Folks,

TK:

I must say that your post made my day. The view counter on the main page is a recent feature of our forum. I note the number of hits on a daily basis however there is nothing like having someone actually pop in and say a few kind words to get the creative juices flowing. Of course in Dux's case, what will be flowing will not be juice...and no matter what he says to the contrary, it certainly will not be tea...

I am a bit surprised but immodestly delighted that you enjoyed reading all those previous pages of SNAFU's HWH Cont. We have had some good fun over the years. Thank you for posting those links. Though it is poor payment indeed for your efforts, I do not feel quite as silly posting the next in the flight instructor series. At this time our readers should set aside their disbelief that such a craft as a two-seater Spit existed yet keep a firm grasp upon the dubious likelihood that JRT would ever be allowed near one.

Dux:

Tea? The last time your cup had just tea in it you were prpbably wearing short pants. ;\)

So Many Parts; so Little Time
BY: JRT
HWH Cont.
Page 11
5/1/02


No, this is not the story of a very busy barber, neither is it the story of an actor in much demand, it is, in fact, a little story about an all too brief flight in a wartime training Spitfire.

I am so happy that you chose to come up with me once again. Yes, I know that both your doctor and your psychiatrist advised you against it. What do they know? I am happy to see that all your cuts have healed and your bones have mended so nicely since our last flight together. No, the scar running from your temple to your Adams Apple is hardly noticeable now. It is incredible what plastic surgeons can do these days. I hardly recognized you…er… I mean you look like your old self once again, except perhaps you have lost some weight? Yes, I see, having your jaws wired shut must have made it rather difficult to maintain you weight.

Enough of this idle chit-chat let’s get on with it. I’ve already completed the pre-flight and the fitter and rigger have everything ready for us. Climb aboard and mind your chute as you scramble inside. Yes, indeed, it is a bit cramped. There is more room than the last time; you’ve lost weight remember? Ok, the engine is turning over nicely and I’ve signaled for the chocks to be pulled away. We’re off.

What’s that you’re screaming? Yes it is a bit tough to see round the nose when taxiing this bird. Do not worry, I’m an expert at this by now. It is not a problem with which I cannot easily deal. We just ran over what? Watch out for what group of men. Oops! Oh well that must have been painful. Look in the rear view mirror, you’ll just see those fellows making friendly gestures toward us. What does two fingers mean?

Here we are at our take-off point. Aren’t you excited? As soon as we receive clearance we’ll be off. Yes, we always leave the hood back on takeoff. It helps with visibility and you never know when the pilot may need to make a hasty getaway, wait, I mean make a quick lean out the side to see where he is actually going. We have clearance to takeoff so I’m opening the throttle with our flaps fully extended. Here we go. Yes, it is rather a bumpy ride. We’ll try hard to miss the rougher spots. When you notice the bumping stop we’ll either be in a tree or airborne. That was a joke, please stop praying it is distracting.

Ahh, now we’re rotating. Don’t get excited, that’s a pilot’s term, we aren’t actually revolving. And now we’ll raise the wheels. Do not worry they often stick a bit that is why that light is blinking. I’ll fly through the upper branches of that old oak over there. That usually sets them right. Why are you praying again? See there, the light has gone out as I told you it would. Bucket of bolts? I’ll have you know that I stayed up all night meticulously removing and then replacing every piece of the engine with my very own hands. Look at the grease under my nails.

My time was limited and while it is perfectly true that there were a few small parts left over when I was finished, that should be of no consequence to you whatsoever. I have a theory that they always put extra parts in the Merlin engine. It’s probably called something like “planned redundancy”. Should enemy shells hit the engine they will probably hit one of those extra parts and therefore cause no significant damage to the real workings of the motor at all. I’ve worked all that out entirely by myself. Why are you praying louder?

Look outside and enjoy the view. Hmmm. You are quite right we should be somewhere above those beastly cows by now. I wonder what’s wrong? I’m giving it full throttle. The pointy end is above the horizon. We should be climbing now. Yes, now that you mention it the engine does sound a bit rough. Well, roughish. Let me try a few things. Wow, that certainly did it, you can’t even hear the ruddy engine running at all now. How smooth is that, then? You think the engine has stopped. That is absurd. If the engine had seized we’d stop climbing and then we’d stop flying... OK, perhaps you’re right, we do not seem to be climbing so I’ll bank around for a quick dead stick landing. Now that is something I’m well practiced at. See how I’ve lined us up with the runway already. Our wheels are down and our flaps are down. Piece of cake.

This isn’t so hard. I agree with you when the prop fell off I was a tiny bit concerned. I have everything completely under control. Now if that blinking Lancaster were not taking off smack in the middle of our runway I think we might make it....


Originally Registered January,2001 Member Number 3044

"Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed" - Edmond Gwenn, "The Trouble With Harry"

CELEBRATING EIGHTEEN YEARS and over 20 MILLION VIEWS on SNAFU's HWH thread- April 2019