Folks,

Dux:

Wake up Dux, it must be 4 PM where you are... ;\)

We will get back to the boys and their trip to India for fun and frolic later on when you are fully awake, if not completely sober. \:\)

NEWSFLASH
Our cats brought me the greater portion of a member of the squirrel family, only recently deceased, last night. To be honest, it may not have been for me. They may have been playing a joke on Lady T. Here is how it played out.

The fuzzy wuzzies drew lots and the winner drug the half-eaten carcass to the house and left it precisely where Lady T sits out there on the deck to smoke. Then they all hid in the bushes and waited the 2 or 3 minutes she allows between smokes. Out she came, right on cue, and was suitably and vocally disgusted. There was great happiness, merriment and giggles throughout the feline colony for the thirty seconds it took her to rush back inside to drag me out of a warm bed where I was reading "100 Ways to Collect on Your Life Insurance Without Really Dying".

As soon as the door slammed behind my wife, one of the faster cats, I am not positive which one, though I have my suspicions, run up and snatched the grizzly remains and hid them under some dry leaves in the yard. Out I came cussing and spitting to find nothing but a few telltale guard hairs sticking to the door mat. I knew a joke was being played and I played right along. Ain't I a stinka?

I can tell you there was some stifled snickering from the hidden members of the catnip crowd, as I stormed back into the house (knowingly playing my part in the subterfuge). I ranted and I raved about the delusionary and dilatory properties of tobacco smoke. I accused my wife of imbibing strong drink or rolling her own oddly smelling cigarettes.

Shocked by my attack, she protested loudly and dragged me outside to show me the tattered evidence.... and of course there was none. We looked everywhere but there was nary a bushy tailed nut cracker to be found, well chewed or otherwise. My wife just shook her head in silence ( yes, I was amazed at that myself) and then she swore off cigarettes....for about 30 minutes. She lit one to celebrate kicking the habit.

This morning those fiendish bastards had returned the squirrel head and some of its less digestible remains to the precise spot where my wife had first seen it. It is a testament to the power of suggestion on the human mind that my dear wife did not wake me up but instead, looked around her to see if anyone was watching and instantly put out her just lit cigarette and went off to work. I will not tell her that I also found the squirrel lying there this morning... unless I am quite sure she has started smoking once again.

OK, I admitted I am a stinker. ;\)


Originally Registered January,2001 Member Number 3044

"Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed" - Edmond Gwenn, "The Trouble With Harry"

CELEBRATING EIGHTEEN YEARS and over 20 MILLION VIEWS on SNAFU's HWH thread- April 2019