#4462643 - 02/23/19 04:09 PM
OT: Mother Passed
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 824
CaptSopwith
Barmy WingNut
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Barmy WingNut
Member
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 824
United States
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Good morning gents,
I'm not really sure how to open this post. My mother passed away very unexpectedly and suddenly last weekend. She was only in her early 60s. It's difficult to find the words to write about such a shock. It's been a stressful and busy year to begin with, with a lot of worry about work and where life is going from here, but this has put everything in stark contrast. As some of you know, my mother has had a few close calls over the years. She struggled with mental health issues, especially within the last decade or so. But after I got the call last weekend, I keep thinking back to happier memories of her. One of them led me here. When I was 16 years old I was bitten by the First World War flight sim bug. First it was Wings of Glory but then I heard about Red Baron II. One afternoon, while shopping at Wal-Mart with my mom, I found one remaining box copy of the game, marked down for $20. I begged my mother, quite dramatically, in the store to please, please, please get me the copy of Red Baron. "It's the last game I'll ever need!" was often a phrase I used back then. She saw how badly I wanted it and picked it up for me.
That box still sits on my bookcase 21 years later. I still fly with the Microsoft Sidewinder she picked up for me a few years later. I joked that it was the best twenty bucks she ever spent - it sparked my interest in history which led to college, then grad school and well, you know the rest.
Her death was a shock, even after so many close calls. Apparently she had bronchitis for the past week - my mother was a very heavy smoker - and because of poor family finances had put off seeing a doctor. She was finally seen but that night she went to bed and never woke up. The conclusion was that her heart simply stopped in the middle of the night. My father, who is also dealing with a lot of mental health challenges, is devastated. I am in the middle of the busiest and most stressful six months of my life and honestly, it's hard to cope with so much happening in such a short span. So, as always, I though it would be best to post something here. I am heartbroken and at a loss for what to say or how to proceed, other than one step at a time. I have a loving family of friends around me and a fantastic partner, so in that sense I'm very very fortunate. But it's also incredibly hard to process.
Spare a thought for my mother if you can, my friends. I'd greatly appreciate it. She wasn't without her faults, but she was a wonderful woman and an inspiration to me each day.
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#4462645 - 02/23/19 04:19 PM
Re: OT: Mother Passed
[Re: CaptSopwith]
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,732
Rick_Rawlings
Senior Member
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Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,732
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I am very sorry to hear about your loss, especially since your mother was so young. You are right that the process will take time and starts with one step after the other. Make sure that you do not take too much on yourself, but pull the best from your friends and the rest of your family. We will all be thinking of her and you.
The older I get, the more I realize I don't need to be Han, Luke or Leia. I'm just happy to be rebel scum...
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#4462655 - 02/23/19 04:55 PM
Re: OT: Mother Passed
[Re: CaptSopwith]
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Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 945
kksnowbear
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 945
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My mom, an English teacher and Linguistics major, is right behind me, watching over my shoulder as I write this. She'll say things like "Less is best", and I'll probably ignore her sage advice, like I have so many times before.
I try to avoid saying "I know how you feel" to someone who is suffering so...truth is, only you can know what all this means to you.
But I know how I felt when my mom passed some 15-odd years ago from the ravages of smoking. (I don't know the exact date, to be honest, or even the year, because I struggled so to forget that terrible event).
Just as your mom left you with the game from so many years ago that has since influenced so much of your life, my Mom left me with admiration (and hopefully some skill) for writing. And although I've always worked in technology jobs and never been paid to write, there have been many times when bosses, peers, and subordinates noted how my writing ability separates me and augments my technical skills. If it weren't for her, I would never be who I am...and I think we could say the same for your mother and you.
So, even though she's been gone for quite some time, she's still standing right behind me at this very moment. Less is best.
You keep this in mind as you carry on, because that's all you can do for her now...and she'll be right there, with you, forever.
I do wish you and your family peace and comfort during this most trying of times.
