Agree on just about everything. I gave up on AI flight leaders long ago. I always fly as squadron commanding officer. This also lets me modify all missions for that day and reassign pilots as I choose. I don't let my flights use enemy positions as waypoints, for example, if I can help it. It also lets me avail myself of the well-known "lost RBII commands" Ctrl-E, R and H, (flight engage enemy, regroup and rtb).
Now if I am not flight leader and I want to stay with the assigned mission when he goes haring off after some Gothas, I must use Autopilot Navigate, (Alt-A), to head for the next waypoint. Autopilot Full, (Ctrl-A), lets that idiot flight leader bring me along with him.
From my younger days wargaming ground battles, I have kept the habit of declining to engage unless I have the advantage. I would avoid even a 1-1 ratio unless other factors favor the engagement, (such as engaging over friendly groundfire). Actually, I avoid dogfighting with enemy scouts at all unless they are an obstacle to the completion of my mission, (I am flying a barrage patrol and they are escorting enemy reconnaissance aircraft, for example).
Absolutely agree on balloon-busting. I always lower my altitude approaching the balloon waypoint to about 5500 feet in View Flight Plan, (balloons are at 5000). Then I get the balloon and get the hell out. Or Object Capture, ("O") the balloon and Ctrl-E to make my wingmen attack it while I cover. But it is when I have successfully *defended* a balloon that I feel I have really done something.
Yes, nap-of-the-earth home after a ground attack. If I am wounded or harried, I will land at the first friendly infantry position I can find. This was often done in RL.
They are not exactly about staying alive, but your list of suggestions made me think of Mark66's "20 Extreme Rules", available along with a mass of other campaigning advice at Nowi's site:
http://majpalmer.com/horst/mark66.htm . Mark made the "Moving Front Patch" for WFP.
S!