That's a waste of time, being down on yourself. We've all been there. Stay positive, just get back to it. You did it once, you can do it again. Probably easier since you know how to do it better now. Set short term goals to hit, don't worry about the finish line.
IMO, join a gym and get on a stationary bike there. Put on some headphones, listen to music, watch a movie or get some audio books (that's my thing) and go to it. On the road, you have to be mindful of drivers, the road etc. You can unplug your brain more in the gym and it's safe. Also, there's no downhill coasting on a stationary--it's ALL exercise. Personally, I do the recumbent bike since it's comfortable and works a couple more muscles. Find one that shows your heart rate. Start light, build up your time, then base your level on your heart rate as you ease into your ideal heart rate. IIRC, that's 220 minus your age (max heart rate)...75-80% of that is where you want to be for your exercise to burn fat.
Give the intermittent fasting a chance. It's effective and not hard to keep up with. A good app/website for tracking calories and macros is enlightening. Don't guess about what you're taking in or you can wreck all of your efforts.
You can get that BP down, as well as cholesterol and blood sugar in no time. The rest will come. The sooner you start, the sooner you start hitting goals! Get the endorphins going, it works.

Find some new favorite foods that work for you. You don't have to go cold turkey, just start limiting how often you eat the favorite stuff. Have a cheat meal every week...not a cheat "day" though. You'll find you enjoy it a LOT more, so in the end you're still happy and have something to look forward to.

Chucky, I remember your spill well. I was on the fence at the time about getting bicycles again (we used to tote bikes to Callaway Gardens when we lived in Atlanta), but your story took me off the fence about it.

Dude, I've fallen off that horse so many times since 2009! I feel like I'm perpetually saying, "Ok, it's time to get serious with it again!" or "Alright, let's make this a new start!" Then there's, "We'll start fresh again tomorrow!" Over and over and over, always getting started but never finishing.

Ever wonder why I post lots of pics but seldom full body shots of myself (other than my wife not thinking about taking one)? Because I continue to back slide and have never completely recovered. I'd gotten down to 180 lbs. (179.8 on a cruise ship gym digital scale), lowest I remember in 30 years with maybe only 15 or 20 lbs. to go. And then I blew it on the last freaking full day of the cruise (a sea day), just a couple of hours apart as my wife was taking a cooking class while I headed poolside in the middle of dessert sampling and binge-sampled everything! I got extremely down about it, thinking how could I have kept my weight steady on a 5-day (IIRC) cruise and then on the last day, lose all self-control? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Now I struggle to stay under 200 lbs. which at 5'-9" (175.3 cm), is just under technical obesity, meaning no *real* progress in almost 10 years (other than keeping off the bulk of my weight loss and gaining some muscle). So I'm still ~40 lbs. (~18 kg) over what I probably should be and can't seem to budge from it. It was my becoming so down about it that killed me, one really bad day shouldn't have sabotaged my efforts, but I let it happen.

What has saved me from further damage is that I have an awesome support system with my wife and parents (who now live on our property), as they're trying to live the same healthy lifestyle (father is mild diabetic, never wants to deal with the syringe). Also, although so very short lived, I remember just how great it felt to be at my best (to that point), springing out of bed in the morning so light on my feet. And yes, also other times in the 'bedroom' (oh man, weight/fitness for an aging male makes such a difference)!

A big personal motivation is that my wife, after 30 years, has never given up on me and now won't let me give up on myself. How to motivate me to get my keaster up and out of my comfortable office chair and do some exercising? Occasionally it has to be extreme, like putting on a sexy "AC/DC High Voltage" workout shirt, cranking up track 1 "Hells Bells" on the stereo and saying to me, "Let's Rock!" And I have my own motivational ways when necessary, just as silly and effective. Still, the biggest motivation is remembering how it was for that short time when you were at your best, and how it will probably be even better as you surpass your previous success. I have a hard time feeling like I'm always backtracking. I just have to get over it and get on with it.

If I didn't have a partner I'd maybe try to find one, a friend or family member maybe, someone supportive to workout with and exchange ideas and accomplishments. I dunno, if I were by myself, maybe I'd reach deep and find that motivation within myself. What an accomplishment that would be! Just forget about all the previous false starts, those were just warm-ups. Your next start is the one that's going to take you the distance dude!

