Posted By: semmern
Chuck Norris pilot jokes - 10/18/11 12:35 PM
Chuck Norris doesn’t request clearances, he states intentions.
Chuck Norris is the only person ever to land on runway 37.
Hijackers squawk 7500 when Chuck Norris is on board
Chuck Norris once shot down three enemy aircraft with his aux fuel tank.
Chuck Norris has never landed with a crosswind. The wind would never dare
to cross Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t fly into headwinds…the wind is always running away
from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris flies, the altimeter setting is 00.00. Chuck Norris is
never under pressure.
Right of Way rules do not apply when Chuck Norris is flying. If you are
flying toward Chuck Norris, you are wrong.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shoot approaches…he kills them.
Chuck Norris is never off of glideslope, the glideslope is off of Chuck
Norris
Two way contact for Chuck Norris is when he hits you with both fists
simultaneously
Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier with his Bell X-1 Jet. Chuck Norris
broke the sound barrier with his fist.
Chuck Norris was told to ident, the controller was greeted with a fist
coming out of his radar screen.
Chuck Norris doesn’t level off; he tells the altimeter to stop moving
Chuck Norris was once denied a clearance… once
Chuck Norris was flying and saw a wall of clouds ahead so he decided to
punch through them. He then got back in his helicopter and flew through the
hole he just made.
Chuck Norris doesn’t have emergencies, only moments of brief excitement.
Chuck Norris cannot be tracked on radar, if he appears, it is too late; you
are already dead.
A good flight for Chuck Norris is a bad flight for you.
A Flight Docs gives med up chits, Chuck Norris gives med down kicks.
Chuck Norris once moved a stationary front.
All survival vests will be fitted with a Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris isn’t holding, he is circling above his victims.
Chuck Norris provides close air support via flying round house kicks.
No one knows what Chuck Norris’ tale number is, nobody has ever gotten that
close.
Chuck Norris is the only person ever to land on runway 37.
Hijackers squawk 7500 when Chuck Norris is on board
Chuck Norris once shot down three enemy aircraft with his aux fuel tank.
Chuck Norris has never landed with a crosswind. The wind would never dare
to cross Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t fly into headwinds…the wind is always running away
from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris flies, the altimeter setting is 00.00. Chuck Norris is
never under pressure.
Right of Way rules do not apply when Chuck Norris is flying. If you are
flying toward Chuck Norris, you are wrong.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shoot approaches…he kills them.
Chuck Norris is never off of glideslope, the glideslope is off of Chuck
Norris
Two way contact for Chuck Norris is when he hits you with both fists
simultaneously
Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier with his Bell X-1 Jet. Chuck Norris
broke the sound barrier with his fist.
Chuck Norris was told to ident, the controller was greeted with a fist
coming out of his radar screen.
Chuck Norris doesn’t level off; he tells the altimeter to stop moving
Chuck Norris was once denied a clearance… once
Chuck Norris was flying and saw a wall of clouds ahead so he decided to
punch through them. He then got back in his helicopter and flew through the
hole he just made.
Chuck Norris doesn’t have emergencies, only moments of brief excitement.
Chuck Norris cannot be tracked on radar, if he appears, it is too late; you
are already dead.
A good flight for Chuck Norris is a bad flight for you.
A Flight Docs gives med up chits, Chuck Norris gives med down kicks.
Chuck Norris once moved a stationary front.
All survival vests will be fitted with a Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris isn’t holding, he is circling above his victims.
Chuck Norris provides close air support via flying round house kicks.
No one knows what Chuck Norris’ tale number is, nobody has ever gotten that
close.
