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#4411223 - 03/17/18 07:50 PM Free eBook novel now avail! AAR with a difference. Bering Strait UCAV campaign. Update 16.03 ***** [Re: Nixer]  
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@Nixer

Hi thanks for the enthusiasm ... it will be on Amazon over summer. New plot twists I'm sure, so I'll make sure I flag it and hope people will still review and socialise it so we can raise a bit of moola for SimHQ...

THX!

H


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#4411354 - 03/18/18 07:30 PM Re: Free eBook novel now avail! AAR with a difference. Bering Strait UCAV campaign. Update 16.03 [Re: HeinKill]  
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@all contributors and lurkers!

While it's still fresh:

- Any comments about plot? Things to be sure to keep, things to get rid of!
- Any characters you would not miss, or don't work?
- Other suggestions?

All welcome!! But please use the [spoiler] [/ spoiler] code if you are making specific comments about the ending.

H


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#4411356 - 03/18/18 07:53 PM Re: Free eBook novel now avail! AAR with a difference. Bering Strait UCAV campaign. Update 16.03 [Re: HeinKill]  
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Just skimmed the book (PDF download) and the little kid inside me is disappointed at the lack of cool pictures that are present in this thread. It's something "else" for the eye to see and would sometimes give the reader an aid for his imagination.


- Ice
#4411367 - 03/18/18 09:11 PM Re: Free eBook novel now avail! AAR with a difference. Bering Strait UCAV campaign. Update 16.03 [Re: - Ice]  
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Thank you for evrything heinkill, it was a great journey.

The end, while expected, is really bittersweet to me, I had become attached to some characters whose end was cruel. I guess, bittersweet endings make for more memories than the usual happy ending, this was probably the point in writing that way.

About the plot, dave’s decision to come back without even trying doesn’t make sense to me, by doing this he knows he condemns his pal, then he feels guilty ? It’s the first time in the book I feel there’s a weakness. I obviously read only the last chapter in the release, and didn’t expect holme’s/devlin scene to be relocated there. I’ve read on this thread you planned to report this scene but well, now I feel I need to reread everything because such a relocation impacts many other scenes as written on the thread so I guess you have substantially rewritten the plot for the book.

You might have it reread again for proofcheck, I think I saw a few typos in the last chapter.

Also I second -ice opinion, a few pictures/drawings are needed.

Finally a question, are you 2 authors or is it that you have several noms de scène ?

#4411376 - 03/18/18 09:51 PM Re: Free eBook novel now avail! AAR with a difference. Bering Strait UCAV campaign. Update 16.03 [Re: rollnloop.]  
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Originally Posted by rollnloop.
Finally a question, are you 2 authors or is it that you have several noms de scène ?


Hi

Thx for the thoughts, I'll take them into account for sure! There will be plenty of proofing and editing between now and publication, that's for sure.
The point about Dave is a good one. I think I'll just have him hear Zubkhov's shots and double back, getting there just as he goes inside.

On Devlin, yes there was a slight rewrite, not worth going back for.

And I actually wrote a very different ending first. They stop the Russian nuke but as they are celebrating Bondy gets a gun and shoots Bunny then takes Rodriguez hostage. Ends with them having their ‘what was it all for’ conversation on the chopper. A little less predictable, a little more game of thrones. No Rodriguez/OHare sequel tho!


Pictures - I would have to license copyright. Costs about $20 per image, if you can find images that are suitable. I think I'd rather save that money for SimHQ/charity!

On the Tim Slee pen name - no, I like to keep my RL as a journalist and my fiction writing hobby separate so I write under my grandfathers' name, Tim (TJ) Slee. Sentimental, but simple!

H


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#4411389 - 03/18/18 10:23 PM Re: Free eBook novel now avail! AAR with a difference. Bering Strait UCAV campaign. Update 16.03 [Re: HeinKill]  
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Are there no free-to-use pics of the same kind as you've used?


- Ice
#4411396 - 03/18/18 11:01 PM Re: The white knuckle brink of apocalypse ending! AAR with a difference. Bering Strait UCAV campaign FULL NOVEL! [Re: HeinKill]  
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No such thing in this day and age, unless you find someone willing to create them. You're just inviting massive trouble if you try to add copyrighted material to your work "under the radar", particularly if it's done with commercial intent (and it doesn't matter that you do it as a fundraiser). So, I can fully understand (and support) that decision.

#4411398 - 03/18/18 11:10 PM Re: The white knuckle brink of apocalypse ending! AAR with a difference. Bering Strait UCAV campaign FULL NOVEL! [Re: HeinKill]  
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Getting back into critique mode, while I hated to see Perri go, it is a realistic outcome for this kind of a situation. Not sure if it was necessary to blow up Dave, though. He might just as well come back to find both dead in the water tower. In fact, poetic justice would be to see Zubkhov lug the radio set from the tower with his last strength, just to have it slip from his hands an shatter on the ground, or him slipping on the ladder on his own blood and fall to his death. Heck, pin a medal for bravery on Dave's chest, he'd probably hate himself for that for the rest of his life.

#4411411 - 03/19/18 01:13 AM Re: The white knuckle brink of apocalypse ending! AAR with a difference. Bering Strait UCAV campaign FULL NOVEL! [Re: HeinKill]  
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Of course, I'm not advocating using copyrighted material without permission but aren't there royalty-free items such as music? If so, then maybe something similar exists for images? Even if there were, might be a challenge to find something that would cover this topic, but might be worth a look.