Never gets old...

Thanks guys. I jumped at the chance of the 'well man clinic' because I knew the nurse would 'motivate' me,as they had done in 2016.

All I can do is start again and stay positive

Kick some ass, Chucky!

++++++++++

I'm outta here for a while, gotta start packing, cleaning up and then get the rental car (I wouldn't mind another Nissan Rogue).

But first, a couple more healthy foodie pics.

As with Oklahoma/Missouri, I made several trail mix bags (12), each packing quite a calorie punch. Mainly for the road, shouldn't need extra calories in the middle of Manhattan (what cart vendors are for)...



Calorie count (each bag has one serving of each, except prunes)...
==========
Cashews: 160
Almonds: 170
Craisins: 130
Pumpkin Seeds: 180
2 Prunes: 40

680 cal. per bag

x12 = 8,160 cal.


Lunch was Costco rotisserie chicken (BBQ sauce is non-HFCS) and sautéd mushrooms with garlic and sliced almonds (stuff that needed to be eaten before the trip)...




I eat healthy enough but I still eat too much, and this isn't going to change over the next couple of weeks. I give up, as soon as I get back home I'm counting calories.

Later.

Good luck, Chucky!

Absolutely!
I barely seemed to make any progress over the winter, and slipped back Nov-Jan. It’s disheartening, but you have to keep on, reevaluate, adjust and just remember that even if the weight loss stalls, you’re still getting all kinds of benefits from your efforts. Keep up with the scale but don’t live by it. There are too many factors. If one day made a huge difference, most likely it’s salt and water weight. It’ll come off over time, it doesn’t matter as far as fat and muscle.
All that matters is what you do today. Shame won’t do anything but weigh you down.

Check this out. Everyone knows Chris Pratt was pretty well out of shape and big during Parks and Rec (300 lbs) but got in great shape for Guardians.
I saw this when I started getting serious about all of this and the perspective was helpful.

The significant part starts at 2:41, but what stays in my mind is at 3:46.
Interestingly, it’s been almost 8 months for me since getting dedicated and everything for me is completely different. I still have a way to go, but I couldn’t really picture being where I am last Sept. Time is going to go by regardless of what you decide to do. Time travel is just a matter of perspective.

Good points, RK.

Bad form, but the wheels were turning after I shut down. One more thing I wanted to mention...

If my weight/size ends up staying about where it is now, on the higher end of overweight (say, no more than about 190 lbs. [86.2 kg.]), it wouldn't be the end of the world, at least not yet. I feel completely healthy in *all* aspects of my life right now, today, but I do fear what aging might eventually do to me if I don't finish getting the weight off. My 30's were terrible overall, turning 40 was a nightmare, 41 was a second chance to enjoy life the way I wanted to (and have for almost a decade). But how long can you take "youth" for granted? I'd rather take nothing for granted and figure out how to finish what I started, which seems twice as hard at 50 than it does at 40 (exaggeration, I know).

Ok, that should be it.

packing to make the drive home. awesome last 3 days, pissing blood and passing [kidney] stones. nyc has good medical care, though.

now know what my insides look like via imaging ultrasound. everything checks out except gallstones, might lose that sucker in the future.

think my diet is good now, you ain’t seen nothing yet! don’t plan on going through this ever again.

That sucks! I’ve had a dozen or so of those since I was 12. It’s miserable. Especially riding in a car. Hope you passed them all. Get rid of that gall stone, it will bring you down too.
Stay hydrated, keep the meds going if you haven’t gotten rid of them all. Find a recipe for choking down some apple cider vinegar. It isn’t easy. LOL

agree on all counts, rk. so far on the road, feeling better than i have in a long time, just a little drowsy - wife driving. most pain and discomfort i’ve been through...second night/morning i cried uncle...literally. only relief was a scalding hot shower on my back. wife had to help me dress, i couldn’t even walk 3 1/2 blocks to urgent care, hailed a cab.

we were there when they opened at 8, took me straight to the back and gave me a shot, brought immediate relief. felt like i could jump off the table and hit the streets again, incredible difference in seconds.

got a follow up call while writing this post (i’m slow on iphone), doc said what you said- keep taking meds until done. official imaging results are ok, everything sent to my gp, we’ll see about zapping the gallstones next.