Heartfelt regards,
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#4462669 - 02/23/19 06:00 PM
Re: OT: Mother Passed
[Re: CaptSopwith]
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,064
Sandbagger
Hotshot
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Hotshot
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,064
Coningsby, Lincs, UK
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Capt, So sorry to hear of your loss, especially as your father has his own problems. I lost my mother when she was only 62 so I know how you feel. Chin up my friend - it will get brighter,
Mike
Alienware Aurora R5 Windows 10 64 bit Intel i7-6700K 4.2Ghz Two GTX 1080 Foundations in SLI (8 Gig each) 32 Gig DDR4 2133Mhz 1TB SSD boot drive - 1TB SATA storage drive 5.1 Surround Sound 34" Dell Ultra Sharp U3415W (3440x 2440) CH Pro-Pedals, Stick and Throttle TrackIR-5 Pro
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#4462692 - 02/23/19 08:41 PM
Re: OT: Mother Passed
[Re: CaptSopwith]
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Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 799
Stache
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 799
Michigan, USA
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Capt,
You said it in your post... take it one day at a time. I lost my dad 12 years ago and my Mom six years- jeez has it been that long. Both were a long, hard to watch, painful process of slow degradation due to dementia. My mom lasted a long time, my sisters and I took care of her for as long as we could but we finally made the heart wrenching decisions to put her in a home. There we continued to watch the slow decline, till she no longer recognized any of us. While her body was there, we all knew mom was already gone.
Very sorry for your loss.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. A. Einstein I7-6700k OC 4.4GHZ, 16GB DDR4 3200Mhz; Gigabyte Gaming 7 MB, G1 OC'ed GTX980ti; Three-Acer XB271HU WQHD Gsync 144Mhz; Samsung 950-512GB NVMe SSD; WD 2TB-7200rpm; Cooler Master HAF XB EVO, Nepton 240M cooler, V1000 PS; Windows 10 PRO; VKB GunfighterPro Stick; Thrustmaster TPR Pedals; Saitek Throttle; Dual TM MFD panels; TrackIR 5; Windows 10 v1909
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#4462697 - 02/23/19 09:20 PM
Re: OT: Mother Passed
[Re: CaptSopwith]
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,079
JJJ65
Member
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Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,079
Czech Rep.
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Capt, my sincerest condolences to you. I have similar experience - my mother (73) got hard brain attack 28th of December last year. She can't speak, she does not understand a word, she is completeley paralyzed on right side of the body, incontinent and so on. Simply said - she is a body that is not my mother as I used to know anymore. Very sad. My last two months are full of sadness and nothingness. I can very understand your feeling to lost a closest human been, a woman that gave you the most valuable thing - your live and who loved you the most. Sorry for my English I can not express my feelings as best as I could.
Last edited by JJJ65; 02/23/19 09:47 PM.
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#4462725 - 02/24/19 01:17 AM
Re: OT: Mother Passed
[Re: CaptSopwith]
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 7,993
Robert_Wiggins
BWOC Survivor!...So Far!!
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BWOC Survivor!...So Far!!
Hotshot
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 7,993
Lindsay, Ontario, Canada
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Cap'n
So sorry for your loss. I too lost mine too early. She was 57 and succumbed to a rather short term aggressive leukemia on my 21st Birthday. While at hospital, my father handed me my birthday present (a watch), which he and my mother had purchased for me just two months before. I still have it and cherish it along with the great memories of the past. Those memories help see us through.
Best Regards and I wish you well.
Case: Cooler Master Storm Trooper PSU: Ultra X3,1000-Watt MB: Asus Maximus VI Extreme Mem: Corsair Vengeance (2x 8GB), PC3-12800, DDR3-1600MHz, Unbuffered CPU: Intel i7-4770K, OC to 4.427Ghz CPU Cooler: Cooler Master Seidon 240M Liquid CPU Cooler Vid Card: ASUS GTX 980Ti STRIX 6GB OS and Games on separate: Samsung 840 Series 250GB SSD Monitor: Primary ASUS PG27AQ 4k; Secondary Samsung SyncMaster BX2450L Periphs: MS Sidewinder FFB2 Pro, TrackIR 4
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#4462759 - 02/24/19 09:45 AM
Re: OT: Mother Passed
[Re: CaptSopwith]
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 221
matmilne
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 221
UK
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So sorry there capt. In a couple of weeks, it will be 5 years since I lost mine, my dad in a boating accident a year later. Though less numb these days, it changes you in so many ways. The PC gamer article was out a few months after her passing, so I never got to show we'd made it into a major publication.
Last edited by matmilne; 02/24/19 09:47 AM.
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Exodus
by RedOneAlpha. 04/18/24 05:46 PM
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