Folks,

Joy and rapture!

I have just received my obligatory holiday greeting from the Lizard Lick Light and Gas company wishing me a bright and warm holiday season, a prosperous new year, and only incidentally, requesting prompt payment on my slightly overdue bill lest they be obliged to discontinue service within five full work days. I was thrilled. I was absolutely filled with the holiday spirit and choked with overwhelming gratitude. It may well be the only card I'll get.

Empty mailbox notwithstanding, as is my custom, I am busily working away at creating my own holiday greeting. In fact I always create several variations. One is for those kind souls, both relatives and friends, who by some kindness have endeared themselves to me over the past year. Another variation would be for those individuals and entities who have in some way gone out of their way to be stupid, obnoxious or down right mean spirited. Naturally I will be adding the utilities company to my long list of lucky recipients. I wonder if they would appreciate the red card with Santa holding up his index finger in a special holiday gesture or would they prefer the green one with all the elves doing the very same?

If you do not receive a card from me this year, please forgive me. There is no reason to feel that I do not appreciate your coming here. Were it within my power every demented soul and their dear and curiously tolerant boss or family who allow them to take a moment out of their busy day to drop by HWH Hall, would have only the merriest of holidays.

Happy holidays Folks.