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#4180662 - 10/12/15 06:05 PM Buying dog food (joke)  
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,802
Forward Observer Offline
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Forward Observer  Offline
Senior Member

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,802
Central Arkansas,US of A
Yesterday I was at my local Walmart store buying a large bag of dog food for my pet and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had--a horse? Anyway, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog food Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because even though I dropped about 30 lbs. the last I tried it, eventually I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with dog food nuggets and then simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete and it worked so well that I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now following the conversation.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, that I had stepped off the curb to sniff a Cocker Spaniel's butt when a car hit me.

The guy behind her was laughing so hard, I though he was going to have a stroke.

I'm now banned from that particular Walmart. biggrin


Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl.
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#4180664 - 10/12/15 06:06 PM Re: Buying dog food [Re: Forward Observer]  
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 8,700
Peally Offline
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Peally  Offline
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Posts: 8,700
Wisconsin, USA
LOL


Scully: Victim died of multiple stab wounds.
Mulder: *throws her a file* Ever heard of the knife alien?
#4180827 - 10/13/15 12:48 AM Re: Buying dog food [Re: Forward Observer]  
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 4,585
coasty Offline
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coasty  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 4,585
Asheville, NC, USA
I feel a stroke coming on too!


Have you seen the Arrow? WWW
#4180833 - 10/13/15 01:14 AM Re: Buying dog food [Re: Forward Observer]  
Joined: Dec 2014
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CG2015 Offline
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CG2015  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 3,552
I hate people that asks stupid questions like that.

rolleyes

Like the folks that see a pregnant woman and ask her if she is having a baby!

banghead

#4181237 - 10/13/15 08:50 PM Re: Buying dog food [Re: Forward Observer]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,556
Li'lJugs Offline
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Li'lJugs  Offline
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Posts: 8,556
St. Cloud MN USA
Would love to buy you a beer sometime, FO. My kind of humor, LOL!


Hi, I'm Larry and this my brother Dayrle, and this is my other brother Dayrle.

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