Folks,

Dux:

Great news! All holes are safe including those used for fishing.

Unfortunately for Olga there was a tiny problem with customs at our port of Wilmington. No, not the US customs. Olga got through that just fine. In fact, I'm told that there were 3 full cases of vodka out of the original 50 still on the truck when she waved farewell to those well lubricated if slightly ravaged Govt. officials. The customs that I refer to are North Carolina customs. These were just ordinary conventions. Things like driving under 100 mph on the right side of the road......

There was a terrible accident involving a large propane truck. As would be expected, with anything less than a nuclear blast, Olga survived in good shape. The truck, the contents, two mules and a mile of good farmland were a total write-off. With nothing left to deliver, Olga decided to go back to England. She was seen by a local deputy swimming out to sea with a single fifth of rocket additive/vodka clenched tightly in her mouth....sideways. That had been all that she could save.

The story of the crash was in all the local papers. I read that Olga was last seen making good headway toward a tramp steamer that was lumbering out to sea bound for the UK. When I read about the accident I knew the story would make the papers in the UK. Instantly the thought that you would be deeply concerned for your heroine's welfare sprang to my cluttered mind.

I perused the shipping news. There was only one steamer bound for England that sailed from Wilmington on that day. Please forgive me, for I immediately sent an e-mail to the HMS Barnacle Bottom in your good name. In that letter I suggested that Olga make all available speed to Derbyshire as you so considerately wished her to safely recuperate from her trying ordeal there on the couch with you.

I'm told that when the pouting Olga read that message she literally jumped for Joy. But Joy wasn't interested and so Olga had to settle for the slowest member of the crew, Robert the cook. R.I.P.

It was the least that I could do for so thoughtful a pal as you are. Please do not thank me. In truth, scoundrel that I am, if I could have done any less I probably would have.