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#4395366 - 12/17/17 10:58 PM How to Save Star Wars Episode IX in 10 Easy Steps  
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 22,095
citizen guod Offline
Lifer
citizen guod  Offline
Lifer

Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 22,095
Some ideas tongue-in-cheek, some not. smile

Caution. Spoilers for The Last Jedi below.



1) In the first 10 minutes of the movie, the remaining Resistance is wiped-out including Leia, Rose, and Admiral Ackbar. Oh wait, they unceremoniously killed off *that* character who has been is several Star Wars Episodes and is credited with one of the classic lines of the series. So, meh!

2) Only remaining Resistance fighters are (guess who) Poe, Rey, Finn, and Chewy.

3) Chewy and Finn fly the Millennium Falcon on a suicide mission of some critical importance.

4) While in flight, Chewy is mortally wounded (disregarding his demise in the book, Vector Prime). Finn continues onward with renewed tenacity.

5) Feeling the loss of Rose, Finn completes the mission by flying the Millennium Falcon into whatever was the objective (just not *another* Death Star please!). This cements his bravery, reaffirms a fitting end to the Falcon, and closes the book on his character.

6) Luke haunts Kylo Ren to the point he goes suicidal midway through the movie by jumping off the same bridge work where he skewered Han.

7) Immediately Rey feels Kylo Ren's death through the force, and renews her anger for Luke killing poor Ben Solo.

8) She turns to the dark side and becomes the new villain leader believing all the Resistance has done was to cause needless upheaval and lose good people.... ehhh, characters.... ehhh, creatures.

9) Poe learns of Rey's switch over and races to her side. After seemingly regaining her senses in deep conversation with Poe, she skewers him ala Kylo did to daddy.

10) Scene cuts to the "broom" kid from the closing scene of TLJ. He is now older, wears the Resistance emblem around his neck, is a leader, and is speaking in front of a few hundred followers. Bring up the fanfare from John Williams. Fade to credits, then queue Episode X to be released in 2022.



Wisdom is knowing what's enough
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#4395448 - 12/18/17 04:40 PM Re: How to Save Star Wars Episode IX in 10 Easy Steps [Re: citizen guod]  
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 483
Aullido Offline
Member
Aullido  Offline
Member

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 483
SW is a franchise for children.

#4395864 - 12/20/17 02:46 PM Re: How to Save Star Wars Episode IX in 10 Easy Steps [Re: Aullido]  
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,588
462cid Offline
Senior Member
462cid  Offline
Senior Member

Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,588
USA
Originally Posted by Aullido
SW is a franchise for children.



It's ludicrous to suggest that a pastime people here might enjoy is childlike. This is a video game forum. I'm sorry but I can't agree with looking down the nose at people because they enjoy escapist fantasy while you do not care for that particular brand of escapist fantasy.


What kind of car is that? What does it matter? When I drive it, I'm Steve McQueen
#4395870 - 12/20/17 03:25 PM Re: How to Save Star Wars Episode IX in 10 Easy Steps [Re: Aullido]  
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 9,542
Mr_Blastman Online content
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Mr_Blastman  Online Content
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 9,542
Atlanta, GA
Originally Posted by Aullido
SW is a franchise for children.


Say what?

Han shot Greedo first. Murder isn't for children. Not that Greedo didn't deserve it. Would you want to be encased in a block of carbon, only to be thawed out and thrown to the Sarlac? I wouldn't. Nor did Han's blaster. So it uh, malfunctioned, yeah. That's it.

Not. Han was a stud. He wasted the slimy scumbag to save his own skin, and did what he had to do. Not exactly a kid topic.

Star Wars was distorted when Jar Jar showed up.

#4395953 - 12/20/17 11:21 PM Re: How to Save Star Wars Episode IX in 10 Easy Steps [Re: citizen guod]  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 13,213
NH2112 Offline
Veteran
NH2112  Offline
Veteran

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 13,213
Jackman, ME
You forgot the cute little teddy bear groaning in agony before dying and his friend’s grief.


Phil

“The biggest problem people have is they don’t think they’re supposed to have problems.” - Hayes Barnard

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