Folks,

Dux:

I know exactly what you mean about that innocent fumbling about. Just the other night I was given a sound tongue lashing by a comely young woman who was wearing a skin tight red dress, stiletto heels and black fishnet hose. I had innocently brushed my hand against this ladie's behind as I passed her in the dark. I should have been more aware of her proximity even though she was standing on a dark Lizard Lick street corner for she was carrying a large flashlight with a red filter over the lens. I cannot be completely sure, however I do not believe she was impersonating Guy Fawkes at the time. To be honest, I am not absolutely sure what she was screaming about either, however, I do recall that the sum of $100 was mentioned several times.....

Unless you happened to live in old Salem, Mass. many years ago, a bonfire never sounded so very...very practical before. I thought all those hot, showery, sparky smoky things were good for was burning the odd witch, illumination, warmth and a good fill of charred hot dogs and marshmallows. Looks like the old country still has some clever ideas from which we in the colonies might benefit.

One technical question regarding bonfire safety occurs to me. How close does one dare to get to one of those roaring, fiery things when one is completely loaded to the gills with a rather volatile beverage that is sloshing about inside and tainting one's every breath?

Drat! I came down with a sore throat and never did finish that online correspondence course in sword swallowing and fire eating. If I get too close to the conflagration on Monday night that particular skill might come in mighty handy.