Yesterday I was at my local Walmart store buying a large bag of dog food for my pet and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had--a horse? Anyway, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog food Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because even though I dropped about 30 lbs. the last I tried it, eventually I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with dog food nuggets and then simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete and it worked so well that I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now following the conversation.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, that I had stepped off the curb to sniff a Cocker Spaniel's butt when a car hit me.
The guy behind her was laughing so hard, I though he was going to have a stroke.
I'm now banned from that particular Walmart.