I might just take you up on that, My first time in GTAO was not good. Here's how it went.

Clicked Online and was treated to a long loading screen after which it told me I had yet to create a character, so another loading screen and then to character creation. Threw together one that sorta looks like the dude married to Nicole Kidman. Then was taken to the game opening where you're introduced to a few mechanics. After a brief introduction with Lamar I have to choose a car for a race. I chose the Surge, which as I might have guessed (but didn't) was electric. Which means no cool engine sounds and that won't do. But it had the best acceleration, which I thought would be good in a street race. It was and I won the race easily.

First I am made to go buy some exorbitantly priced clothes and am then tasked with tracking down some gang members to take their stash of less than legal party favors. A shootout ensues against a bunch of NPCs which is pretty easy, but I notice the drugs have jumped in a car and I'm off in my soundless Surge (is this thing on?). Tracked them down and ended up shooting out the tires. Banger bailed and I gunned him down in the street, grabbed the drugs and delivered them to one of Lamar's friends for $500.

Knowing I will probably be killed soon after being dumped in to the game world I pull out the phone and deposit some of my money in the bank so I don't lose it when I die, After a series of messages telling me al of the things I can do I am tasked with stealing a car to be my main hoopty for the early parts of the game I guess. Whichever car you take to the custom shop will get free insurance and a tracker so I can find it when it's stolen. So set off in my silent Surge looking for a good car. Except in online there are a lot more types of cars, but far fewer just sitting around waiting to be nicked and some of them are rank-locked

At this point my enthusiasm is already taking a hit. On the right side of the screen is the text chat. It''s basically endless variations of "who's the modder?" From what I've read there are a lot of hackers in GTAO and it seems I've landed with one in my first server. Undaunted I start driving around Los Santos looking for a likely mark to make my ride. Players are shown on the minimap as dots, so you can see where they are. I just tried to keep my distance at first. On the left side of the screen a steady roll of players killed ticks by. So I can see that it's just mayhem. Deathmatch essentially. No one seems to be doing anything other than killing each other. One guy dies, then another, then four all at once as they kill each other, probably in an explosion.

I get a message to go Los Santos Customs after stealing my car. But I decided to stop by, see what options there were, and then continue my car search. But then I see for this first visit stuff is free, but I don't want to make the Surge my main ride. So I alt-F4 out and more long loading screens.
Back in I finally I locate an Ocelot. This was one of my favorite cars in story mode, and one of my characters hit 146 MPH in it, so I was psyched to get it and find it wasn't rank locked. I drive it to the custom shop to see it's not the F260 that I thought it was and it's some other Ocelot car. Alt-F4 and begin again. Now I have no car at all and am on foot, and players are in helos. Gunships really.

I find a parking deck, which are great places to find cars of course and I begin climbing the decks in search. A message

Hello dbond, your Uber awaits at the top of the parking garage.

Un oh, I've been noticed.

I want nothing to do with it and as I look out the sides of the deck I see a helo in a perfect hover watching me. I climb a deck. He ascends likewise. As I reach the top deck he lands and I get in. Yeah. Well I did and he takes off and we fly across the city and he land at the Vinewood sign. I get out and stop to admire the panoramic vista of the city below. The pilot also gets out and he's a clown. Literally. Green hair. Uh oh, clowns are never good. He pulls out a machete. I pull my fists. Doh. I then pull my starting pistol and shoot him in the face, but he doesn't die. I do from the machete chop.

:"Sorry, I had to do it"

yeah right D-bag.

So I respawn. In the same spot. Seriously? The clown is back in his helo and I try to run away but he chops me up with his rotor blades.

"Sorry, I had to do it"

Homey don't play dat.

What was that that Master had said? You can play MOST of the regular online missions by yourself in a closed session? How to actually do this is not very obvious, but eventually I work out how to start a private server. At this point I am still in need of a car. But now I have no D-bags to trip me up. So I alt-tab so I can do a quick search for opinions on good starter cars. After like four minutes I hop back in to be told I've been idle too long and it reloads the server, but public and once again I am surrounded by sociopaths. What the hell, maybe this server is better. I steal a crap car and evade the cops and begin looking for my new car. I'm driving along and suddenly a message appears that I have invited me to my apartment, long load screen and when I come out of it I am just a camera, nothing else, and am in a hail of gunfire, I assume from a helo. More hackers. Good grief.

So I reload again in a private server and find a car. It's a black coupe, like a 3-series BMW. Take it to the custom shop, then run a couple of missions like bounty hunting. I've played for a little more than two hoursand accomplished little aside from being a hacker or clown victim. What fun.

Still, the solo server stuff gives me more content, but it's a shame that folks can't play this in the right spirit, it's just deathmatch, everyone killing everyone over and over. Not what I want. If I keep at it I can at least develop my character and if I go back in public at least not be equipped like a noob. But my first experience sucked. Once I get some stuff I would be interested in joining HHF and anyone else here that might get the itch to get back in to this game. But public PvP is a complete sh!t show based on last night.

Animals flee this hell, the hardest stones cannot bear it for long. Only men endure