Folks,

Dux:

Tut-tut. I hear that the moment you were told about the much coveted Dean Martin Abstinence award that you went right out and bought a bottle of Cutty Sark or was it Jack Daniels to celebrate. Do not sneer at the Mike Tyson Flower Arranging Challenge Cup. C51 won that 3 years running and he doesn't know an American Beauty Rose from poison ivy. Yes, he stays pretty itchy during the warmer months. ;\)

Methinks your modesty is surpassed only by your lack of judgment regarding the artistic talent of others. Thank you for the undeserved compliment. You are a good mate and entirely too kind. I had planned to have one of those Firestreaks lifting off the wing but being lazy, I changed my mind.

I stopped by the Prince and Polecat last evening and found the landlord, old Snavely Sudsworth, in a pitiful state. It seems that you have been missed two nights in a row and he is already becoming terribly over-stocked with your favorite brand Porrittwell & Sypp Best Bitters. I ordered a large glass of Château Thames Embankment, Vin. this week and listened attentively.

Facing insolvency Snavely pleaded with me to make sure that you were in good health and fully recovered from that unfortunate accident that occurred last Saturday night. I had not heard about it I said. Snavely wiped his reddish eyes and, looking hopefully at the door when it opened he was visibly saddened again when it was Rodney Navalscratcher and not you who came staggering in, he began to tell me, between pitiful crying jags, what had happened.

Is it true that on the night in question several of the local boys were engrossed in a drunken but friendly game of darts when Homer Figgstew let out a beastly loud belch and tossed his trifle of mostly undigested toad in the hole all over Olga's lap? If that is true, I understand that this disgusting event caused Olga to rise suddenly screaming a loud Russian oath and turning over a table and two chairs just as Foggy Dimmshott was throwing his finely balanced Cheetum & Wynn solid brass competition dart. I'm told that at this very same moment you stepped right out of the gents and stopped the ill-thrown dart with a mighty heroic effort that caught it right between your baby blue eyes. Good show pal. Who knew you were so athletic?

Snavely has asked me to politely inquire as to whether you are, (one) contacting your solicitors or (two) taking your custom elsewhere or (three) loading your pistol, and if none of the above, are you on the mend and when precisely will you once again darken the door of the P&P? Humor him Dear Boy, this is the request of a desperate man. ;\)


Originally Registered January,2001 Member Number 3044

"Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed" - Edmond Gwenn, "The Trouble With Harry"

CELEBRATING EIGHTEEN YEARS and over 20 MILLION VIEWS on SNAFU's HWH thread- April 2019