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#4400733 - 01/18/18 02:42 PM Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy  
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 5,864
Bill_Grant Offline
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Bill_Grant  Offline
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Dallas, TX
A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”


~Bill

In my defense, I was left unsupervised...
Inline advert (2nd and 3rd post)

#4400743 - 01/18/18 03:12 PM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
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rwatson Offline
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another winner Bill


Russ
Semper Fi
#4400749 - 01/18/18 03:31 PM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
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WharfRat Offline
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WharfRat  Offline
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temporally displaced
Good 1

#4400778 - 01/18/18 06:06 PM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
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Kodiak Offline
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Kodiak  Offline
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Over the hills and far away.
LMOA biggrin


I Want To Believe
#4400807 - 01/18/18 09:00 PM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
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- Ice Offline
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- Ice  Offline
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Philippines / North East UK
Good one!


- Ice
#4400846 - 01/19/18 01:49 AM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
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Crane Hunter Offline
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Crane Hunter  Offline
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A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.

'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'


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After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding Cake.'

#4400851 - 01/19/18 02:42 AM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
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Clydewinder Offline
Mach 2 Infrared Orangutan
Clydewinder  Offline
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New Berlin, WI United States
rofl


Robots are stealing my luggage.
#4400889 - 01/19/18 12:02 PM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 121,383
PanzerMeyer Online centaurian
Pro-Consul of Florida
PanzerMeyer  Online Centaurian
Pro-Consul of Florida
King Crimson - SimHQ's Top Poster

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 121,383
Miami, FL USA
My wife is a pharmacist so she got a good laugh out of that joke Bill!


“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
#4400992 - 01/19/18 10:11 PM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
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coasty Offline
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coasty  Offline
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wicked!


Have you seen the Arrow? WWW
#4401054 - 01/20/18 03:01 PM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
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- Ice Offline
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- Ice  Offline
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Wedding cake!!


- Ice
#4401339 - 01/22/18 08:23 AM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,876
Immermann Offline
SimHQ's resident fire enthusiast.
Immermann  Offline
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Member

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Lule/Norrbotten/Sweden
Hm, a former friend tried to kill his ex with cyanide, Uragan ( Czech word for hurricane or cyclone... B...).
Anyway, the #%&*$# failed three times and offed himself in the holding cell waiting for transport to prison.

We had ended our friendship some 10 years earlier when we found out he'd been beating and threatening his girlfriend at the time.

Good riddance!

Last edited by Immermann; 01/22/18 08:24 AM.

"When I saw The Matrix at a local theatre in Slovenia, I had the unique opportunity of sitting close to the ideal spectator of the film - namely, to an idiot." - Slavoj Zizek
#4402362 - 01/29/18 08:09 AM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,372
Skater Offline
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Skater  Offline
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Posts: 4,372
NYC
Very funny Bill. LOL

-Skater


"As Iron Sharpens Iron, so does a friend sharpen a friend." Proverbs 27:17
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28
Never, ever, underestimate the ability of people to discount Occam's Razor. - Dart
"I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub." - Grover Norquist
#4402376 - 01/29/18 11:58 AM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
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oldgrognard Offline
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Lifer

Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 24,029
USA
Nice to hear from you Skater.


Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

Someday your life will flash in front of your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.
#4404141 - 02/08/18 03:18 AM Re: Joke: The lady at the Pharmacy [Re: Bill_Grant]  
Joined: Feb 2003
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Skater Offline
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Skater  Offline
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NYC
Thanks Grog....

-Skater


"As Iron Sharpens Iron, so does a friend sharpen a friend." Proverbs 27:17
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28
Never, ever, underestimate the ability of people to discount Occam's Razor. - Dart
"I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub." - Grover Norquist

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