Hey all - I want to fire a white or red Very light as a sign of life here.
Some of you may have been wondering where I have been for so long, and I decided not to make a secret of it: I was, and still am (to some extent) suffering of a depression since April. It got so bad in June, that I tried to get into a clinic for professional treatment, but it took me 3 very dark weeks on a waiting-list, before I could move in there; and so it got all quite long in time.
I am still in treatment, but can be home over the weekends, and I will soon get discharged. It will not be fully cured by then - this may never happen, or take much more time at least - but hopefully well enough for me to return to duties.
I missed you all and this fine mess sorely, but I wasn't in the right condition to take part only half-heartedly and dull-mooded.
I hope I'll be back soon!
Vice-President of the BOC (Barmy OFFers Club) Member of the 'Albatros Aviators Club' - "We know how to die with Style!"
Hey all - I want to fire a white or red Very light as a sign of life here.
Hopefully we can take this post/very light as a sign that you're on your way back. Sorry to hear that you've been feeling down. I know that you've alluded to it in the past I kept hoping that it would be a passing thing. Really sorry to hear that it got its claws into you. And here's hoping that hanging out here with old friends will help to lift your spirits.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
It's really wonderful to hear from you and to know that you are past the worst of this. Was it Mannock who referred to depression as his "black dog"? You have been sorely missed and we will look forward to a binge on your return.
We all are with you and look forward to your recovery. Confronting it head on as you did was the right thing to do. You had the presence of mmind to seek help. That bodes well for you. Keep up the good fight and drop us a line when ever you feel up to it. You are a valued friend of all of us here. Take care and be well good friend!
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Thank you, Duke, Hauksbee, Raine, Robert, Hasse and Gaw - I'm quite touched by all your kind words.
Originally Posted By: Raine
Was it Mannock who referred to depression as his "black dog"?
I still need to read about Mannock. A "black dog" is an understatement he must have made to not look too weak - in the worst period it feels more like Jona must have felt inside the whale (with it's mouth shut of course). No direction home, so to say.
Vice-President of the BOC (Barmy OFFers Club) Member of the 'Albatros Aviators Club' - "We know how to die with Style!"
Joined: May 2012 Posts: 4,879RAF_Louvert
BOC President; Pilot Extraordinaire; Humble Man
RAF_Louvert
BOC President; Pilot Extraordinaire; Humble Man
Senior Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,879
L'Etoile du Nord
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Olham, very glad to see you back in camp, even if it is only for a visit as per doctor's orders. We are all here for you so don't hesitate to bend an ear if you need to. As Hasse noted, it's good you let folks know what's been going on. It will show you just how much support you have.
Take care my freund.
.
Three RFC Brass Hats were strolling down a street in London. Two walked into a bar, the third one ducked. _________________________________________________________________________
Former Cold War Warrior, USAF Security Service 1974-1978, E-4, Morse Systems Intercept, England, Europe, and points above. "pippy-pahpah-pippy pah-pip-pah"
Thank you, Lou - and believe me, I treasure this place, which must be one of the most gentlemanly (can one say that?) and civilised places amongst all forums/fora, and I appreciate your and all the other friendships here VERY much.
Vice-President of the BOC (Barmy OFFers Club) Member of the 'Albatros Aviators Club' - "We know how to die with Style!"
I'm no Expert, but a few Spins with your favorite Alb might help a little. Trying, not to be turned into a Pile of Confetti while being pursued by an SE5a sure helps to get rid of unpleasant Thoughts...
Wer die Dicta Olham geschrieben hat, kriegt auch das hin
I wish you the best Olham,I know what you are talking about and I support your strenght even from all this distance,an uncle of mine got through that and it was a very steep road to climb,but you must hold on to yourself,inside your mind it's the best medicine to the exit light!! Remember this! Best wishes from the sunnyside. P.S. Be strong,you are the best cure for yourself!
Olham, It is great to hear from you! Depression is a tough one and I hope you are back in business soon. My Father suffered from depression and I can't say I have not had a bout or two myself. Your not alone Brother. Please keep that in mind. Mark
Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from either end. BOC Member since....I can't remember!
Sorry to hear that Olham. I just checked your posts yesterday to see if I'd missed that you were off to north Germany again. Hope you find your direction home soon.