Yeah, if you don’t keep at least a little pain meds in your system, if it flares up you often need a shot to get it back under control. Pills are slow and you might not keep anything down. I remember driving myself to the e-room one morning, opening the door throwing up at intersections it was so bad. It will literally put you on the floor when you have a bad one. I’m familiar with the desperation that leads you to hot showers and baths, but it isn’t a muscle pull so it’s just a distraction. Avoid cars when you can, that seems to set it off. Be still. LOL
Phenergan with the pain med helps. Keeps your stomach under control quickly and being a sedative, can calm you down to give it a chance to kick in. Take your flowmax too, I imagine they gave you that as well. Wear warm ups, nothing tight.
I hope this doesn’t go on long, I hate to see anyone dealing with these bastids!

phone lost my post...

anyway, chillin’ in woodstock, va. feeling ok so far.
must be some good stuff i’m on (for 8 more days).

Glad you are making it home OK.

However, I do have to say that you should take a closer look at the stuff you are eating. Those stones came from somewhere and it wasn't the air and water.

correct. kidney stones likely came from *lack* of water, after pushing so hard
previous 7 1/2 days. even with weather, we were killing itinerary [on my nyc thread] until last
2 1/2 days with my problem.

gallstones may or may not have affected me, according to nyc doc. know about
them only because she requested full abdominal scan. but way too much rich and
fatty foods (pics coming) so we think maybe, but two separate issues.

only pain i feel now is typing without a keyboard.

p.s. virginia is freaking gorgous.

Yeah, it is.

Why don't you introduce me to her?

come out virginia, don’t make me wait
you catholic girls start much too late
ah, but sooner or later it comes down to fate
i might as well be the one.

++++++++++

I-81 south, nearing roanoke, such beautiful mountains.

+++++++++

i believe more than anything, i’m paying for my previous lifestyle, suffering the
consequences of not taking care of myself properly. expensive lesson. plan to
return to nyc in december and finish itinerary (missed the met museum and misc.
stuff on upper east and west side). ‘honeymoon’ cut short makes me not so happy camper.

gonna go home now, see my doc, get healthy and kick ass.

carolinas also beautiful. should make it into atlanta by 8 tonight. brother and
wife making grilled shrimp salads, shouldn’t kill me.

despite mileage walked previous week, feeling like i need to hit the weights and yoga.
gonna go real easy on bad fats until gallbladder is fixed (stones are small), maybe
rip that sucker out if i can’t lose the stones. gonna see what my options are.

really didn’t eat too badly in nyc, except two big heavy 3-course meals that put a
hurtin’ on me...more when i post trip aar.

i stopped doing buffets for similar reason, and now anxious to get rid of aches
and pains i’ve been #%&*$# about for each eons now. this should be a great start.

Kidney stones build up over a long period of time. You had it long before you felt it. They hurt when they break loose and move around. Urinating blood mainly comes from the infection.
Some of us just have the body chemistry to be prone to them, but body acidity has something to do with it too, which is why I mentioned the apple cider vinegar. Drinking a lot of water to keep flushed out of course helps.
There are different kinds of stones of course, you'll have to have it checked out if you can catch it to know what kind you've got and IF there's something you can do to prevent more.

beating atlanta morning traffic, heading home. wife being a real trooper
doing all the driving. last night first comfortable uninterrupted sleep, except
to pee. much to learn about kidney stones and gallstones, will research when
i get home.

ready to remodel our gym and get truely serious with it. both of us now on a
mission to *completely* get rid of excess belly fat, tight straight abs, keeping our
internals as healthy as possible. just the sight of crap food makes my stomach
wretch, so should be easier now to stay the course.

be nice if i can keep my gallbladder for a bit longer.

Going to sound weird to some here, but I had some "interesting" dreams (not nightmares, a bit more weird) and a few more thoughts... and I'm considering cutting a lot of meat from my diet. I really can't agree with the conditions under which it mostly is "produced" these days, from a ethical point it's crazy and then there's the question of how many hormones, antibiotics and other chemicals we ingest trough it.

Need to find some farmers that have a proper relationship with their cattle, pigs and chickens. My brother in law hunts, that's another option I might extend...