Hey, Y'all probably need a laugh after this weekend...


Job interviewer: “And where would you see yourself in five years’ time Mr. Jeffries?"
Mr. Jeffries: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."


Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”


A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner.
The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Oh no, I look like a pig!"
The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"


A wife is like a hand grenade. Take off the ring and say good bye to your house.


What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.


I thought I’d tell you a good time travel joke – but you didn't like it.


I hate people who take drugs. DEA is the worst.


My friend really hurt me today when he told me that I make people very uncomfortable and have no respect for personal space.
I mean, what a thing to say to a friend? It totally ruined our bath!

I finally got one of those roof boxes for the car. It's very practical. I can barely hear my kids now.