Folks,

Dux:

Lovely she is to look at, even with a damaged 'big' end. These grand old locomotives of the 20th century with their sleek lines and beautiful livery were indeed thoroughbreds. Though incredibly fast and also sleek the 'bullet' trains of today fail somehow to capture so well the feeling of raw power and speed when just sitting still.

I dunno Dux, about that steam-power record, I mean. I seem to recall that time when Olga acquired the first prototype Mark I Russian-made pressure-cooker. It came in plain brown wrapper fresh from the Comrade Molotov Cast Iron, Boilerplate and Precision Rivet Works near Kursk. This we were told was Moscow's first attempt at mass production of metal cookware for the...er... masses.

Unfortunately the release valves on the initial Mark Is all were faulty. Because the rest of the contraptions were so incredibly strong they built up an equally incredible amount of pressure when those valves failed to release correctly.

At some point, it was never certain precisely when, even the pride of Soviet cast iron, boiler making and rivet works had to fail as well. When that finally happened it was the unlucky cook who was still standing or perhaps kneeling in fervent prayer nearby.

As I have written, I seem to remember that Olga's cooker finally blew at about 30 tons PSI and the blast propelled both her, and the man she was presently sitting on at the time, clean out an open window and a full 3 blocks away. They were clocked by the Studley Grange Early Warning Weather RADAR at a cool 290 MPH as they ascended to their apogee. Olga survived with only singed eyebrows and a few scratches but, to her disgust, the poor man was a total write off.

For some reason even though she had official recognition of her speed record from the Studley Grange RADAR site, she never did receive a commemorative plaque from Britain. This was mostly due to red tape and the fact that it was also at the very beginnings of the cold war.

Called back to Mother Russia by Stalin and the Central Committee to head the newly organized CMCIBPRW testing facility, Olga soon had a shiny plaque on her office wall and the factory pumping out safe pressure cookers that were the envy of all soviet cooks who, it must be admitted, certainly could not afford one. At a maximum production level of 3,000 units per day attained on May 1st 1948, there was soon a huge surplus stacked in the warehouses. In desperation some of the mounting surplus was eventually exported to Poland and the balance was welded to the thinnest armor of the newest T-34 tanks. Olga was never more popular with Stalin and so rather than to the Gulag, she was instead returned to England with 'special' duties.


Originally Registered January,2001 Member Number 3044

"Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed" - Edmond Gwenn, "The Trouble With Harry"

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