Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die.
Marrying a woman becuase she looks hot is like buying a house for its paint.
The most effective way to remember your wife's Valentine's Day Card is to forget it once.
Husband to wife: ‘I hear you’ve been telling everyone that I’m an idiot.’ Wife: ‘Sorry, I didn’t know it was a secret.’
A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.” The friend says, “Why not?” The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases, it’s damned near impossible.
A policeman on a motorcycle pulls over a car. ‘What’s up?’ says the driver. ‘Your wife fell out the passenger door three miles back,’ says the policeman. ‘Thank goodness for that,’ says the driver. ‘I thought I’d gone deaf.’
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 121,483PanzerMeyer
Pro-Consul of Florida
PanzerMeyer
Pro-Consul of Florida
King Crimson - SimHQ's Top Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 121,483
Miami, FL USA
Valentine's? Yawn.
Great jokes by the way!
Last edited by PanzerMeyer; 02/14/1802:45 PM.
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
^ Agree on both. Valentine's Day is not something we bother with.
The rusty wire that holds the cork that keeps the anger in Gives way and suddenly it’s day again The sun is in the east Even though the day is done Two suns in the sunset, hmph Could be the human race is run
Bought my wife roses and took her out for a steak dinner. She bought me some clothes, including an F4U Corsair T shirt
"In the vast library of socialist books, there’s not a single volume on how to create wealth, only how to take and “redistribute” it.” - David Horowitz
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 121,483PanzerMeyer
Pro-Consul of Florida
PanzerMeyer
Pro-Consul of Florida
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 121,483
Miami, FL USA
At least Valentine’s isn’t simply an excuse to get drunk like St. Patrick’s Day and Cinco de Mayo.
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
^ Lol. Catholics know how to party! I'm sure New Orleans was a mess this morning.
The rusty wire that holds the cork that keeps the anger in Gives way and suddenly it’s day again The sun is in the east Even though the day is done Two suns in the sunset, hmph Could be the human race is run
I buy the wife flowers more often now so when the price went to around £10 for a bunch of roses, we both agreed that it was stupid and we wouldn't be getting any as she's enjoyed flowers for 1/10th the price before. No sense in paying through the nose just because it's a certain time of the year.
"Now, take my wife....please!" Henny Youngman must be looking down, smiling. How about this one: Wife: "I have the body of an eighteen year old girl!" Husband: "Then give it back to her! You're ruining it!"
"From our orbital vantage point, we observe an earth without borders, full of peace, beauty and magnificence, and we pray that humanity as a whole can imagine a borderless world as we see it, and strive to live as one in peace." Astronaut William C. McCool RIP, January 29, 2003 - Space Shuttle Columbia
I bought a bouquet of roses for my mother (wife doesn't like cut flowers) and bought a small (easy to carry) metal spray can of UV block & moisturizer combo from my Dermatologist Office for when wife takes her 3rd grade class out to the playground
Remember - Valentine's Day isn't about buying chocolates or flowers but of showing the ladies in your life that you're thinking about them. The best investment you could of made Feb 14th was getting her something because it is likely to "pay dividends"
"everything lives by a law, a central balance sustains all"
Remember - Valentine's Day isn't about buying chocolates or flowers but of showing the ladies in your life that you're thinking about them. The best investment you could of made Feb 14th was getting her something because it is likely to "pay dividends"
You don't need Hallmark/Hersheys Day to do this though, right? Nothing wrong if you celebrate Valentine's Day or not IMO, as long as you're both on the same page about it...much like with sex, I suppose. Hmm... "same page", one for the "Idioms" thread.
Man, I'm hitting so many grand slams lately that even if we cared about Valentine's Day and I blew it off, I'd still get a pass! Not so with Wedding Anniversaries, a unique date to a couple that's not on anyone else's calendar.
Not that I don't look back and cherish the time *before* we had Anniversaries (pics below: 1986...and the little tune still plays), but to me Valentine's Day is like commercialized scheduled affection. I dunno, just feels weird to me, and I can be one of the sappiest hopeless romantics you'll ever come across.
The rusty wire that holds the cork that keeps the anger in Gives way and suddenly it’s day again The sun is in the east Even though the day is done Two suns in the sunset, hmph Could be the human race is run
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 121,483PanzerMeyer
Pro-Consul of Florida
PanzerMeyer
Pro-Consul of Florida
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 121,483
Miami, FL USA
Originally Posted by MarkG
but to me Valentine's Day is like commercialized scheduled affection. .
That's because it is!! I read somewhere that roughly about 40% of the flowers sold per year are for Valentine's Day. It's also a huge boon to restaurants (especially if Valentine's falls on the weekend).
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 121,483PanzerMeyer
Pro-Consul of Florida
PanzerMeyer
Pro-Consul of Florida
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 121,483
Miami, FL USA
Originally Posted by Bill_Grant
The high end restaurants were packed as I drove home last night.
I made Prime Rib for Two. Delicious.
Somehow I pictured you as a vegan Bill.
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
The high end restaurants were packed as I drove home last night.
That's why I took the wife out Tuesday night. Call it "Valentines Eve"
"In the vast library of socialist books, there’s not a single volume on how to create wealth, only how to take and “redistribute” it.” - David Horowitz