Folks,

Dux:

LOL! Alas, poor, Leroy, I knew him well.

All please note that our retired Beefeater, Leroy, usually has the attention span of a fly in a sweets shop. He flits from one thing to another in the blink of an eye. It is difficult at times to carry on a meaningful conversation with him.

However, on more than one occasion of late, I have noticed that the mere mention of Olga draws an inordinate amount of dedicated attention from our white bearded fellow. Granted that any mention of Olga tends to draw everyone's attention especially so if it indicates her immediate or eventual arrival on the scene. In that event most of us suddenly find a compelling excuse to be elsewhere.

Not Leroy. He hangs on every word, he sighs on each syllable of Olga's name. At her very mention his face takes on the continence of a lost calf who has just spied his mother or a little boy with his runny nose pressed hard against the chilly glass of a shop window just before Christmas. It is enough to make you weep.

Dux went through this once and I'm afraid that he required 'professional' help to get over it. In fact, if you look closely, there are still two scorch marks on his temples where they attached the electrodes for those painful shock treatments. My warnings to Leroy have obviously fallen on deaf ears. It may be that he will need 'professional' help as well. Better start rounding up some stout lads, Leroy is small but feisty.

Oh, dear, some of you have gotten the wrong end of the stick here. Dux didn't actually go to a shrink...heck no...way too expensive. No indeed, we just had Leroy attach the business end of Farmer Drubbin's electric cattle prod to one of Dux's temples and one of Olga's Zappit 2000 dildos to the other. We fired them both off at once and when Dux had stopped screaming we knew the job was done.

Oh come on! Fret not, it is amazing how soon one can re-learn how to walk and speak the English language all at the same time. Six months wasn't it Dux? And that, to Dux's credit, was just off the world record. Best of all, for two full years every time Dux even hears Olga's name his nose lights up and he shakes all over for a good five minutes. Success!

The cure was, I'm afraid, not permanent and today Dux has been seen in Olga's company many times. Granted it seems to be mostly against his will. The shaking at the mention of her name continues somewhat however his nose no longer glows. Pity about that, for it was so useful on long dark nights staggering home to HWH Hall and especially on festive occasions during the Christmas season....