Lots of ex and serving military types on the forum. What memorable quotes can you remember coming from your officers mouths. Here are 20 British ones to get you started.

1. The men are looking very higgly pigglydy this morning Sergeant Major .

2. "Oh dear" sorry I never carry cash.

3. If I get my hands on that Chief Clerk I will kill him.

4. What do you mean all the Senior Ranks are still in the Mess when one is leaving? Tell the RSM I wish to see him immediately he returns.

5. If wanted I will be in the Officers Mess.

6. Password ? , open the damn gate before I get cross with you.

7 The BOWO (Brigade Ordnance Warrant Officer) said what ? I gave him his first stripe for Gods sake.

8. Rules and regulations are just a guide.

9. What is it coming to, cloth boot laces.

10. These are not warts on my shoulders sonny.

11. Too much tittle tattle in that bloo*y Wives Club.

12. My ID Card is in my office - What do you mean you do not know me.

13. Discipline is simply the art of making the soldiers fear their Warrant Officers more than the Officers

14. When was the last time we had a proper Muster Parade Mr G? Just before the troops went to Kuwait sir, and they are still there.

15. Is that moustache on your ID Card Cpl? no sir it s on my top lip.

16. Are you the duty NCO, "Yes sir". Could you wipe off my bicycle seat outside the front door as it has got wet due the recent rainfall.
"No sorry, that's not part of my duties, in a field force unit, you have to wipe you're own feckin seat SIR".

17. Do as I say; not as I do.

18. Arty Officer to Ordnance NCO: Why are your men in the back of the Stores 4 Tonner in comfortable beds when my men are sleeping on the forest floor?

answer: Sir, any fool can be uncomfortable.......

19. Young Subbie to me on his first exercise - Q where s my trench? You ain t dug the fecker yet , sir.

20. Guilty, 7 days ROPs!