I'm glad you decided to go public with this; the masses were getting restless here.
You did a good job as public relations spokesperson.
Olham, it's great to hear from you. Life has it's highs and lows, I hope you highs come back and your lows don't dip down so deep for so long a stretch.
You did a good job as public relations spokesperson.
Thanks! I tried my best to convince everybody that Olham isn't dead or something, just preoccupied with important real life matters. Obviously I couldn't say anything more specific - he had to do it himself when he felt like he was ready for it. And now he is, which I think is great.
"Upon my word I've had as much excitement on a car as in the air, especially since the R.F.C. have had women drivers."
James McCudden, Five Years in the Royal Flying Corps
Thank you, Wayfarer - I'll find it, sooner or later - I'm fighting.
Thank you, MudWasp - I guess many people have much harder times; I'll get there.
Thank you, Rick.
Originally Posted By: Hasse
Originally Posted By: MudWasp
You did a good job as public relations spokesperson.
Thanks! I tried my best to convince everybody that Olham isn't dead or something, just preoccupied with important real life matters. Obviously I couldn't say anything more specific - he had to do it himself when he felt like he was ready for it. And now he is, which I think is great.
Thanks for being so loyal, Hasse. I have been thinking, if I should or should not tell the details. But since I met so many other people with that same darkness on their souls in that clinic (and that is only one of many such places), I found it no shame, and I guess it should be better known and understood - then the depressed would not feel so afraid and isolated.
Vice-President of the BOC (Barmy OFFers Club) Member of the 'Albatros Aviators Club' - "We know how to die with Style!"
Hi Olham, Good news - bad news. Good news - you're hopefully on the mend
Bad news - you had to go through it in the first place
Hang in there and believe in yourself. It's souls like yourself that we all care for and support. We all need you up and running - Come to think about it, so does WOFF
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Hang in there and believe in yourself. It's souls like yourself that we all care for and support.
Yes, I am quite overwhelmed by all the greetings and best wishes. It will still take some time to recover; I still don't even do any flying yet. Hopefully soon. Thank you, Sandbagger!
Vice-President of the BOC (Barmy OFFers Club) Member of the 'Albatros Aviators Club' - "We know how to die with Style!"
Olham, you are not alone in this fight! This old gezzer has had several brief but very dark days where hope was a brief glimmer at best. Friends who were there all the time the best medicine. Long walks with some friends talking about everything with lots of stories of all sorts were helpfull.
You are just to good of a person to not win this battle!
CW3SF
Origin made- silverstone case,ASUS Max VI Extreme , CPU intel Core i7 4770k, cooling asotex 570LC, NVIDA 3G GTX 780 Ti , Mem 16GB Kingston Hyper X DDR3 ,game drive 120GB INTEL X25 SS, OS drive 1TB, Win 7 home Prem.Logitech G105 key board,BenQ XL2430 Gaming Monitor. All pilots owe me a beer. Retired USAF Rescue/Survival, Special Forces, and MI (after I got old and grey).
I am so sorry to hear of your problem,Olham. You have been sorely missed on the WOFF pages where your sage advice,always delivered in a gentlemanly manner,has helped so many OFF and WOFF beginners,myself included on so many occasions.The place is not the same without you.Please accept my sincere best wishes for a complete and speedy recovery.
I don't know if it will help you, but I also had a long depression in the 90s following a professional burnout, until I had an accident due to lack of sleep and luckily survived. I had to stay a month in a specialized clinic after being physically repaired in hospital. When I left, the shrink told me he would never see me again. He was right !
Just to say you can get out of it. Since then I consider I'm living "bonus years" and enjoying every hour.
Last edited by corsaire31; 08/30/1505:11 PM.
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Boy has it been a while since I've written to you, my friend. It seems, sometimes, that circumstances conspire to bring people back into each others orbits. Last week, my ancient gaming rig - the one I used to fly OFF and post on the boards with years ago - finally bit the dust, beyond repair. I'm still in school, but as luck would have it, I'm getting a small loan from some friends and family to get a new computer and I started looking at the WOFF boards for the first time in over a year, then found this.
