Folks,

Dux:

Shame, shame I say upon moi. We should, as a matter of course, never 'assume' anything. However, as I remember from my admittedly less than diligent study of elementary English grammar, and that from at least a hundred years ago, that in the absence of certain (perhaps in some cases even carnal) knowledge of the sex of any living being it is expected that we must assume the masculine.

I am 64 years of age and I've noted many changes in what is acceptable over the years. I am not sure if this rule of grammar is considered PC in all circles today. And frankly this question ranks rather high on my "don't give a crap list" considering the other more serious problems on most people's plates today. If one does not assume the masculine or the feminine then one simply has to refer to the creature as 'it' or perhaps follow the fuzzy little creature in question until it enters a public toilet or restroom facility to see which door he or she chooses..... ;\)

Frankly, for the purpose of telling this true story, the sex of the fuzzy creature is totally unimportant to me nor need it be of any great concern to the casual, non-rodent reader. In my defense, I do however understand that it is the male of the squirrel species that is the most territorial.

According to page 7,872 of the 900,000 page HWH Handbook under the heading "Squirrels Can Always Tell": "To us humans, there is no obvious difference in appearance between male and female squirrels. About the only sure way to tell the sex of a squirrel is to turn it over and look."

Most wild rodents may be reasonably expected to take serious umbrage with this blatant invasion of their privacy, and as they have very sharp teeth and claws, unless I'm really desperate for having sex, I'd as soon not go to all that trouble myself. There should after all remain some mystery in life.

Reading further in the massive handbook, I noted that: "Squirrels do communicate, by making shrill sounds (tchrring). The pitch and the duration of these sounds have meaning to other squirrels. Tail gestures are also a form of communication. The most common tail gesture is the "flicking" which means "get away!" This fits my story perfectly.

I therefore recommend that anyone, for whatever reason public or perhaps private, wanting more specific and or detailed information regarding the sex of this particular squirrel visit us at their earliest inconvenience and take it up with the cheeky rodent him or herself. On determining the sex of the squirrel, what they may then proceed to do in the privacy of the nearest thicket is entirely their own business. \:\)

Hmmmm. Meanwhile, I'll put out a pink acorn and a blue acorn and see which one the squirrel chooses. Surely tens of people are just dying to know the final result.


Originally Registered January,2001 Member Number 3044

"Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed" - Edmond Gwenn, "The Trouble With Harry"

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