that you were and are a better person because of your friend and that you filled that same role for her. You are both fortunate to have had that happen. Stay strong.


What kind of car is that? What does it matter? When I drive it, I'm Steve McQueen
#4487267 - 08/23/19 08:50 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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RSColonel_131st Offline
Lifer
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Lifer

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Vienna, 2nd rock left.
Sorry to read that Phil. The way you descripe your friendship sounds like not only she for you, but also you for her have been a very valuable companion in life. And that is rare, even more so between man and woman.

Try and find some time for yourself to heal that wound. I wish you and her family all the best.

#4487281 - 08/23/19 10:09 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
Joined: Nov 2001
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oldgrognard Online content
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Lifer

Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 20,883
USA
I have great sympathy for your loss. It is terrible to lose a close friend. Words have little worth.


Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

Someday your life will flash in front of your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.
#4487287 - 08/23/19 11:20 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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Tarnsman Offline
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I am very sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Please accept my deepest sympathies.

#4487293 - 08/23/19 11:49 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
Joined: Sep 2001
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Dart Offline
Measured in Llamathrusts
Dart  Offline
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Lifer

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Alabaster, AL USA
My condolences.


The opinions of this poster are largely based on facts and portray a possible version of the actual events.

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#4487399 - 08/25/19 01:17 AM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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NH2112 Offline
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NH2112  Offline
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Thanks, everyone, it’s been a hell of a week. I keep thinking I’ll hear my alarm going off and wake up from the worst dream imaginable. What’s really hard is I have to drive by her house every time I go anywhere. But the hardest thing of all is we hadn’t talked for about 5 months because we had a pretty bad fight. I was still angry with her, but in reality I think I was just making myself stay angry at her because I wanted to be. So take it from me - don’t do that, because you never know when you’ll end up living the rest of your life regretting your pettiness and stupidity.

Last Saturday night she appeared in a dream. I didn’t remember a single detail about the dream except for that. I mentioned it to a FB friend because dreaming about her was very unusual for me. I doubt I had done it 10 times in all the years I knew her. What was weird was she looked exactly like she did in real life, which is unusual for me. In my dreams I know who people are but there are usually subtle but definite differences in their appearance. Her boyfriend also had a dream with her in it that night. A goodbye? I don’t know. It would almost be worse knowing she was no longer angry with me.

Last edited by NH2112; 08/25/19 01:21 AM.

Phil

"Live free or die: Death is not the worst of evils."
#4487545 - 08/26/19 01:45 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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BlueHeron Offline
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BlueHeron  Offline
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Ottawa, Canada
Man, so sorry to hear that. The world is just not the same when we lose someone so close. frown

#4487555 - 08/26/19 03:20 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
Joined: Oct 2012
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Fittop Offline
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Fittop  Offline
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US
My condolences.
Having experienced a similar loss, I can say it may not get easier. one just seems to get more used to living with the loss and strong memories.
Yes, the dreams somehow help, even if that does not seem to make sense.

#4487990 - 08/30/19 07:11 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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shan2 Offline
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I'm sorry for your loss. frown


You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
#4488111 - 09/01/19 04:45 AM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
Joined: Nov 2006
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Fracture Offline
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Fracture  Offline
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Ohio
I know it doesn't get any easier but at least you're not alone. Take care.

#4489058 - 09/11/19 07:23 AM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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HeinKill Offline
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HeinKill  Offline
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Sorry to hear. Lost my best friend a couple of years back. I found it helps to keep a photo of him in my travel wallet, which I use frequently. I enjoy randomly seeing it in there and thinking about the good times we had - it's a way of honouring the friendship and his memory. ATB, Fred


[Linked Image]
#4493232 - 10/16/19 09:55 PM Re: Lost my best friend [Re: NH2112]  
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BLiTZKRiEG Offline
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BLiTZKRiEG  Offline
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MEXiCO D.F.
Sorry about your loss. My condolences.

At least you noticed it. I did not and found out 1 year later... DANG! http://www.donitzeliteflotilla.com/forum/index.php?msg=13737


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