- Ice
#4411415 - 03/19/18 02:13 AM Re: The white knuckle brink of apocalypse ending! AAR with a difference. Bering Strait UCAV campaign FULL NOVEL! [Re: HeinKill]  
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Oh.... He's giving me a grenade,

I liked it and it fit Dave.


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#4411732 - 03/20/18 05:08 PM Re: The white knuckle brink of apocalypse ending! AAR with a difference. Bering Strait UCAV campaign FULL NOVEL! [Re: HeinKill]  
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I really enjoyed reading this thread, so

- Any comments about plot? Things to be sure to keep, things to get rid of!
- Any characters you would not miss, or don't work?
- Other suggestions?

Plot was excellent, nothing to throw.
Characters work, I like the shades of grey in some, none is to get rid of either.
Not too sure about holmes analysis relocation, I thought it worked perfectly in this thread, but as long as I don't reread the whole book I can't say if anything gets broken.
Thanks for taking my dave comment into account,
having him hear the shots as an incent to come back as you propose works perfectly for me, get partly rid of the guilt and save him if you can/wish, I'm not found of GoT treatment for likable characters, and perri is a hard blow already. Now if Dave survives the radio must break and he must go somehow under the radar for a while, otherwise the opening scene doesn't work


I like the idea of a rodriguez/bunny sequel (throw devlin/holmes and maybe bondarev in, if you can), hope we'll get to read it here as well M. Slee cheers

Last edited by rollnloop.; 03/20/18 05:08 PM.
#4411841 - 03/21/18 07:36 AM Re: The white knuckle brink of apocalypse ending! AAR with a difference. Bering Strait UCAV campaign FULL NOVEL! [Re: rollnloop.]  
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Originally Posted by rollnloop.


I like the idea of a rodriguez/bunny sequel (throw devlin/holmes and maybe bondarev in, if you can), hope we'll get to read it here as well M. Slee cheers


Good feedback! This easily the longest novel I have written at 166,000 workds but I benchmarked with other techno thrillers and 150-180 is pretty typical. If I was to cut it back, the easiest way would be to pull out a whole plot line eg Devlin/Holmes. But for now I'll leave them in!

H


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#4414968 - 04/06/18 06:41 AM Re: FREE. Bering Strait UCAV campaign FULL NOVEL! [Re: HeinKill]  
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Thanks to all who have signed up and downloaded the first draft so far. Next steps:

- Final editing and proofread (ongoing)
- Kindle Scout campaign (pre release promotion)
- Advance Review Copies available
- Launch June!

Your help getting reviews on Amazon will be greatly appreciated! Stay tuned!

If you don't already have an Amazon account sign up here so you can join the Kindle Scout campaign and review the book later...

https://www.amazon.com/ap/register

https://kindlescout.amazon.com/




Last edited by HeinKill; 04/06/18 06:42 AM.

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#4414980 - 04/06/18 10:36 AM Re: FREE. Bering Strait UCAV campaign FULL NOVEL! [Re: HeinKill]  
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Hope you'll get many readers smile

#4417155 - 04/20/18 04:04 PM Re: FREE. Bering Strait UCAV campaign FULL NOVEL! [Re: rollnloop.]  
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Originally Posted by rollnloop.
Hope you'll get many readers smile


We can but try! Reader reviews are key so we need a few of those to kick things off once it is uploaded.

Have just sent it off to an editor for review. Will post the plot and character feedback here when I receive it.

Meantime am playing with cover designs and titles.

A?

[Linked Image]

B?

[Linked Image]

C?

Yeahnah keep trying


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#4417185 - 04/20/18 06:57 PM Re: FREE. Bering Strait UCAV campaign FULL NOVEL! [Re: HeinKill]  
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A.


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...the ultimate armor sim...
#4417186 - 04/20/18 07:18 PM Re: FREE. Bering Strait UCAV campaign FULL NOVEL! [Re: HeinKill]  
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A, B picture as a thumbnail in the 4th of cover introduction text.

Last edited by rollnloop.; 04/20/18 07:18 PM.
#4421346 - 05/18/18 07:34 AM Re: Bering Strait novel: getting ready for takeoff! [Re: HeinKill]  
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Wow, we broke 20,000 views? We might be onto something here wink

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Finalising layout of the print version of the novel now. It has evolved a little following professional editing.

I am afraid not all of the above characters made it through... but it is a stronger story.


Will soon kick off the Kindle Scout campaign so if you aren't already signed up w Amazon pls consider...

Cheers,

Fred

PS in the meantime you can read the full draft eBook here: www.BookHip.com/BBGKLT


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#4421379 - 05/18/18 01:24 PM Re: Bering Strait novel: getting ready for takeoff! [Re: HeinKill]  
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Originally Posted by HeinKill
It has evolved a little following professional editing.


How does it work ?

Your editor gives you his reader's feelings and you decide what you change or not, or you must abide ?

As a writer, when do you decide it's "ready for printing", is it a collegiate decision making ?

#4421452 - 05/18/18 07:11 PM Re: Bering Strait novel: getting ready for takeoff! [Re: rollnloop.]  
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Originally Posted by rollnloop.
Originally Posted by HeinKill
It has evolved a little following professional editing.


How does it work ?

Your editor gives you his reader's feelings and you decide what you change or not, or you must abide ?

As a writer, when do you decide it's "ready for printing", is it a collegiate decision making ?


No, the editor is paid by me, so I choose whether or not to follow her advice but I have used her before and trust her judgement so her feedback is along the lines of (for example) 'move this to later in the book / strip out that plotline it is just a distraction / this dialogue is boring / this sequence does not move the plot along' or (gulp) that character has to go, I take it seriously.

But trust me, I have taken the input of this group just as seriously!!

Cheers

H


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