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#4416970 - 04/19/18 01:52 PM Retired to Alaska  
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 5,864
Bill_Grant Offline
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Bill_Grant  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 5,864
Dallas, TX
Jeff had been in business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month, otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, there comes a knock on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

"Name's Stan, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00."
“Great," says Jeff. "After six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks.

Thank you."

As Stan is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you. Be some drinkin’."

“Not a problem," says Jeff. "After 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."

"Well I get along with people. I'll be all right and if not, I can handle myself pretty well. I'll be there. Thanks again."

"More 'n’ likely be some wild sex too."

"Now that's really not a problem," says Jeff, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months. I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?”
"Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us."


~Bill

In my defense, I was left unsupervised...
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#4416972 - 04/19/18 01:57 PM Re: Retired to Alaska [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 121,384
PanzerMeyer Offline
Pro-Consul of Florida
PanzerMeyer  Offline
Pro-Consul of Florida
King Crimson - SimHQ's Top Poster

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 121,384
Miami, FL USA
LMAO


“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
#4416974 - 04/19/18 02:13 PM Re: Retired to Alaska [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 25,138
RSColonel_131st Offline
Lifer
RSColonel_131st  Offline
Lifer

Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 25,138
Vienna, 2nd rock left.
rofl

One of the best ones recently.

#4416975 - 04/19/18 02:20 PM Re: Retired to Alaska [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 5,751
rwatson Offline
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rwatson  Offline
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Posts: 5,751
New Concord, Ohio
Another weiner Bill


Russ
Semper Fi
#4416976 - 04/19/18 02:30 PM Re: Retired to Alaska [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 15,786
Haggart Offline
I Fought Diablo
Haggart  Offline
I Fought Diablo
Veteran

Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 15,786
The Lone Star State
Thought this was going to be about real estate or what it's like retiring in Alaska.....while having breakfast I decided to read it ..... nope

Bill u sick bastiche !


"everything lives by a law, a central balance sustains all"
#4416999 - 04/19/18 04:13 PM Re: Retired to Alaska [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,196
Chef Offline
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Chef  Offline
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,196
North Carolina
They should put that in "The Long Dark" as another predator.


The road less traveled is filled with fewer needy people.
#4417403 - 04/22/18 06:04 PM Re: Retired to Alaska [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,556
Li'lJugs Offline
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Li'lJugs  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,556
St. Cloud MN USA
Hilarious, Bill!


Hi, I'm Larry and this my brother Dayrle, and this is my other brother Dayrle.
#4417420 - 04/22/18 07:40 PM Re: Retired to Alaska [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,581
Raw Kryptonite Offline
Beat the Kobayashi Maru
Raw Kryptonite  Offline
Beat the Kobayashi Maru
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,581
MS
Gonna be a bad night in Alaska!


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