Folks,

Jens:
Looks like the problem fixed itself or it was a problem with my browser? Who knows?

Here we have an even more difficult problem for our readers. How to read through the following mess and comment upon it truthfully without hurting my feelings....

Here’s What Really Happened

It is a cold, rain soaked night in the late sixties. Two old wartime pals, Dux and JRT and their wives, are just stepping out of the local Cinema. JRT remarks that it was an enjoyable film. Dux agrees. The women are still swooning over Sean Connery as James Bond. JRT and Dux lead the ladies across the wet, reflective street treading lightly amongst the dancing rain drops. On the other side they turn down the dark sidewalk toward a little eatery whose golden window they can see twinkling no more than half a block away.

Seated inside, their rain gear draped over an empty chair, dripping on the carpet, the couples are warming a bit with their frozen hands stretched toward a blazing fire. No electric fire here, this is the real thing. The men pick up their conversation regarding the plot of the film and the ladies continue discussing Mr. Connery’s eyes and how it was such a struggle to keep their nickers from bunching up just looking at him up there on the screen. The men ignore the ladies conversation and the ladies seem to have no trouble ignoring the men’s. After all, they easily do it all the time.

JRT is reminding Dux of one of their wartime adventures. The day they captured the beautiful Nazi spy Regretta Weemet. JRT allows as how he was every bit as good as Bond maybe better. Dux smiles and is about to reply when JRT’s wife pipes up and says that he is Double O Six and three Quarters, licensed to hunt, fish and to drive a personal vehicle...JRT gives his wife a nasty look and she replies with a withering “go to hell” smile then goes back to discussing Bond's bedroom eyes.

Dux asks JRT if he has a copy of the story about the capture of Regretta from the HWH archives. JRT says he isn't’t sure. If their pal SNAFU were around he might lay his hand on one, but SNAFU was gone, long gone. Now Dux’s wife speaks up and wonders what ever happened to SNAFU. He wasn't’t lost in action as was C51 replies JRT. Dux explained to his wife that, no indeed, SNAFU was sleeping over at Farmer Drubbin's place and met disaster there. He came home drunk one night and when answering a call of nature, missed the outhouse, stumbled into the pigsty and a big sow bit him right on the arse. Lucky accident that, JRT concluded, it was such a nasty bite it soon became septic. Two weeks later he was invalided out of the service. I’d love to have been there when his mates found out how he was wounded laughed JRT...and where, and by what shouted Dux with another big laugh.

JRT’s wife asked what happened to C51 and how he was lost in action. JRT looked at Dux and Dux just shrugged so JRT began to tell her what happened. C51 nearly died of 'seenus' trouble during the last few weeks of the Battle of Britain. Oh no, exclaimed Dux’s wife. You must mean 'sinus' trouble JRT, but nobody ever died from that. JRT looked her straight in the eyes and stated with emphasis, No, I mean 'seenus' trouble and that, my dear, is quite deadly I assure you. As expected, he was instantly asked to elaborate.

As he perused the wine list, JRT paused a few pregnant breaths just for dramatic effect, and then he looked up to speak. With a perfectly straight face he explained... One night C51 and I were chatting up these two gorgeous but apparently married sisters. Things were beginning to happen when their husbands, both professional wrestlers, 'seen us'.

I ran faster than C51 that night or I wouldn't’t be here to tell the story, assured JRT. Dux was nodding. There was that nasty rumor that you tripped C51 as he tried to run past you just before you made it over that wall and fell into the cesspool, mentioned Dux with a twinkle in his eye, just to keep things accurate. Later after the meal, everyone was still laughing but all agreed that JRT looked rather sheepish as he was heatedly denying that rumor...