I got a call from the police the other day saying they caught the guy that stole my wife's credit card.
They asked if I wanted the credit card returned to her,,,,so I told them:
,
No,,let him keep it, he is charging less than my wife does..
- I know those voices in my head are not real, but man they have some good ideas.
- I never killed anyone, but I have read a large number of obituaries with great satisfaction.
- If I cannot make it to your funeral, I will certainly send a message indicating my approval.
- Most of my Friends are Imaginary
- Time is money, so I decided to sell my watch.
| 
