Okay, now just wait a moment.

I've got it all figured out, this baldness gig.

I have the answer!

Ready? (This is top secret/classified beyond descrption!)

There is no such thing as baldness!

What happens is that the hair stops growing out, and instead grows in!

Get it?

I discussed this with my wife and she agrees.

I have stopped shaving, and trimming my hair.


Your hair never really falls out.

It just grows in a different direction


And, for a extra feature, the more hair I grow, the smarter I get!

I will soon be running for President. Of the WORLD.

Any resemblence between me and a gorilla is pure coincidence.

p.s.: I even shave my TEETH now!


Pat Tillman (1976-2004):
4 years Arizona State University, graduated with high honors.
5 seasons National Football League player, Arizona Cardinals.
Forever United States Army Ranger.