I was watching the local news this morning reporting on storm-related strong winds last night. They said there were about 200 families still without electricity. With very high temperatures expected today the reporter said that "if you're one of the people without power (whose air conditioning obviously won't work), get out to a theater or shopping center where you can stay cool". Good advice, except for one problem; you won't hear it if your power is out BECAUSE YOUR TV WON'T WORK EITHER!!!

Lol it used to be the same when internet companies would post their service status on the web. If you have an issue not being able to connect to the internet please check our website. Of course these days you can use your phone to check too so they get away with that one now

I once saw a news report regarding a large accident in which they said "most of the people killed were men, women, and children." I've also seen reports of "electrocuted to death" and "drowned to death." I also love the one where a crew films a plane crashing, then they asked witnesses what they saw. My answer? "Same thing as you, jackass."

This sums up American "news" reporting. This regards a "severe flood." Money shot at 18 seconds:

LOL!!! She must have felt so ridiculous.

No wonder they didn't make her wear a life jacket. If she had rolled over she could just stand up!

Many of the warning stickers on equipment makes me scratch my head.

Best warning I've seen is on a roll over protection structure on the Town of Harmony's small pavement flattening roller. They were doing some patching on my road and the operator rolled up in my driveway looking to fill his water reservoir. I hooked him up with the outside hose and saw "BANG HEAD HERE" written on the ROPS on both sides of a big red arrow facing downward.

Took a few minutes to fill his tank, we yapped and had a coffee. Dang if he didn't bang his head climbing back up on the Roller machine. He had painted it on there too!


He flattened out the center of my gravel drive real nice and gave me a laugh too.

I've seen a new pre-fab cabinet with "This side to wall" written on the back.

I read somewhere {before the internet} that it was illegal to commit suicide. I remember asking how you arrest a corpse.

Chinese stuff often comes with rather strange instructions. I bought a couple of little usb speakers for my laptop which came with the instructions: "Not to be used for the other purpose which is not in the manual".

Firstly there was no manual anyway. After vainly trying to figure out what the OTHER purpose was I reckoned that what was meant was "Not to be used for any other purpose than that in the (non-existent) manual".

Chinese does not have indefinite or definite articles which possibly caused this problem.

A local supermarket has a sign outside that says "No dogs allowed except guide dogs". Obviously guide dogs for the blind can read!

This is common sense...