#4125903 - 05/28/15 08:03 AM
Easy instructions for anyone here who owns a cat!
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Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 3,552
CG2015
Senior Member
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Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 3,552
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Even a 3 year old can do this!
How To Give A Cat A Pill
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand... As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later...
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little #%&*$#'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
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#4126064 - 05/28/15 03:32 PM
Re: Easy instructions for anyone here who owns a cat!
[Re: CG2015]
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 9,248
U-96
%!#Stack Overflow#!%
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%!#Stack Overflow#!%
Hotshot
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 9,248
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Even with a pill popper it's next to impossible to dose either of my cats. I always ask the vet to do it when I take them for their checkup as for some reason they just freeze and comply. They are also far too canny to take pills hidden in food and treats. Apparently a cat's sense of smell is much more sophisticated that a dog. It's just that you can't train a cat to do much with it (except perhaps detect veterinary medicine in cat food) Maybe a suppository would work...
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#4126121 - 05/28/15 06:30 PM
Re: Easy instructions for anyone here who owns a cat!
[Re: CG2015]
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 501
Aero
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 501
Milwaukee, USA
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Brilliant post.
I have to give my cat a pill twice a day. She would hide it under her tongue and then spit it out after I left. The actual trick, though, in case someone is interested is to look up whatever drug it is that you have to give your cat and see if it is water soluble. If it is, then just dissolve the pill in a teaspoon of water, stir it up, suck it up with a dropper, put the end of the dropper in your cat's cheek and give it a gentle squirt. The cat will swallow it automatically. It's relatively easy.
If it's not water soluble, then things aren't so easy, but a compounding pharmacy can probably prepare a liquid solution for you (and it's worth the extra $20 this costs without a doubt).
Last edited by Aero; 05/28/15 06:32 PM.
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#4126140 - 05/28/15 07:45 PM
Re: Easy instructions for anyone here who owns a cat!
[Re: Aero]
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5,111
Wrecking Crew
Smooth Operator
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Smooth Operator
Hotshot
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5,111
Colorado
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If it's not water soluble, then things aren't so easy, but a compounding pharmacy can probably prepare a liquid solution for you (and it's worth the extra $20 this costs without a doubt). We've had cat drugs compounded into a cream that can be dabbed onto the inside of an ear flap. Very easy on everyone. WC
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#4126181 - 05/28/15 09:34 PM
Re: Easy instructions for anyone here who owns a cat!
[Re: CG2015]
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 2,704
Billzilla
Senior Member
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Senior Member
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 2,704
Brisbane, QLD, Australia
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A blast from the past - I remember reading that nearly twenty years ago, when I first got on the internet.
Out of ammo Out of energy Out of ideas Down to harsh language
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#4126211 - 05/28/15 11:04 PM
Re: Easy instructions for anyone here who owns a cat!
[Re: CG2015]
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 24,712
Dart
Measured in Llamathrusts
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Measured in Llamathrusts
Lifer
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 24,712
Alabaster, AL USA
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The opinions of this poster are largely based on facts and portray a possible version of the actual events. More dumb stuff at http://www.darts-page.comFrom Laser: "The forum is the place where combat (real time) flight simulator fans come to play turn based strategy combat."
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#4126720 - 05/30/15 06:36 AM
Re: Easy instructions for anyone here who owns a cat!
[Re: Wrecking Crew]
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 501
Aero
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 501
Milwaukee, USA
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If it's not water soluble, then things aren't so easy, but a compounding pharmacy can probably prepare a liquid solution for you (and it's worth the extra $20 this costs without a doubt). We've had cat drugs compounded into a cream that can be dabbed onto the inside of an ear flap. Very easy on everyone. WC I actually tried the same thing with the dermal cream, which seemed like a miracle, but after a couple weeks of this, I took her in for another blood test and they found no detectable amount of the drug (or its metabolites or whatever) in her system. The vet said he was going to check into it with the compounding pharmacy and I got my money back for the prescription, but I never did follow up to see what the deal was. Out of curiosity, did they increase the dose for the cream compared to the pills? It seems to me the bioavalability of trans-dermal administration would be lower than the oral route, and you'd increase the dose, but it remained the same. It's methiamazole she takes for a thyroid condition (probably the result of eating Science Diet for years, which turns out was nasty stuff).
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Exodus
by RedOneAlpha. 04/18/24 05:46 PM
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