Folks,

Dux:

After many years and far too many long pages of typing to count, I have finally earned a 'LOL' from you. And to think that all it took was alluding to the dirty laundry in Calcutta.

Not since winning the bobbing for apples certificate at the Grumley Bunch Halloween Carnival have I been so delighted. As I recollect, it was a damn shame they discovered that "someone" had substituted Pouritt & Sypp ale for the water in their leaky wooden tub. The line of contestants noticeably thinned after the water was reinstated.

Yes, I am honored, I am humbled and I am suitably proud. I can now retire from writing this terrible mess having received the highest accolade I can ever hope to achieve. Well, OK there was that little trinket pinned on my chest by Constable Drinkwater while staggering our way to jail. That farthing sized medal was for having bowled a drunken but otherwise perfect game over at the Beastly Drop, All Down Hill Bowling Alley. And there were those two small beribboned sparkleys garnered for winning the sack race at the Tumbley Downs County Fair two years running. Let me not fail to mention that genuine imitation gold pin for perfect Sunday School attendance when I was eight, and certainly I cannot neglect to mention the light but solid aluminum trophy presented to me, at but 16 years of age, signifying me as "Student most likely to make Trustee" from my dear Alma Mater... other than that nothing else even comes close.