Had to figure there would have been one guy here with a PS4 haha.

Anyway, in case anyone in the years to come has the same question, I'll record my decisions for posterity smile

For the storage solution I went with a Western Digital Black 5TB P10-Game Drive. This alone will hold more than 10x what the console does. Will blow his mind, and he has no clue.

To solve the USB issue I went with a Anker 4-Port USB 3.0 Portable Data Hub

No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!