I'm terribly sorry for the burden and strain you have been under. I can't really say anything that the others haven't already expressed with greater eloquence, but, I'm also glad you had the presence of mind to get some help and, like all of us here, I'm pulling for you too. Hang in there, my friend!
Hey, thanks for posting this and bringing it to our attention. It's a tough thing that many of us have dealt with, myself included. Spent plenty of time living life looking out through the bottom of the bottle. It's hard, and something hard to over-come, but you can.
We're here, we're always here, and we'll always be here. This community was never built on anything less than friendship, thoughtfulness and brotherhood.
Sometimes just getting involved in something that returns good feelings, and removes the bad cures a lot of things. Volunteer, Tudor, mentor, help the elderly, feed the veterans.. etc... it's what makes life worth living.
Talk to us, we'll listen.
All the best my brother and hang in there for the long-haul!
James 'OvS'
Last edited by OvStachel; 08/31/1512:46 AM.
The Black Baron of Boistrancourt returns!!
I'd rather die fighting, than live for nothing. - Gen. G.S. Patton
Olham, got some issues with my own brain, so I have a little idea of what it's taken for you to get where you are now; you're definitely on the right path, brother, and whether the rest will take a few days, weeks, months, or years, you're moving in the right direction. See you in the skies when you're ready.
Olham, I share the others' sympathies - and as well, I am glad you took, and continue to take, the steps you need to beat the beast. I must admit that it it comes as a bit of a surprise - someone as bright, as helpful, as cheerful, as you always are around here, a truly good & kind soul (and Barmy to boot!), and yet tormented by something not of your own making.
Years back, you'd hardly made acquaintance with me on the old CA board and you offered to make a pilot avatar for me from my photo and a suitable WWI pilot - that was touching, and shows what a good heart you have. It took me a long time to find a decent photo of me as a young man - my family broke up during that time and I have very few photos from then - but I still want to thank you for the offer.
I ended up in treatment due to problems of my own making; but still, when my life was spiraling out of control, one of the best things I ever did was to seek treatment.
Take care, come 'round when you can, & I'll keep you in my prayers.
Box: Win7 Pro 64 bit / I72600K @4.1 GHz / EVGA GTX1080Ti/ 16GB RAM / Corsair 240 GB SSD / WD 600 GB Velociraptor / 1050W Power FS Stuff: Saitek X52 Pro Stick/Throttle & Combat Rudder Pedals, TrackIR 5 Sims: FSX Gold, REX 2.0 OD, UTX-NA, FSGenesis 10m mesh/ CFS3 ETO 1.40/Wings Over Flanders Fields BH&H2 (more gorgeous than ever!) Proud BOC inductee 4/30/12!
Assumed you'd gone to teach the Turks to fly the Albatros, old chap. But 'twas depression rather than the Dardanelles, eh?
As Lou says, we're here... if you need us.
Oh that I was back in the dear old PBI. With no more Triplanes on me tail, nor tracer tracing by. And no more flames and clickerty-clack and no more blooming sky, And only a couple of feet to fall whenever I want to die.
Thanks, Olham, you're quite the good-hearted one. Take care of yourself, first, though & I'll see what I can find. BTW, those are stunningly beautiful screenshots that you showed Capt Sopwith on the other thread.
Best,
Tom
Box: Win7 Pro 64 bit / I72600K @4.1 GHz / EVGA GTX1080Ti/ 16GB RAM / Corsair 240 GB SSD / WD 600 GB Velociraptor / 1050W Power FS Stuff: Saitek X52 Pro Stick/Throttle & Combat Rudder Pedals, TrackIR 5 Sims: FSX Gold, REX 2.0 OD, UTX-NA, FSGenesis 10m mesh/ CFS3 ETO 1.40/Wings Over Flanders Fields BH&H2 (more gorgeous than ever!) Proud BOC inductee 4/30/12!
Times yes, but believe it or not, in a depression you often don't even feel capable for that - it feels like a real strain of a real war pilot, his fears included. I give it time, and when I feel like, I'll try it.
Vice-President of the BOC (Barmy OFFers Club) Member of the 'Albatros Aviators Club' - "We know how to die with Style!"
That depression fog probably didn't amass all in one day, so it probably takes some time to lift. Don't get discouraged if days with little or no change run a streak.