Thanks for the sympathy and advice. The hardest part of this is trying to understand why he gave up on himself. He's a totally different person since about Easter. He went from a jock, obsessed with Lacrosse, to hanging with the Loser druggies. He told my wife to just give up on him. That is not gonna happen.
He had a concussion from Rugby right before the summer. We think that maybe the concussion combined with the car accident trauma might be a factor.
Isn't depression something caused by concussions? Add that on top of being a teenager in the first place and you may have at least a contributing factor.
IMO, teenagers also get lazy and prefer to tell people "they aren't smart enough to keep up with the smart kids" or "it's a waste of time" as a means of getting out of responsibilities like school etc.
My son gives me that one, thinking it gets him out of working hard at school. I keep telling him if he isn't as smart then he's got to make up for it by working harder. Calling yourself dumb doesn't get you off the hook.
Especially when you know it isn't true and it's just an excuse.
I also told him going into high school, and many times since, that it's not the bad kids that will get him in trouble and talk him into doing stupid things. It'll be his friends. You've got to be strong enough to say no to those people, which is not an easy thing to do.
They will all make mistakes, some worse than others and often drag friends down with them. With my son, it was shop lifting when he was 15. I found out when checking his texts. I took him right to the store and had him explain to the manager and fork over money to pay for what he took.
IMO, you've got to have them suffer consequences from outside, not just grounding etc. Prove that the world doesn't accept that crap either, you can't just blame Dad.
