Folks,

C51:

Deeeeelightful! Thanks for posting a brand new and exciting story. I believe that this may be the first new story posted here in turtles ages. It is so well written too. Equal in quality to any posted here so far in my opinion. The fortunes of war so often turned against even the bravest of men.

Well Dux, I am truly devastated to hear that we are Persona non Grata at your crumbly old castle. Perhaps you have us confused with some other ruffians? We are the ruffians who will tell Olga where to find your sorry arse if you do not instantly put out that welcome mat. Who cares if you unlock the wine cellar.

I know for a fact that all you have left down there is a 200 year old bottle of CowVoyeur brandy turned to vinegar years ago, a cheap gallon jug of Château Thames Embankment Vin. July and 32 full cases of Pourittwell & Sypp best bitters recently delivered by irate creditors from the financially troubled Prince and Polecat. We know that because Olga sold everything else on the black market in September. What? You didn't know that on that day in September that you were sneaking around in that dark cobblestoned alley with us that you were actually buying back your own bottle of wine? As P.T. Barnum once said, "There's one born every minute".

I love the bus. However ye olde steering wheel seems to be the wrong way round. You would have to be driving on the left side of the road with it that way....what's that C51? They do drive on the left-hand-side in Britain? You're kidding! Really? I've been driving for years and I've never driven my combination motor bike, lawn mower and power washer on the left....hmmmmm, wait, drive on the left you say, that surly would explain why I've been run off the road so many times....

The steam engine is really great my friend. The 'MR' probably stands for Mr. Rogers of US TV fame. None of my business of course but I'd remove the MR and paint the engine blue, Old Boy, and call it something fetching like, like, say, Thomas. That's a good British name right out of the scriptures. Then you could create an animated TV show featuring Thomas and all his rolling stock friends from down at the round house. That show would probably captivate millions of kids. Once that is done you just charge all the little kiddies a high tariff to get in to see their hero. How about it? We'll be filthy rich. Hold on to just the 'we'll be filthy' part. Kill joy C51 claims that has already been done by someone else. How do you like that, and it was my idea too....

OK, if the castle is still off limits to us heathens then do you think we might find the odd crust of bread or a stray biscuit at the shooting lodge? The trip to France on that rather quaint little steam locomotive promises to be a very long one, particularly so since the Chunnel won't be built for another 50 years and we can't risk being seen on that leaky ferry. So, I do hope I can get a small bite to eat. We haven't moved an inch and I'm already feeling a bit peckish.