Military canceled every 4 day except one since January and that one I was supposed to work until 3 days before the 4 day and it changed. My June leave was revoked. My GF just kept thinking I was ignoring her or with someone on the side because I was in the States. I tried explaining I am on an 2 hour recall at all times and I can't help that Boko Haram grabbed girls and Russia decided the Crimea needed to be re-possessed.

Ah well. Someday, I'll find a wife.

Aw mate, don't rush. You're young...plenty of time. I made a complete new life in my forties.

You'll do just fine.

If her stated reasons were indeed her real ones (one never really knows for sure what's really going on in their heads ), I'd say you're better off in the long run.

She apparently was not yet mature enough to cope with..well..life.

Even though it's highly frustrating, these things do help "weed out" the spouses that are not meant to stay with us. Ideally, you'd want the one that stays with you through such inconvenient or hard periods of time.

OTOH, one would think that by now the Army might have noticed that its way of "re-scheduling" its soldiers spare time can cause trouble on the domestic front, and at least figured out a way to help smooth things over with its soldiers spouses. A kind letter from the CO, explaining why the Army had to cancel leave, etc.

Welcome to the club Timothy

Timothy, face the fact that the kind of unit you are associated with is going to be different than most of the rest. As long as you are playing with the high speed low drag units, you are not going to have regular hours and days. If you want and expect that you had better either transfer to another kind of duty or explore civilian life.

This is what you wanted. Just as someone said about shaking and weeding things out, it goes all ways.


It is a steep price to pay at times. Only you know how much you have in your account.

Losing a girlfriend always hurts and makes you feel weak. I hope a better one comes along quickly.

If she left you for those reasons she wasn't worth having in the first place imho.

^^^ This
Worked away from home a lot, it put a big strain on the marriage and eventually it broke in 1992. Then my career took off, with promotion, then I got moved to head office in London with another promotion, then poached to another company, met that special someone, took early retirement and have now settled down to a life with my soon to be new wife. We have been together for almost 10 years now and we are both very happy, I was 48 when we met.

Could be a case of just not the right match or at the right time. Can't blame her if she needed a different situation, just like Timothy.
That said, it's good you figured it out before moving forward with her. Breaking up with a GF can eventually be the best thing you can do for yourself. Sucks about your leave disappearing regularly like that. You deserve some time to keep your sanity.

Lucky bugger.

You should marry one of your fellow soldiers.

Did not get married till I was 34. Son is off in Welding school now and the wife and me are celebrating
20 years together and on this job. Be patient, the right one will come your way.

This.

Or you could just join the Triple F club...(if we let you in)

Find em #%&*$# and Forget em......

Shallow but lots of fun while young.

Get over the drama. Have fun while you can.

Two things.

1) getting married is not a checkbox to tick as soon as possible. Depending on the situation it might even not be needed at all. I got married at 34. I had no rush- there's no need. And I actually think it's only partially about what you look in others, it's mainly knowing yourself.

2) IIRC there were some pictures in the girlfriend thread. Given what's going on the internet as of late- I'd remove them.


Apart from this- I wouldn't worry too much about the future.
It's painful now but life always has a way, an hour still lasts only an hour, a day just lasts a day and before you know it you're high above it.

PS: I fought that by working out and enlisting in an Aikido course. Just pure defensive. But boy it's intense.

With the delay in maturity of children in the past few decades, the date of when it's a good time to look to get married has pushed out as well.

No one around my age or younger (41) who I know who got married before I did (at age 25) is still married to that same person now. Some are married, but to their 2nd or 3rd. Most are single but in a relationship.

NONE have said they wished they were back with the first spouse, ALL said it was a mistake.

Now some got married older than I did, and STILL got divorced.
However, my wife and I knew each other for 3 years before we got married, and lived together for 2.5 of those, so there were no surprises. We knew each other very well, got along very well, and the marriage was more a legal formality to make things like insurance and such easier as we were already married before that as far as how we thought of it.

Just had the 16th anniversary and we've never once spent a night apart in anger (different rooms/dwellings/etc) and we have relatively few arguments, usually over dumb things when we're stressed. Worst time was when we were both unemployed as we are both subject to depression, but even then we never thought of splitting up.

I have come to think we are the exception rather than the rule, however.



The Jedi Master

I know. It's a hard knock life. Not too many people can say I've done what I've done. Not too many people can say while being in the US they had an important roll in having helped saved lives on the other side of the planet (Can't say more than that). I wouldn't trade what I have seen and done. That said, I still pray and hope they fix my leg, because then it will be a whole different world I'm in.

Few people, even in the Army can say that they have fast roped, jumped, learned to build IEDs, breech buildings, and been on training insertions.

It's a high price, but I accepted it.

I know a wife isn't a check mark, but I do truly hope to have children someday, I'm in my mid-30s.

Thanks for the kind words.

And of course military life and marriage/relationships is a tough pair. It sure took a toll on my parents who divorced a few years before the old man retired after 32yrs in the USCG. Your still young though I'm sorry you have to go through tough times with a significant other.

I know it's tough. I won't be able to retire, they keep putting age cut-offs and other things that makes it harder for a late entry in the military to make a career. I've got a goal here though, and I'm going for it. I just wish I could have spent my life with her. I told her I wanted to start a business after my service and work everyday with her. So you can tell I was smitten with her. I just never want to divorce. I see my parents and a few other couples' marriages and I'm like, "I want that kind of relationship!"

Thanks for the kind words.

My first wife played around. I was 19 and she was 16 when we met...just too young. We were together for 18 years but I can't say it was a lot of fun after the first few years.

Don't ask, don't tell? j/k

Hmmm...


...ya...I don't agree. Of all the couples who were both in uniform... none of them lasted more than 10 years. Actually, none of them lasted period.

But your mileage may vary.