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#4398899 - 01/08/18 07:53 PM I am very helpful....  
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 5,640
Bill_Grant Offline
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Bill_Grant  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 5,640
Dallas, TX
I saw a poster on a street sign today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?”
So I called the number and said that I didn’t. I like to help where I can.


~Bill

Warning: My sense of Humor may hurt your feelings!
Inline advert (2nd and 3rd post)

#4398900 - 01/08/18 07:55 PM Re: I am very helpful.... [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 5,640
Bill_Grant Offline
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Bill_Grant  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 5,640
Dallas, TX
I just like to sleep naked. The bus driver could have been a bit more understanding.


~Bill

Warning: My sense of Humor may hurt your feelings!
#4398902 - 01/08/18 08:02 PM Re: I am very helpful.... [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 110,599
PanzerMeyer Online centaurian
Pro-Consul of Florida
PanzerMeyer  Online Centaurian
Pro-Consul of Florida
King Crimson - SimHQ's Top Poster

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 110,599
Miami, FL USA
Don't quit your day job Bill!


“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
#4398908 - 01/08/18 08:31 PM Re: I am very helpful.... [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Jun 2001
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Bill_Grant Offline
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Bill_Grant  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 5,640
Dallas, TX
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window.

After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning.

Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?"

"It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."


~Bill

Warning: My sense of Humor may hurt your feelings!
#4398910 - 01/08/18 08:33 PM Re: I am very helpful.... [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 10,699
MarkG Offline
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MarkG  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 10,699
The Bayou
^ That one was funny! biggrin



The rusty wire that holds the cork that keeps the anger in
Gives way and suddenly it’s day again
The sun is in the east
Even though the day is done
Two suns in the sunset, hmph
Could be the human race is run
#4398934 - 01/08/18 10:11 PM Re: I am very helpful.... [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,523
Raw Kryptonite Offline
Beat the Kobayashi Maru
Raw Kryptonite  Offline
Beat the Kobayashi Maru
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,523
MS
LOL
Happy Monday! Needed that.


·Steam: Raw Kryptonite ·MWO & Elite Dangerous: Defcon Won ·Meager youtube channel
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#4398956 - 01/08/18 11:42 PM Re: I am very helpful.... [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 103
FourSpeed Offline
Member
FourSpeed  Offline
Member

Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 103
Phoenix, AZ
Originally Posted by Bill_Grant
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window.
After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."


Totally didn't see that one coming... hilarious! Thanks for the belly-laugh. rofl

Cheers, cheers
4 <S!>

#4399165 - 01/09/18 10:41 PM Re: I am very helpful.... [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 16,082
- Ice Offline
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- Ice  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 16,082
Philippines / North East UK
LOL!! Good ones!


- Ice

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