Well....I've heard all about this exclusive club for those thoroughly hooked/dependent on as much WOFF as possible with a bent for absurdity and am very interesting in joining said club.

Ok...the truth is it's pissing down outside and I can smell a bar from another continent.....so anyway my credentials.

Number 1 is a definite, in fact I've sat there in company with obviously such a serious expression on my face that I'm asked what's up? When in fact I'm wondering how the HELL that claim was disallowed when the half the ffin Jasta was there!....and if I don't get a confirmed kill soon I'm going to hang that wingman up by his buster browns!!

Number 4 is a yes. In fact my missus wanders where all the writing pads go....I think she wonders if I'm writing love letters to the milkman.....well I could....but only if he's interested in the exact spot I flamed that Pup and the name of the nearest witness.

I can do better than number 13. I have CD's of German, British, French and US WW1 marches and tunes and often play these in the background as I fly my missions. I also have all these and more similar tunes on my phone to listen to on long journeys....or short journeys...or when cooking. I have yet to DJ them at a party though....that's the next notch for me.

Number 19 is a huge yes. In fact I don't get asked what I would like for Chrimbo or Birthdays anymore....I get asked if I'm going to make room before the next one arrives. A few months ago my copy of The Blue Max by Jack Hunter got ruined due to getting thoroughly wet (by rain!!! I'm daft....not dangerous)....it's replacement was in my possession within 24 hours via Amazon because I paid for next day delivery....even my missus/kids Chrimbo pressies take longer than that.

I could go on...but hopefully I've demonstrated not only the hopelessness of my WOFF addiction....but the barmyness which only comes from far too much Goons and Monty Python.

Now..... a whiskey top please barman...what's on top of the whiskey?.... another whiskey obviously!


Simes bottles

So, we take off in ten minutes, we're in the air for twenty minutes, which means we should be dead by twenty five to ten.