I've been thinking and thinking on how to make it work, but all my ideas end up too complicated, impractical or simply wrong. I don't want to cook 10 pizzas until I get it right (although I wouldn't mind having to eat the discarded ones ), so... any ideas?
Some I had:
a) Have a mold for the cheese. Too complicated/expensive to have it made (Would have to be made of metal I guess). b) "Paint" with tomato sauce over the cheese. "Anti-culinary" and also would require some serious skill / mold. c) Cut the cheese into shape and don't let it melt too much. Not a proper pizza. d) Carve the shape in the dough, so then the mozzarella will have some barrier to flood and stop there. Not sure it will work.
So far I'm leaning towards c)... but I still don't like it. Can anyone suggest something else?
When you're feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world, there's someone pushing a door that says "pull".
Get a frozen pizza, a print out of the design and a thumbtack. Put frozen pizza in oven, when done, remove, place picture on pizza, use thumbtack to hold in place, viola mission accomplished.
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Use cheese slices, not grated cheese. Provolone usually comes in circle slices, use that. Lay it out, cut the slices into the other shapes you need to piece it together. You can print that out, cut out the shape and make a pattern to lay on the slices if you need to for the harder parts like the head.
Just lay the unheated shredded mozzarella out in the shape taking care to align the cheese grain to the pattern. Easy as that. Its not going to expand much or explode. 2x so if its that sudo cheap cheese you find in the big bags. That stuff is less cheese than oil and additives.
If you try and melt the cheese the and then cut the pattern its going to turn into a giant mess. Painting the pattern in sauce could be done, but would probably be a royal pain.
But it does look like that one was layed out and cut. Probably why it looks man handled to me.
Use cheese slices, not grated cheese. Provolone usually comes in circle slices, use that. Lay it out, cut the slices into the other shapes you need to piece it together. You can print that out, cut out the shape and make a pattern to lay on the slices if you need to for the harder parts like the head.
Better idea....
The slices of provolone would do the trick...
#4124460 - 05/25/1502:55 AMRe: Ideas from the culinary inclined fellas
[Re: vonBaur]
Yeah, the one I normally use comes in thin slices. It's also quite "elastic" so to speak, so I'm thinking it won't spread too much if I don't let it melt too much...
Originally Posted By: vonBaur
I have a suggestion. And a question.
Suggestion: stop betting.
Question: what would you have won?
I would have won the same thing. The pleasure of seeing my friend suffer trying to cook the darn thing.
I was complaining about the cost of my MAME cabinet and that I would have to go buy games on Steam or GOG because that's the right thing to do since I'm playing a dubious version on the arcade. And then shipping was nuts, and it didn't have a pause button so I had to add that and the freaking USB controller for that was expensive as well... and... but I was going to be able to play Mortal Kombat on it like when I was 14, but without having to worry about coins or my mom.
So after all the whining my friend and co-worker said stop whining, you will get the biggest pay rise above all of us next month. I said no, it's probably going to be some jackass. Wanna bet? So we bet he would get more than me, and he bet I was going to get more than him.
I lost... and won at the same time.
When you're feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world, there's someone pushing a door that says "pull".
Reminds me of a sales contest at my work several years ago. Grand Prize was a Harley. The deal was that you got one entry for each sale you made, then at the end of the period they'd put all the entries in and draw a winner. This one guy was a sales wiz, always huge numbers, so everybody figured that with all his entries he was a shoe-in. He made $100 side-bets with a couple people that he wouldn't. I asked him why and he said pretty much the same thing, "I'm either going to win a couple hundred bucks or a Harley."
He won the bets. The Harley went to a guy who only had a few sales. And didn't ride, or want to.
EDIT: Well, my idea c) was correct apparently. The cooking paper part I didn't think about, I was thinking on just regular paper directly out of the printer... which I guess/hope will work just fine.
Last edited by WileECoyote; 05/25/1505:56 AM.
When you're feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world, there's someone pushing a door that says "pull".
I haven't looked at the vid. 4mm slices of pizza mozzarella - I buy it in 2.5kg blocks, so two slices on the long axis will get your size. Lay the slices on baking parchment, on a flat tray. Have a full size print of the shape on regular paper to lay over top of the cheese, pre-cut with the shape (with a scalpel/box cutter etc), and carve the shape through the cheese with a blunt knife (so as not to pierce the parchment), then obviously extract the unwanted sections of the cheese. Chill the cheese & parchment in the freezer till almost frozen, then it can be transferred in one step to the top of the pizza without stretching out of shape (it will slide from the parchment without sticking). The pizza should be mostly cooked already, so you just have to warm it enough to melt the cheese and it will be done.
Yeah, the one I normally use comes in thin slices. It's also quite "elastic" so to speak, so I'm thinking it won't spread too much if I don't let it melt too much...
Originally Posted By: vonBaur
I have a suggestion. And a question.
Suggestion: stop betting.
Question: what would you have won?
I would have won the same thing. The pleasure of seeing my friend suffer trying to cook the darn thing.
I was complaining about the cost of my MAME cabinet and that I would have to go buy games on Steam or GOG because that's the right thing to do since I'm playing a dubious version on the arcade. And then shipping was nuts, and it didn't have a pause button so I had to add that and the freaking USB controller for that was expensive as well... and... but I was going to be able to play Mortal Kombat on it like when I was 14, but without having to worry about coins or my mom.
So after all the whining my friend and co-worker said stop whining, you will get the biggest pay rise above all of us next month. I said no, it's probably going to be some jackass. Wanna bet? So we bet he would get more than me, and he bet I was going to get more than him.
I lost... and won at the same time.
MAME Cabinet vs. the cost of the actual machine? It's still a deal you're getting.
Holly s*it! 2k for a Mortal Kombat 2 arcade... I got 1, 2 and 3 on GOG for 6 bucks.
On the topic of freezing the cheese. Wouldn't that affect the texture of it once it melts? I never tried freezing cheese... we'll see on Saturday.
For those saying the bet doesn't include taste. This friend of mine is the most grotesque eater you can imagine, he's known to drink the "water" from the olives glass package. He says it tastes good and don't see any problem with it. ...so the pizza might as well be made of cardboard: if it has sauce on it, he'll eat it.
BUT, I guess I should at least *try* to make it taste good... after all I'd like to have a bite too.
When you're feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world, there's someone pushing a door that says "pull".
Holly s*it! 2k for a Mortal Kombat 2 arcade... I got 1, 2 and 3 on GOG for 6 bucks.
On the topic of freezing the cheese. Wouldn't that affect the texture of it once it melts? I never tried freezing cheese... we'll see on Saturday.
For those saying the bet doesn't include taste. This friend of mine is the most grotesque eater you can imagine, he's known to drink the "water" from the olives glass package. He says it tastes good and don't see any problem with it. ...so the pizza might as well be made of cardboard: if it has sauce on it, he'll eat it.
BUT, I guess I should at least *try* to make it taste good... after all I'd like to have a bite too.
Well if he'll eat anything then just use toothpaste instead of cheese, just squeeze it out of the tube after baking the pizza :P Might be easy to work with.
Nothing wrong with some olive juice, some of them are soaked in wine anyway
), so... any ideas?
...so the pizza might as well be made of cardboard: if it has sauce on it, he'll eat it. 
