Having purused the requirements of this fine club I believe I have the attributes to become one of this select band of Brothers and would therefore like to apply.

So I do not make a fool of myself during initiation please let me know,

Which trouser leg do I have to roll up?

Which nipple must be exposed?

Which dodgy handshake to apply?

And most importantly a course to steer for the Mess bar?

Many thanks in advance.